Sunday, 1 July 2018

Oh Brother Episode 22-24

“Do I look like a s--t?” Dee asked, raising her eyebrows as she twirled around for me.
Her dress was black and skin tight, so I didn’t understand the purpose of twirling around. There was no space for it to soar, especially when it barely reached half her thigh. But despite that, I had to admit she looked great. And even though she was going to the New Years dance alone, it didn’t seem she would be leaving alone.
“Yeah, you do,” I said, smiling as her jaw dropped.
Before I could admit I was joking, she then closed her jaw. She straightened up and smirked, looking suddenly pleased with the response.
“Where’s Christian’s room?” she suddenly asked, sounding as innocent as ever.
This time my jaw dropped. My eyes even widened as her words echoed through my mind. Before I knew it I was scowling at her, feeling disgusted.
“Dee.” My scowl grew. “That’s… Sick.”
She laughed. “Saying your best friend looks slutty is sick.”
I couldn’t stop my smile from appearing at that. Shaking my head, I forgot about what she said. Thankfully .
“I was joking,” I admitted, smiling. “You look great. Straight hair suits you.”
“Thank you.” She grinned, flipping her hair away from her shoulders. “Think I can find myself someone hot?”
I shook my head at that, wondering how I was friends with someone so boy crazed. “Maybe.”
Dee smirked. “Someone as hot as Christian?”
I groaned and turned around, ignoring her words. At this point I knew she’d be obsessed with Christian forever, and there was nothing I could do but ignore her. So shrugging, I got ready.
“Autumn,” Dee said, sounding amazing. “Wow.”
I found myself blushing as I wondered what I should do with my loosely curled hair. Leaving it out completely looked great, wow like Dee said. But, it wasn’t a look I was accustomed to. Curling my hair was something I wasn’t accustomed to either. This was all new to me, and I felt awkward.
“Thanks,” I replied awkwardly. “What should I do with my hair?”
“Leave it out.” She smiled from where she sat on my bed. “It looks great.”
I suddenly heard a knock on the door, causing me to frown. No one had been at home, yet now someone was knocking on my door. I wondered who it was.
Quickly, I opened the door and Christian stood before me. His mouth opened as if he was about to say something, but when his eyes met my face, no words came out of his mouth. Instead, he just stared at me with his blue eyes glistening with thoughtfulness.
My heart suddenly began to accelerate as he brought his eyes down my body slowly, analyzing every part of me. In the maroon dress I wore that hugged my body, I suddenly felt insecure. In front of this young adult, I wondered if he was judging my child-like body that lacked any sort of curves. With Dee now standing in front of my bed, he had her – who had wonderful curves – to compare me to as well. My cheeked heated up.
But then, Christian slowly brought his eyes back up to my face. When his eyes locked with mine again, I became surprised when I noticed that his eyes lost their thoughtfulness. Instead they now looked gentle, affectionate almost as they just stayed staring at my own brown eyes. Not knowing what to do as my heart thumped, I just stared back at him.
In about a minute, Dee cleared her throat from behind us. That seemed to waken Christian up because he quickly moved his eyes away from mine to look at Dee. Finding my heartbeat slowing down, I also looked at Dee who stood where she was watching us. With her head titled slightly, she almost seemed to be studying us.
“Do you think Autumn should leave her hair as it is?” Dee asked, looking at Christian as her eyes glistened with awe at the boy she found gorgeous.
Christian quickly brought his eyes back to mine, and looked at my hair. With his eyes still looking gentle, he nodded as he suddenly walked past me and into my room.
“Yeah, she should,” he replied as I turned around.
For some reason I was lost for words as Christian leaned against my mirror table. He looked comfortable. Too comfortable in my room when my heart was still beating faster than I would like it to. Knowing it needed to calm down, I took a few deep breaths in and out. This was Christian, I tried to remind myself. Just some guy you lived with.
Once my heart calmed down, I looked back at Christian. He was still in the same spot as before, but now he seemed to be analyzing my room. To my horror and surprise, I realized this was his first time in my room. I found myself scowling, also noticing that Dee had moved closer to Christian.
Wanting him gone, I asked flatly, “What do you want?”
To my annoyance, he asked, “Where are you going?”
I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly. “I asked you first.”
“I wanted to hang out.” His face remained expressionless at that. “So, where are you going?”
Adrenaline pumped through me – even with those words – as we stared at each other for a second. I still didn’t know why, but Christian could easily do that to me. Just his presence sometimes put me on this sort of edge. Even though I liked him, it seemed like he could easily get on my bad side.
“I’m going to a dance,” I said, trying to sound firm because I knew I would anger him with this information. “With Nate.”
He didn’t react to my words. Instead, he just stared at me for another second. I stared back, waiting for his response.
“Why?” he simply asked, remaining expressionless.
“Because I want to.” I took a step towards him. “I want to go on a date with him because I find him cute.”
“Isn’t that a bit shallow?”
I rolled my eyes. “And because he’s a nice guy. Don’t worry Christian, nothing will happen if I date a guy like Nate.”
This time Christian rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know him.”
“I would if you let me get to know him,” I snapped.
Christian sighed at that and he ran his fingers through his hair tiredly. When he looked back at me, his eyes looked at me as if I was that little kid he had given up on. That kid he knew lecturing would never help. Instead of getting angrier, I suddenly felt hurt by that. Hurt that he thought the same as my mom.
“Guys,” Dee suddenly said. “Please don’t tell me you guys are going to fight. It’s not a pretty sight and I would rather leave.”
Christian sighed at that, his body sagging as he leaned back against my table. “No, I’ll leave. Take care of Autumn, okay?”
“I don’t need to be taken care of!” I exclaimed, exasperated.
Ignoring me, Christian stood up. Without looking at either of us, he then walked towards the door I stood beside. Unlike him, my eyes stuck to him.
“Wait, Christian,” Dee suddenly said. “Why don’t you come to the dance. As my date.”
Both Christian and I froze at those words. He turned around and my eyes flew to Dee, shocked. As she stood there, smiling boldly, I suddenly have the urge to slap her. After seeing what had gone down between the two of us, after all of the times I told her to back off from him, she didn’t seem to listen me. Anger boiled in my veins.
To my horror, Christian replied, “Sure.”
“Really?” Dee asked, sounding just as shocked as I felt.
“Yeah, it sounds fun.” He shrugged. “What should I wear?”
“Um.” Dee broke out into a smile. “Just a dress shirt and pants. Even if you come dressed like a hobo, you’d still look better than the others.”
Internally, I gagged at that. I then watched as Christian’s lip tugged up as he suppressed a smile. To my confusion, I suddenly felt sick. As if someone had punched me in the gut.
“Okay, I’ll get ready,” he then simply said.
He quickly left after that without even sparing me a glance. My eyes widened as I just looked down, wondering what the hell had happened. We had almost fought and then my best friend had asked him to be her date. To a dance where my date – who he hated – would attend. Anger was pumping through me at this point.
Before I knew it, I slammed the door shut. My eyes then flew to Dee, who’s eyes were now widened. I scowled at her.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, throwing my hands up into the air in frustration.
“What?” Dee asked, trying to look innocent despite that fact that her eyes looked bright with happiness.
If this had been another case, I would’ve been happy for her. Hell, I’d be celebrating with her. But in the situation we were in, I felt betrayed.
“How many times did I tell you that you can’t date him?” I hissed. “And really, after our near fight you ask him on a date. Do you even care abut me?”
To my shock, Dee suddenly looked tired. She sighed and just like Christian, I knew she felt like she was dealing with a child. Both hurt and fury rose up to my throat.
“Relax Autumn,” Dee said. “You guys didn’t even fight, and Christian is just looking out for you. That’s such a stupid reason to fight.”
I felt like someone slapped me with those words. Fighting back any sort of expression, I decided to go back to my original reason of why I was so mad.
“That doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t listen to me,” I said, noticing my anger sinking as hurt filled my chest in an almost physically painful way. “I told you a million times not to go after him.”
To my surprise, Dee’s eyes teared up. She looked at me with her eyes looking sad, and suddenly my own feelings of anger and hurt vanished. Dee was always so happy. Seeing her like this was rare.
“When was the last time I went on a date?” she suddenly asked. “When was the last time I had someone to call mine?”
I looked down as the pain in her eyes were evident. My last boyfriend had been two years ago, and hers was before that. It had been a long time.
“You have a date,” Dee continued, and I looked back up at her. “You can’t just expect me to be the third wheel.”
I was speechless as she walked towards me. My throat felt constricted, and I knew that she had a point. Everyone hated being the third wheel. What she had asked for was beneficial to herself. I should be happy for her. I should.
When Dee reached me, she gently grabbed my arms. I stared at her, still speechless as she looked at me with her tear filled eyes.
“Why is it such a bad thing for me to go on a date with Christian?” she asked. “What is your problem with it?”
I had no response. Deep inside, I kept telling myself that I should be happy for her. That this was okay. But the other parts of me still felt hurt. For some crazy feeing, I felt betrayed by not only her, but by Christian.
Shaking my head, I decided to push all this drama away. This pointless, heartbreaking drama. I had a date with Nate soon and I needed to make it a good one. Every time we tried to get closer there was always an issue, so I couldn’t let this be one of them. Knowing his patience would eventually tire, I just had to suck up everything.
Looking Dee in the eyes, I said seriously, “Fine. It’s okay.”
Her eyes brightened up and I wondered if she was actually sad in the first place. But before I could question it longer, Dee embraced me. She squealed and hugged me tightly, and I groaned. Deep inside I wasn’t satisfied, but I knew this was the best option. I couldn’t keep fighting with everyone.

I glanced at Nate who was driving and frowned. Bringing my eyes away from him, I internally sighed as I realized he wasn’t happy with the situation we were in. Lucky for him, I wasn’t either.
Christian had gotten ready quickly in a blue shirt and black pants. I was caught off guard when I saw him because I rarely ever saw him dressed up, and because he never wore anything that wasn’t black. Instead of commenting on those things though, I just ignored him and left to wait for Nate.
Nate soon came. Like a gentleman, he got out of his car and rang the doorbell. Since I had been waiting for him while Dee and Christian talked, I opened it quickly and commented on how great he looked. He did the same, saying that I looked hot.
At that moment Christian stepped forward and asked him to refrain from using that word on his ‘sister’. I rolled my eyes at that, and Nate’s eyes widened as he realized Christian was coming with us. Being the bigger person, he then chose to ignore Christian – just like me. We all then went to Nate’s car.
So there we were, on our way to the dance held at a hall. Nate and I hadn’t said a word the entire time, but from where I sat in the passenger seat I could hear Christian and Dee talking. As I glanced up at the rearview mirror, I saw that Dee was doing most of the talking. She looked animated doing so, and Christian was listening attentively. After watching her for a bit, I noticed with a heavy heart that she looked really happy.
We soon reached the hall and the four of us got out of the car. Nate quickly came to my side and I smiled at him. I hoped we would be able to talk inside, away from the two people I couldn’t help but slightly resent after the events of today.
Suddenly leaning close to my ear, Nate whispered, “Your stepbrother isn’t going to watch your every move today, is he?”
“He better not,” I muttered, glancing at Christian who still seemed to be listening to Dee attentively. “I’m so sick of his overprotectiveness.”
“Me too,” he muttered.
With that response, I knew Nate was getting tired. I didn’t blame him at all because I was also tired. If Christian did anything to ruin my seemingly last chance with Nate, I knew I would never forgive him.
“Shall we go?” Nate asked louder this time, moving away from me.
I nodded.
To my delight, Nate then grabbed my hand. He smiled at me as I blushed lightly, and then lead me inside. Dee and Christian became a background noise at that.
Our hands were still holding each other’s, but I now had to urge to let go of his sweaty hand. Not even because of its stickiness, but because I wanted to get away from Nate. Away from how awkward I felt. This date was not what I expected.
What I had expected was for us to talk. To laugh and get to know each other. And while doing that, we’d be dancing until our ankles snapped. But instead of all that, we were standing off in a corner, holding hands without saying a word. That was the exact opposite of what I had wanted.
I glanced at Nate, wondering how he wasn’t dying of boredom. When I saw his face, I noticed he looked intrigued. Almost fascinated as he stared at the dance floor covered with sweaty teenagers. The very teenagers I wanted to join, but couldn’t.
Seeing him so fascinated, I decided to look at the dance floor as well. I just needed something to get rid of my boredom. Something that wouldn’t make me regret going on this date. Honestly, a part of me felt pretty shitty that I had gone through so much trouble for him. It wasn’t worth it at this point.
As my eyes flew to the dancefloor, I saw what I expected. Teenagers dancing their hearts out, laughing, and some public displays of affection that I quickly looked away from. I wasn’t entertained yet, but seeing them have fun lightened my heart up a bit. Also made feel a bit jealous too, I had to admit.
My eyes wandered around the dance floor for a bit more. Nothing caught my attention for a while, but soon my eyes widened as I saw a pair dancing their hearts out. Standing incredibly close to each other, they were laughing as they looked like they didn’t have a care in the world. They were the replicas of what Nate and I were supposed to be today.
As the girl threw her head back, I realized in shock that the girl was Dee. At that very moment, my eyes widened and my heart sunk. Without giving Dee a second glance, my eyes flew to the boy that happened to be Christian.
With my eyes still wide, I stared at Christian. I watched him laugh with his eyes as bright as ever. Right now, he looked incredibly happy. Happier than I’d ever seen him. And for some reason, I felt like I got punched in the stomach from that.
Forcing my eyes to move away from him, I began to look at the ground. My heart felt heavy and I knew exactly how I felt towards them. Envious. For some crazy, stupid reason I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Nate and I had no chemistry it seemed, so there was no point of being here anyways.
Suddenly, I felt my hand being tugged. I looked up at Nate who was smiling at me. Somehow, he still looked happy.
“Hey, let’s dance,” he said.
My eyes widened as he finally asked the question I’d been waiting for. My heart lightened up and listened for the song, wondering what I would be jamming out to. To my slight disappointment, the song was a slow one. I realized that was why he even asked me to dance.
“Sure,” I replied, forcing a smile.
He took me to the dance floor where everyone else was slow dancing. Putting his arms around my waist, he then pulled me closer. If this had been yesterday, I would have been gushing at our close proximity. But now, I had the slight urge to pull away from him. Ignoring that urge, I wrapped my arms around his neck.
We began swaying side-to-side at that, and his eyes were on me. Instead of staring back at him, I decided to look at the other couples. Actually, I was looking for one specific couple who I couldn’t help but be curious about.
To my surprise, I spotted them quickly. Dee and Christian were in the same position as we were; standing close to each other and swaying side-to-side. The only difference was that they looked happy doing so. With smiles on their faces, they seemed happy to be slow dancing unlike me. And for some reason, I felt sick. I didn’t know why the sight of them was making me feel that way.
“Okay!” The DJ suddenly shouted, bringing my attention to him. “We’re going to switch things up!”
All of us froze at those words, wondering what he meant by that. I frowned as I moved away from Nate, listening closely to what the DJ would say.
“So I know everyone has a date or whatnot on the floor,” the DJ said, grinning. “But just for the hell of it, all of you need to find a new partner to dance with. Anyone.”
My frown grew at those words, wondering if the DJ was insane. Most of these pairs were actual couples, so dancing with another person would be somewhat wrong. I shook my head at the thought, knowing I wouldn’t go along with it.
Glancing at where Nate was, my eyes then widened. A gorgeous girl was talking to him, and before I knew it they were walking off hand-in-hand. My jaw dropped and I thanked myself for not falling for him. It seemed that I saved myself a whole lot of trouble. I rolled my eyes at the truth.
Moving my eyes away from the pair who was now slow dancing, I sighed as I realized I didn’t know what to do. Literally everyone was on the dance floor, and even then I barely knew any of these people. It seemed like I was a loser. A loner even. My pride took a hit at that, so I hung my head in slight shame.
But suddenly, I felt a hand grab my upper arm gently. I froze at the warm, gentle touch that I knew belonged to a guy. Looking up slowly, my eyes soon met blue eyes. Blue eyes, that I could draw just from the image I had permanently stuck to my mind.
“Hey,” Christian said.
“Hey,” I replied, feeling a variety of feelings. From shocked to warmth, I didn’t know how to describe what I was feeling – or thinking.
“Would you dance with me?” he asked, smiling his childlike smile.
For some insane reason, my heart fluttered at that. A response didn’t come to me for a second as I just stared at him, completely caught off guard. I didn’t understand.
“Me?” I couldn’t help but ask. “If you feel sorry for me and that’s why you’re asking, then the answer as no.”
I was slightly shocked from how defensive I sounded. But at the same time, it made sense to me. Christian had always saw me as this delicate little thing, so I knew he was asking me to dance because he felt sorry. I just knew, and there was no way I’d agree to that.
Christian shook his head. “That’s not why I’m asking.”
“Then why?” I prodded as my heart did summersaults.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was both touched and angry at him, and for both I didn’t know why. By now I realized I was a psychopath.
“What’s with all these questions?” he asked, smiling as he suddenly pulled me closer to him.
As we were only a few inches apart, I felt my cheeks heat up. I gulped as I stared at his eyes to see if he was hiding something. But all I could see what affection.
“Answer that one,” I suddenly said quietly – almost pleadingly. “Please.”
“Because I want to.”
His reply came out quickly, casually yet sincere. I stared at his eyes for a bit more, and they looked dead serious as well. All of my defensiveness vanished at that.
Before I knew it his arms wrapped around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and a smile quickly flew to my lips. He smiled back as we began swaying in sync.
It didn’t occur to me that I was slow dancing with my stepbrother. I was too focused on his eyes that were staring at mine. The blue of his shirt made them bluer, and I had to admit his eyes were gorgeous. I always thought that, but today I could admit it. Probably because all of the butterflies I felt made it hard to think straight. To even be the b---h I was around him. It was different, but from my light heart I knew a good different.
We didn’t say a word as we danced. Not even a sound. We just stared at each other with smiles spread across our faces. I still didn’t know why he asked me, why all of the sudden, but I didn’t care at this point for a couple of reasons. One of them being that this had been the best part of today. After Nate, I was glad something good was happening.
Suddenly feeling tired, I sighed and his smile dropped. He suddenly looked concern.
“You okay?” he asked. “Should we stop?”
“No,” I blurted out, causing me to blush. “I mean, I’m okay. I…”
“Today was not what you expected, right?” His eyes softened. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes widened. “How do you know?”
“I’m always watching you.” He shrugged. “I could tell.”
My heart skipped a beat and my blush grew. Deep inside I felt disgusted with myself, but my butterflies made that feeling small. So instead of running away from him, I actually moved closer.
“Let’s not talk about this,” I said, closing off the space between us. “I’m tired.”
Without another word, I then laid my head on his chest. His arms tightened around me at that, and I smiled. I just smiled as I listened to his rapid heartbeat. To my absolute delight, it seemed like I wasn’t the only one feeling this way from a simple dance. The thought reassured me, so I just stayed where I was.
After a minute, he said quietly, “I’m sorry for earlier.”
“Stop apologizing,” I muttered, feeling too calm to bring up the memories of the unpleasant afternoon. “It’s my fault.”
“Autumn, I just forget that you can take care of yourself. That you’re strong. I’m apologizing for every time I forget that,” he said, sounding as sincere as ever.
Once again, my heart fluttered. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but every touch, every word of his made me feel warm. Calm in a strange way I hadn’t felt in a while. I didn’t understand, so I decided to go back to our calm dancing.
“You’re forgiven,” I said with finality, but a smile flew to my lips as I snuggled into him. “Because of this dance.”
Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was smiling. The thought made me satisfied, so I just stayed where I was for the rest of the slow dances. Even when we were supposed to switch back to our original partners, I didn’t. I stayed where I was and didn’t care about who I angered. The feeling of being with him like this was too relaxing.

I screamed into my pillow as blush rushed into my cheeks. Mortified was the perfect way to describe how I felt. To the point where I never wanted to leave my room again, I was mortified. All because of Christian. Stupid, stupid, Christian .
Rolling over so that I was now facing the ceiling, I sighed. Saying I was drunk would be the perfect way to explain why I danced with him like that. Why I felt all those disgusting butterflies. Why I even felt so comfortable with him. But, I knew I hadn’t consumed any alcohol. To my disappointment, I had been completely sober the entire dance.
I groaned, knowing that I had to blame Nate for all this. If he hadn’t given me the worst date of my life, I would never have danced with Christian. I would never have laid my head on his chest. My cheeks heated up at the memory and I face palmed myself. For my sake, I had to blame Nate for this.
Tiredly, I closed my eyes as I wanted to take a nap. But instead of having good dreams, my mind decided to bring up the memory of our dance. Of how close we were. Of how my stomach was filled with butterflies. Of how both our hearts were beating so quickly. I opened my eyes quickly, groaning as I sat up. I needed a distraction.
But then I remembered that Christian lived in my house. The perfect reminder of the events of yesterday was in his bedroom down the hall. With him around, I knew there was no way I could be distracted here.
That was when it hit me. Dee. I needed to talk to after yesterday. She was mad at me. I could definitely tell during the awkward, silent car ride home. She had every right to be though. I had stole her date from her.
Getting up, I decided the best thing to do was apologize to her. Then I would explain how horrified I felt about the whole thing, and maybe she could help me with that. My mortified feelings definitely couldn’t stay when they involved my stepbrother. After all the work it took for us to bond, I couldn’t just let it get destroyed by my stupid mistake of agreeing to dance with him.
I was in Dee’s perfect, pink room. Sitting on her bed, I debated on how to apologize to her as she closed her rooms door. We hadn’t spoken a word yet, so I knew my apology had to be good.
As she came over and sat next to me, I suddenly felt nervous. Nervous at the thought of bringing up yesterday. Saying it out loud proved that it was true, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.
As Dee looked at me with her curious hazel eyes, I blurted out, “Sorry.”
I mentally kicked myself at the terrible apology and groaned. Psychopath, that was what I was.
Dee tilted her head, looking as curious as ever. “For what?”
“You know,” I replied, feeling my cheeks heat up. “For yesterday.”
Dee stared at me for a second, seeming confused. As she did that, I tried to fight off my blush. I couldn’t allow the thought of Christian ruin my chance of forgiveness.
After a few seconds, Dee’s eyes widened as she said, “Oh. You don’t need to apologize. I’m not mad.”
“Really?” My eyes widened. “You’re not?”
She shook her head. “Nope. It’s not like I liked him.”
“But I thought you were on your way to that…”
She shrugged. “Maybe, but… I don’t know. I don’t think we’re meant to be anything other than friends. Like, he’s nice and hot and all, but I just don’t think it’ll work out between us.”
I frowned. Just yesterday Dee was ready to jump at him. Even if he was moving to Australia, I knew she’d move there too for him. Her response was shocking and kind of unbelievable because of that. But despite that, I chose to go with it. I had been obsessed with Nate for a few months, and that changed in a day as well.
I smiled at Dee. “Okay, as long as we’re good.”
“Yeah.” Dee suddenly smirked. “So, now. Tell me about the boy you used to despise. I think I saw you slow dancing with him.”
I groaned. “Dee, I hate myself. What was I thinking?”
Dee’s eyes widened at that. “You regret it?”
“Yeah. I’m so mortified!”
“Really? Didn’t seem like that yesterday.” She smirked.
I groaned again. “I was just upset about Nate. I wasn’t thinking straight. Now that it’s the next day, I want to bang my head against the wall until I forget about the yesterday.”
Dee frowned. “Wait, so now you feel like you didn’t enjoy dancing with Christian?”
I blushed at the question. I hadn’t really put much thought into it, but that was mainly because the answer was one that disgusted me. One, I couldn’t admit.
“That isn’t the issue,” I said, trying to sound stern. “I can’t believe I danced with my stepbrother. The one I used to hate.”
“You so did like dancing with him.” Dee broke out into a grin. “And like you said, you guys aren’t related by blood. There’s no incest here.”
“Dee!” I exclaimed. “Stop!”
“Why don’t you deny it when I say you liked dancing with him. Because it’s the truth, right?”
My cheeks heated up. I began to regret coming here. She was supposed to make me feel better, less mortified with myself. Instead she was making me feel more mortified.
“You won’t answer because it’s true,” Dee said, eyes softening. “It’s okay, Autumn. Why is slow dancing such a big deal anyways?”
“Because it was with Christian,” I blurted out. “It because I didn’t feel like myself. I felt…”
“Happy? Relaxed? Safe, even?”
By now I knew my face was as red as a tomato as I nodded. I hated myself for agreeing, but this was Dee I was talking to. If I was going to admit this to anyone, I would choose her in a heartbeat.
“It’s okay to feel that way,” Dee then said. “What makes you so… Worried?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. It’s weird, you know. I never felt like that so easily and the thought of Christian being the one to make me feel that way is strange. I hated him. I wanted him gone from my life. And now, he had been the only good thing in a bad day. It’s just so messed up.”
Dee’s eyes softened. “I know it’s strange. I know it’s hard to understand, but I guess you just have to accept what happened because you can’t change the past. I know you feel weirded out and embarrassed, but like you said it was a good thing. It is a good memory.”
“But how am I going to face him?” I asked, looking down as I decided to listen to Dee.
She was right. I had enjoyed our dance. As much as it made me feel embarrassed and strange, I had enjoyed it. There was nothing to do about it, but accept it. But now facing Christian was the issue.
“You can just go on with your normal lives,” she replied. “Don’t let a dance affect anything. And if anything, he was the one who asked you to dance. He should be the one mortified because he initiated the whole event.”
“That’s different,” I muttered. “He did it out of pity.”
I didn’t reply as I stared at my clasped hands. That seemed like the most logical reason to me. Even though he said he wanted to, I found that hard to believe. Christian choosing me to dance with was just so unbelievable for so many reasons, that I decided it was out of pity.
“Yeah,” I suddenly said, looking back up at her. “I’ll just forget it happened. I’ll put it behind me.”
She frowned. “Is that really what you want?”
I nodded, but for some reason I felt slightly sad. “Yeah.”
“Okay, Autumn. As long as it doesn’t bother you anymore.”
“It doesn’t,” I lied, closing my eyes briefly.

To be continued..

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