Tuesday, 22 May 2018

AFTER ROMANCE Episode 61-65

The next morning I wake up before Harry and manage to roll him off of me and untangle our legs without waking him. The memory of him breathing my name in relief and all the secrets about himself he disclosed to me makes my stomach flutter. He was so unguarded and open last night, it made me care for him even more. The depth of my feelings for him scare me and I am not ready to face them yet. I get my curling iron and small bag of Steph's makeup I borrowed, with her permission of course, and walk down to the bathroom to get ready and brush my teeth. The hallway is empty and no one knocks on the door while I get ready. I'm not as lucky as I make my way back to Harry's room. Three guys walk down the hall, I recognize one of them as Louis.
"Hey Tessa!" he chirps and flashes me his perfect smile.
"Hey, how are you?" I ask politely. I feel awkward with the three of them staring at me.
"Good, just on our way out. Are you like moving in here or something?' He laughs.
"No, definitely not. Just uhm.. visiting." I have no clue what to say. The tall guy bends down and whispers something into Louis' ear but I can't make out what it is so I look away.
"Well, I will see you guys later." I say.
"Yea, see you tonight at the party." Louis says and walks away. What party? Why wouldn't Harry mention a party to me? Maybe he doesn't plan on being here? Or maybe he doesn't want you to come. My subconscious adds. Who throws a party on a Tuesday anyway. When I reach Harry's door it opens before I reach the handle.
"Where were you?" He says and opens it wide enough for me to walk in.
"Doing my hair, I wanted to let you sleep." I tell him.
"I told you not to be wandering the halls Tessa." he scolds me.
"And I told you not to boss me around, Harry." I add sarcastically and he chuckles, his features softening.
"Touché" He laughs and steps closer to me. He places one of his hands on the small of my back and puts the other under his shirt onto my stomach. His fingers rough with calluses, but gentle on my skin, move higher and higher on my stomach.
"However, you really should wear a bra when you're roaming the halls of a fraternity house Theresa." He brings his mouth to my ear the exact moment that his fingers find my breasts. He rubs over the sensitive area with his thumbs, making them harden under his touch. He sucks in a sharp breath and I am frozen but my heart is racing.
"You never know what kind of perverts are lurking in the halls" he breathes softly into my ear. His fingers swirl around my nipples, before he pinches them lightly between his thumb and forefinger. My head falls to his chest and I am unable to control my moans as his fingers continue their gentle assault.
"I bet I could make you come just by doing this." he says and applies more pressure. I had no idea that this could feel this..good. I nod and Harry chuckles, his mouth against my ear.
"Do you want me to do that? Make you come?" he asks and I nod again. Does he even have to ask? My heavy breathing and shaky knees should give it away.
"Good girl, now lets move to the .."he begins, my alarm on my cell phone interrupts.
"Oh god! We have to leave in ten minutes Harry and you're not even dressed. I'm not even dressed!" I pull away and he shakes his head and pulls me back to him. This time pulling my pants and panties down my legs. He reaches over and shuts my phone off.
"I only need two minutes, that leaves eight to get dressed." he says and lifts me off the floor, taking me over to the bed. He sits me down on the edge, kneels in front of me, and pulls me by my ankles to the edge.
"Spread your legs baby." he coos and I oblige. I know this wasn't on my schedule for this morning, but I can't think of a better way to start my day. His long finger traces up my thighs and he holds me down with one hand. His head dips down and he licks up and down my core once before puckering his lips and sucking. Its that spot again, oh lord. My hips buck off the bed and he pushes me back down and continues to hold me down. Using his other hand, he inserts a finger into me, pumping faster than ever before. I can't decide if his fingers or him sucking feels better, but the combination is mind-blowing. Within seconds I feel that burn in the pit of my stomach and he pumps his finger faster.
"I'm going to try two okay?" He says and I moan in approval. The feeling is strange, like the first time and uncomfortable but he places his lips back on me and sucks again, making me forget about the subtle pain. I whimper as Harry removes his mouth once more. "Shit, you're so tight baby." His words alone are going to send me over the edge.
"You okay?" he asks. I grab him by his curls and push his face down. He chuckles and then attaches his lips again.
I moan his name and pull his hair as I experience my strongest orgasm. Not that I have had many, but this one was definitely the quickest and strongest. Harry places a small kiss on my hip bone before standing and walking to the closet. I lift my head and try to catch my breath. He walks back over and wipes me off with a t-shirt, I would be more embarrassed if I was fully coherent.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to brush my teeth." He smiles and exits the room. I stand up and get myself dressed and check the time. We have three minutes until we have to leave. When Harry returns, he quickly gets dressed and we leave.
"Do you know how to get there?" I ask as he pulls out of the driveway.
"Yea, my father's best mate from university is Christian Vance." he tells me.
"Oh..wow." I knew Ken had a connection there but I didn't know the CEO was his best friend.
"Don't worry, he's a nice guy. A bit of a square but nice, you'll fit right in." His smile is contagious. "You look lovely by the way." he praises.
"Thank you, you seem to be in a good mood this morning." I tease.
"Yea, having my head between your thighs this early in the morning makes for a good day." he laughs and takes my hand in his.
"Harry!" I scold him and he laughs once more. The drives goes quickly and in no time we are pulling into a parking lot behind the large building. Vance Publishing House is a six story building with mirrored glass sides and a large V placed on the front.
"I'm nervous." I admit to Harry as I check my makeup on the mirror.
"Don't be, you will do fine. You are so smart and he will see that." Harry assures me. I love when he is nice like this.
"Thank you." I say and lean across to kiss him. It is a sweet and simple kiss.
"I'll be in the car waiting for you." He says and kisses me again.
The inside of the building is just as elegant as the outside. When I reach the front desk, I am instructed to go to the sixth floor. I reach the desk on the sixth floor and give the young man my name. He flashes his perfect white smile at me before walking me to a large office.
"Mr. Vance, Theresa Young is here." He says and I am waved in by a middle aged man with a beard. His green eyes can be seen from across the room as he walks towards me and shakes my hand. His smile is comforting and relaxes me as he tells me to have a seat.
"It's very nice to meet you Theresa. Thank you for coming." Christian Vance greets me.
"Tessa, call me Tessa. Thank you for having me." I smile.
"So, Tessa you are a freshman English major?" He asks and I nod.
"Yes, sir." I answer.
"Ken Styles gave you a great review, says I would be missing out if I didn't give you an internship" he smiles.
"Ken is a very kind man." I say and he nods, rubbing his beard with his fingers.
He asks me to name my favorite and least favorite authors and explain why I feel that way. He nods and hums through my explanation and when I finish he smiles.
"Well Tessa, when can you begin? Ken has agreed to have your schedule altered so you can be here three days a week and take classes on campus, the other two." he says and my mouth falls open.
"Really?" Is all I can say. This is beyond expectations. I had assumed I would have to take night classes and come here during the day IF I got the offer.
"Yes, and you will also receive credit hours towards your degree for your time spent here."
"Thank you so much. This is such an amazing opportunity, thank you again." I can't believe how lucky I am.
"We will discuss your pay Monday when you start."
"Pay?" I had assumed it would be an unpaid internship. This really is the best day of my life.
"Yes of course you will be paid for your time." he smiles and I nod. I am afraid if I open my mouth I will thank him for the thousandth time.
I practically run to the car and Harry climbs out as I reach the car.
"Well?" He asks and I squeal.
"I got it! It's paid and I will be here three days a week and school two days and I get college credit and he was so nice and your dad is wonderful for doing this for me, and you too of course. I am just so excited and I.. well I guess that's it." I laugh and he wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tight and lifting me into the air.
"I am happy for you." he says and I bury my fingers into his hair.
"Thank you." I say and he puts me down. "Really, thank you for driving me and waiting in the car."
He assure me that it is no problem as we both climb into the car.
"What do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?" Harry asks.
"Go back to school of course, we can still make it to literature"
"Really? We could find something much more fun to do."
"No, I have already missed too many classes this week, I don't want to miss anymore. I am going to Literature and so should you." I smile. He rolls his eyes but nods in agreement. We make it just in time for Literature and I gush to Liam about the internship. He congratulates me and gives me a tight hug. Harry rudely makes gagging noises behind us and I kick at his leg.
After class Harry walks out with Liam and I as we discuss the details for the bonfire this Friday. We agree that I will meet Liam at his house at five for dinner then we will go to the bonfire at seven. Harry stays quiet during our discussion and I wonder if he will accompany me. He told me before he was going to the bonfire, but I believe that was only to compete with Zayn. Liam tells me goodbye as we reach the parking lot.
"Styles!" Someone calls. We both turn around to see Niall and Molly walking towards us. Great, Molly. She is wearing a tank top and a red leather skirt. It's only Tuesday, she should save the skanky outfits for the weekends.
"Hey" Harry says and takes a step away from me.
"Hey Tessa" Molly smiles. I return her greeting and stand awkwardly as Harry and Niall exchange hellos.
"You're ready right?" Niall asks him and it becomes clear that Harry told them to meet him here. I don't know why I had assumed we would hang out again, it's not like we can spend every day together. Even though I wish we would.
"Yea, I'm ready." Harry tells them and looks at me. "See you around Tessa" he casually says and turns to walk away from me. Molly looks back at me with a smirk on her makeup covered face as the three of them climb into Harry's car, Molly in the passenger seat. While I stand on the pavement and wonder what the hell just happened.

During my walk back to my room I realize how foolish I have been expecting Harry to be different than before. I should have known better. I should have known that this was too good to be true. Harry kissing me in front of Liam, Harry being nice and wanting "more", Harry telling me about his childhood. I should have known that as soon as his friends came along he would go right back to the Harry that up until two weeks ago, I despised.
"Hey girl! You coming tonight?" Steph asks as I walk in the room. Tristan is sitting on her bed staring at her in the adoring way I wish Harry would stare at me.
"No, I am going to study" I tell her. It's nice to know that everyone was invited yet Harry didn't see it fit to invite me. Probably so he could hang out with Molly with any distractions.
"Oh come on! It will be fun. Harry will be there" She smiles and I force one back to her.
"Really, it's okay. I need to call my mom and catch up with her and plan my assignments for next week."
"Lameeee!" Steph teases and grabs her purse. "Suit yourself. I'll be out all night so if you need anything let me know." she says and hugs me goodbye.
I call my mother and tell her about my internship, of course she is beyond pleased by my amazing opportunity. I leave Harry out of the explanation but I do mention Ken, but I say he is Liam's soon to be stepfather which is true. She asks about Noah and I but dodge her questions. After listening to her talk about her new co-worker whom she believes is having an affair with her boss, we get off the phone. My mind immediately goes back to Harry, as always. My life was much more simple before met Harry, and now after.. it is complicated and stressful and I am either extremely happy or there is this burning in my chest when I think of him with Molly.
I will go insane if I just here and it's only six o'clock by the time I give up trying to study. Maybe I should go for a walk? I really need some more friends. I grab my phone and call Liam.
"Hey Tessa!" his voice is friendly and soothes some of my anxiety over Harry and Molly.
"Hey Liam, are you busy?" I ask him.
"No, just watching the game. Why is something wrong?"
"No, I was just wondering if maybe I could come over and hang out.. or maybe if your mom doesn't mind maybe I could take her up on those baking lessons." I laugh.
"Yea of course you can come over. I know she would love that, I will let her know you're coming." he says.
"Okay, the next bus isn't for thirty minutes but I will be there as soon as I can." I tell him.
"Bus? Oh yea, I forgot you haven't found a car. I will come get you."
"No, really it's okay. I don't mind taking the bus, I don't want you to go out of your way."
"Tessa, its less than ten miles. I'll leave now." he says and I finally agree.
I grab my purse and check my phone one last time. Of course he hasn't text or called me. I hate the way I feel dependent on him, especially when I obviously can't depend on him. Liam comes to get me and I turn my phone off. If I leave it on, I will go crazy checking it every few minutes. I should just leave it here. I walk over and sit it in my top drawer before I walk out and lock my door. I sit down on the curb and wait for Liam to pick me up. Minutes later he pulls up and honks lightly, I jump off the curb from the surprise and we both laugh as I climb in the car.
"My mother is going insane in the kitchen right now so be prepared for a very detailed baking lesson." He laughs.
"Really? I love the details!" I joke.
"I know you do, we are alike that way." he tells me and turns on the radio. I hear the familiar sound of one of my favorite songs.
"May I turn this up?" I ask and he nods.
"You like The Fray?" He asks in a surprised tone.
"Yes! They are my favorite band, I love them. Do you like them?"
"Yes! Who doesn't?" he laughs. I almost tell him Harry doesn't but I decide against it.
When we arrive to the house, Ken greets us at the door with a friendly smile. I hope he wasn't expecting Harry to be with me. I see no disappointment on his face so I smile back.
"Karen is in the kitchen, enter at your own risk." He laughs.
He wasn't joking, Karen has the entire large island covered in pans, mixing bowls, and a lot of other things that I have no idea what they are.
"Tessa! I am just getting everything ready!" She smiles.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" I ask.
"No, not at the moment. I am almost finished. ..There I'm done."
"I hope it wasn't too late of notice for me to come by." I tell her.
"Oh no dear, you are always welcome here." She assures me and I know she means it. She hands me an apron to wear and I tie my hair up into a bun. Liam sits on the bench and talks to us for a few minutes while Karen shows me all the ingredients to make cupcakes from scratch. I pour them into the mixer and turn it on low speed.
"I already feel like a professional baker." I laugh and Liam leans across, wiping his hand across my cheek.
"Sorry, you have some flour on your face." His cheeks flush and I smile.
"It's okay." I tell him and go back to pouring my cupcakes into the baking pan. Liam leaves the room to finish the football game. Karen and I ice our cupcakes and I am pleased with the way mine turned out. I use the piping bag to make an "L" on the top of one of them and sit it aside for Liam. Karen expertly pipes flowers and grass onto her cupcakes.
"We will make cookies next time." She smiles and places the cupcakes in a serving case.
"Sounds good to me." I tell her and take a bite of my cupcake.
"Where is Harry tonight?" Karen asks. I chew my cake slowly before answering.
"He's at his house." I simply answer. She frowns slightly but doesn't push it.
Liam joins us back in the kitchen and Karen leaves the room to take a few cupcakes to Ken.
"Is this cupcake for me?" Liam asks and holds up the cupcake with the squiggly L written in icing.
"Yea, I have to work on my piping skills." I laugh and he takes a big bite.
"Tastes good." he says with a full mouth. I giggle and he wipes his mouth.
I eat another cupcake and Liam talks about the game. My mind travels to Harry again and I stare out the window.
"Are you okay?' Liam pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Yea, I'm sorry. I was paying attention.. at first." I smile apologetically.
"It's alright. Is it Harry?"
"Yea.. how'd you know?" I tease.
"Where is he?"
"At his frat house, there is a party tonight and he didn't tell me about it. He had his friends meet him and he said see you around Tessa, when he said goodbye to me. I feel like an idiot even repeating this, I know how stupid I sound but it's driving me crazy. The girl Molly, he used to mess around with her, all the time and she is with him now, and he didn't tell them we are.. whatever we are." I breathe.
"Aren't you two supposed to be dating?" Liam asks.
"Yea.. well I thought so but I don't know now."
"Why don't you try to talk him? Or go to the party?" He suggests and I laugh.
"I can't just go to the party."
"Why not? You've been to their parties before and you and Harry are sort of dating or whatever this is, and your roommate will be there. I would go if I was you."
"Really? Steph did invite me, I don't know." I want to go just to see if Harry is with Molly but I feel stupid just showing up there.
"I think you should."
"Will you come with me?" I ask.
"Oh no, no. Sorry Tessa. We are friends but no." he laughs and I join. I knew he wouldn't but it was worth asking.
"I think I will go. At least to talk to him." I decide.
"Good, I would wipe the flour off your face first." he laughs and I gently push his arm.
I stay a little while longer to hang out with Liam, I don't want him to think I was just using him for a ride to the party, even though I know he doesn't think that.
"Good luck, call me if you need me." He says as I get out of the car. After he drives away I remember that I left my phone in my room to avoid worrying about Harry, yet here I am showing up at his house.
A group of scantily clad girls are standing in the yard and I look down at my outfit. I am wearing jeans and a cardigan, I barely have any makeup on and my hair is in a bun on top of my head. What the hell was I thinking coming here? I swallow my anxiety and walk inside. I don't see any familiar faces except Louis who is doing a body shot off of a girl wearing only a bra and panties. I walk through the kitchen and someone hands me a red cup full of alcohol, I put the cup to my lips. If I am going to confront Harry I need alcohol. I push my way through the crowded living room to the couch that their group usually hangs out on. Molly's pink hair comes into vision. I feel sick as I notice she isn't sitting on the couch, she is sitting on Harry's lap. His hand is on her thigh and she leans back against him, laughing amongst her circle of friends. How did I get myself in this situation with Harry? I should have stayed away from him, I knew it then and I am slapped in the face with it now.
I should just leave, I don't belong here and I don't want to cry in front of these people again. I am sick of crying over Harry and I am done trying to make him something he isn't. Every time I think I feel as low as I can, he does something else and I realize I have no idea the real pain that unrequited feelings can cause. I watch as Molly puts her hand over Harry's and he moves it away, but then puts his hand on her hip, giving her a playful squeeze and she giggles. I try to force myself to move, to back up, to run, to crawl, to do anything to get me out of here, but my eyes are locked on the boy I was falling for while his eyes are locked on her.
"Tessa!" Someone calls. Harry's head snaps up and his green eyes meet mine. His eyes are wide with shock and Molly looks my way and leans further onto Harry. His lips part as if he is going to say something but he doesn't.
Zayn appears at my side and I finally force my eyes from Harry's. I try to muster a smile for Zayn but all of my energy is being used to prevent myself from bursting into tears.
"Do you want a drink?" He asks and I look down. I was holding a cup of beer wasn't I? At my feet is my cup, the beer spilled across the carpet. I take a step away from it, I normally would clean it up and apologize but right now I would rather just pretend it wasn't mine.
"Yes please" I say, my voice is strained. I have two options, I can run out of here in tears and let Harry know he got the best of me, or I can put on a brave face and act like I don't care about him and the way he is still holding Molly on his lap.
I decide to go with option two.

"Cool, lets get you a drink." Zayn smiles and walks into the kitchen. I follow behind, mentally psyching myself up so I can get through this party. I wanted to stop over and curse Harry out, tell him to never speak to me again, slap him and rip Molly's pink hair out of her head. However, he would probably find that amusing, so I decide to gulp down the entire cherry vodka sour that Zayn made me and ask for another. Harry has ruined too many of my nights, and I refuse to be that girl.
"Woah, slow down killer. You already drank two!" Zayn laughs as I hold my cup out for another drink within minutes.
"It tastes really good." I laugh and lick the remaining cherry flavoring off my lips.
"Well, lets just take it slow on this one, yea?" he smiles and I agree.
"I think we are about to play another round of truth or dare." He informs me. What is with these adults and their annoying games of truth or dare? I thought people stopped playing those ridiculous games when they were in high school. The pain in my chest returns as my mind goes over all of the things Harry and Molly may have been dared to do.
"What did I miss during the last round?" I ask him with my best flirty smile that I can manage. I probably look insane but he smiles back so it seems to work.
"Just some drunk people sucking face, the usual." he laughs. The lump in my throat rises but I swallow it back down with my drink. I give a fake laugh and continue to drink out of my cup as we make our way back to the couch. Zayn takes a seat on the floor diagonal from Harry and Molly's spot on the couch and I sit down next to him, closer than I usually would but that's the point. Harry's eyes draw to slits but I ignore him. Molly is still perched on his lap like the whore she is, and Steph gives me sympathetic smile and glances towards Harry. The vodka is beginning to take its effect as Niall's turn comes.
"Niall, truth or dare?" Steph asks and Niall smiles.
"Truth." he answers and she rolls her eyes.
"Pussy" she says. Her colorful language never ceases to surprise me. "Is it true that you pissed in Tristan's closet last weekend?" She asks and they all start laughing except me. I have no clue what they are talking about.
"No! I already told you guys that wasn't me!" He groans and everyone continues to laugh. Zayn looks over and winks at me in the middle of his laughter. Geez he is hot. Really hot.
"Tessa, you playing?" Steph asks and I nod. I look up at Harry and he is staring at me. I smile at him and look back at Zayn. The frown on his face takes a little of the pressure off my chest. He should feel as terrible as I do.
"Okay, truth or dare?" Molly asks. Of course she would be the one to ask me.
"Dare." I bravely say. God knows what she will have me do.
"I dare you to kiss Zayn." She says and a few gasps and chuckles are heard.
"We already know how she feels about kissing people, pick something else." Harry says through his teeth.
"Actually, it's fine." He wants to play, we can play.
"I don't think.." Harry starts to say.
"Shut up Harry." Steph says and gives me a knowing smile.
"I can't believe I agreed to kiss Zayn, even though he is one of the most attractive people I have ever seen, I have only really kissed Noah and Harry, Johnny from elementary school doesn't count.
"You sure?" Zayn asks. He is trying to act concerned but I can see the excitement in his perfect features.
"Yea, I am sure." I answer and take another drink before sitting it next to me. Everyone's eyes are on us as Zayn licks his lips and leans in to kiss me. His lips are cold from his drink and I can taste the sweetness of the cherry juice on his tongue. His lips are soft, yet hard against mine and his tongue moves expertly with mine. I feel the heat rising in my stomach, not nearly as hot as with Harry, but it still feels good. Zayn's hands move to my waist and we both move up to our knees.
"Okay.. damn she said kiss, not fuck each other in front of everyone." Harry says and Molly tells him to shut up. Harry looks mad, beyond mad. But he brought this upon himself. Part of me had assumed he would have Molly get off his lap by now, but he hasn't.
I pull away from Zayn and feel my cheeks flush as everyone stares at us. Steph gives me a thumbs up and I look at the ground. Zayn looks very pleased and I feel embarrassed but thrilled with Harry's reaction.
"Tessa, your turn to ask Tristan." Zayn says. Tristan chooses dare so I give him the least creative dare and have him take a shot.
"Zayn truth or dare?" Tristan asks as he chases his shot. I down the rest of my drink, the more I drink, the more numb my emotions become.
"Dare." Zayn answers and Steph whispers something in Tristan's ear.
"I dare you to take Tessa upstairs for ten minutes." He says and I choke on my breath. This is too much.
"That's a good one!" Molly says and laughs at my expense. Zayn looks at me as if asking me if I'm okay with it. Without thinking, I stand up and grab Zayn's hand. He looks as suprsied as everyone else but he stands up with me and grips my hand.
"This isn't part of truth or dare, this is.. uhm well it's fucking dumb." Harry says.
"Why does it matter? They are both single and it's all in good fun, so why do you care?" Molly asks him.
"I.. I don't care. I just think it's stupid." Harry answers and my chest hurts again. He obviously had no plan on telling any of his friends that we are .. were.. whatever we were. He has been using me this entire time, I am just another girl to him and I was foolish, beyond foolish to think otherwise.
"Well good thing it's none of your business Harry." I snap and pull Zayn by the hand.
"Burn!" Damn!" I hear a few voices say and Harry cuss at them as we walk away from them. We find a random bedroom right up the stairs and Zayn pulls the door open and turns the light on. Now that I am away from Harry, I a beginning to feel much more nervous being alone with Zayn. No matter how angry I am at Harry, I don't want to mess around with Zayn, well I wouldn't say I don't want to, but I know I shouldn't. I am not that type of girl.
"So what do want to do?" I squeak.
He chuckles a little and leads me to the bed. Oh lord.
"Let's just talk, yea?" He says and I nod and look down at the floor.
"Not that I wouldn't love to do many other things with you, but you're intoxicated and I want you to be fully aware of what's going on. I don't want to take advantage of you." He tells me and I gasp.
"Surprised?" He beams and I laugh.
"A little." I admit.
"Why? I'm not a jerk, like Harry." he says and I look away again. "You know, I thought you and Harry had something going on for a little bit."
"No.. we are just.. well we were friends but not anymore." I don't want to admit how stupid I was for believing Harry's lies.
"So are you still seeing your boyfriend from high school?" He asks. I am relieved to stop talking about Harry.
"No, we broke up."
"Oh, that's too bad. He was a lucky guy." he smiles. He is so charming. I find myself staring into his caramel eyes, his eye lashes are fuller than mine.
"Thanks." I flush and he smiles wider.
"Maybe I could take you out sometime? On a proper date? Not into a bedroom at a frat party." he laughs nervously.
"Uhmm.." I don't know what to say.
"How about I ask again tomorrow when you're sober?" He is much nicer than I thought he would be. Usually guys as attractive as him are jerks, like Harry.
"Deal" I agree and he takes my hand again.
"Let's go back down." He suggests and I nod. When we walk back downstairs Harry and Molly are still on the couch, but Harry has a drink now and Molly has her legs draped over him from the side, instead of sitting on his lap. Harry's eyes dart down to Zayn and I's intertwined hands, I jerk away without thinking but then grab his hand again. Harry clenches his jaw and I look away.
"How was it?" Molly smirks.
"Fun." I answer and Zayn stays quiet. I will thank him later for not correcting me.
"It's Molly's turn." Niall announces as we sit back on the floor.
"Truth or dare?" Harry asks her.
"Dare of course." She tells him. He looks right into my eyes and says, "I dare you to kiss me."
My heart stops, literally. It stops beating, he is a bigger asshole than I ever imagined. My ears are swimming and my heart is pounding as a boastful glance is shot by way by Molly before she latches herself to Harry. All the anger I feel towards Harry is washed away and replaced by hurt, its all consuming and I feel the hot tears on my face. I can't watch anymore, I am on my feet and pushing past the drunk crowd within seconds. I hear Zayn and Steph both call after me and the room feelings like it's spinning and when I close my eyes all I can see is Molly and Harry. I finally reach the door and the fresh air fills my lungs and brings me back to reality. How could he be so cruel? I run down the stairs on the sidewalk, I have to get away from here. I wish I would have never met him, I wish I would have had a different roommate, I even wish I would have never came to WSU.
"Tessa!" I hear and I turn around, convinced I am imagining it until I see Harry running after me.

I force my feet to move faster, I have never been very athletic but my adrenaline is in full effect. I reach the end of the street and I begin to tire. Where the hell am I going to go? I don't remember the path that I walked back to my dorm last time and I stupidly left my phone in my room.
"Tessa stop!' Harry yells again. I stop. I stop dead in my tracks. Why am I even running from him, he needs to explain why he keeps playing games with me. "What did Zayn say to you?" What?
When I turn around to face him he is only a few feet away, due to the shocked expression he holds, I know he didn't expect me to stop.
"What Harry! What could you possibly want from me?" I scream. My heart is pounding from running and from him breaking it.
"I.. " He seems to be at a loss for words for once. "Did Zayn say something to you?"
"No.. why would he?" I take another step forward so I am face to face with him, well I would be if he wasn't so much taller than me. My anger is rolling off of me.
"I'm sorry okay?" He says quietly. He looks into my eyes and reaches his hand out to take mine but I swat it away. He ignores my question about Zayn but I am too mad to care.
"You're sorry? You're sorry?" I repeat, my voice comes out in a laugh.
"Yea, I am."
"Go to hell Harry." I begin to walk away, he grabs my arm again and my anger boils over. My hand flies up and smacks him, hard. I am surprised by my violent actions as he is and I almost want to apologize for hitting him, but the pain he has caused me is much more than a slap on the cheek.
He rubs his cheek with his hand and looks back to me. "What the hell is your problem you were the one kissing Zayn!" He yells. A car passes and the driver stares but I ignore it. I don't care about causing a scene right now.
"You're not seriously trying to blame me? You lied to me and played me like a fool Harry! Just when I thought I could trust you, you humiliate me! If you wanted to be with Molly why not just tell me to leave you alone? Instead, you feed me that bullshit about wanting more and beg me to stay the night with you just so you can use me! What was the point what did you get out of it, oh besides a blow job!" I scream, the word tastes odd coming out of my mouth.
"What? You think that's what I am doing? You think I am using you?" He shouts.
"No, that's not what I think Harry, that is what I know. But guess what? I'm done, I am so beyond done. I will move rooms if I have to so I don't have to see you again!" I say and mean it.
"You're overreacting." he states and it takes everything in me not to slap him again.
"I'm overreacting? You didn't tell your friends about us, you didn't tell me about this party, then you left me standing in the parking lot like a dumbass while you left with Molly out of all people! Then I show up here to find Molly on your lap, and then you kiss her. Right in front of me Harry. So my reaction is justified." I say, my voice much quieter, exhausted. I wipe the fresh tears from my face and wait for his response.
"You kissed Zayn right in front of me! And I didn't tell you about the party because I don't have to! You wouldn't have wanted to come anyway, you would have been too busy studying or watching the damn paint dry" he hisses.
"So why even waste your time with me? Why even follow me out here Harry?" He doesn't say anything. "That's what I thought, you thought you could come out here and say sorry and I would stay a secret, you're boring little hidden girlfriend. You're wrong, you took my kindness for weakness and you were sadly mistaken."
"Girlfriend? You thought you were my girlfriend?" He almost laughs. The pain in my chest is magnified by a thousand.
"No.. I." I start to say. I don't know what to say.
"You did, didn't you?" he laughs.
"You know.. I did." I admit. I am already humiliated so I have nothing to lose. "You fed me that bullshit about wanting more and I believed you. I believed all the shit you said to me, all the things you claimed to never tell anyone, that was all bullshit too. I am sure none of that even happened. But you know what? I'm not even mad at you, I am mad at myself for believing it. I knew how you were before I started to fall for you, I knew you would hurt me. What were your words, 'You'll destroy me?' Congratulations Harry, you won." I sob. Pain flashes in his eyes, well what looks like pain. It is probably humor.
I no longer care about winning or losing or playing these exhausting games with him. I turn away from him again and begin to walk back towards the house, I will have to find someone's phone to use to call Liam or get directions to the dorms.
"Where are you going?" He asks. It hurts that he doesn't have anything to say, he has offered me no explanation. He has only confirmed what I already knew, that he is heartless.
"Back to the house, I need to use someone's phone to call Liam." I walk faster, only a few more houses until his.
"Liam? Why would you call Liam?"
"Because I can depend on him"
"You can't depend on me?" He asks. He can't be serious.
"Are you really that crazy or are you just playing with my head again? You can't possibly think I could ever depend on you or even trust you." I spit. We are back to the steps in front of the house and I spot Molly's pink hair outside. "Aww look, she is waiting for you. You two really are perfect for each other."
"It's not like that and you know it." He says.
"I don't know anything, obviously." I snap and take two steps at a time.
Zayn appears in the doorway and I rush to his side. "Can I use your phone? Please?" I beg and he nods.
"Are you okay? I tried to go after you, but you were long gone." he says and I nod. Harry stands in front of Zayn and I while I call Liam and ask him to pick me up. Zayn and Harry stare at eachother for a second before Zayn looks away and back down at me.
"Is he coming?" Zayn asks, his voice full of concern.
"Yea, he will be here in a few minutes. Thank you for letting me use your phone." I tell him, ignoring Harry.
"No problem, do you want me to wait with you?" He asks.
"No, I will wait with her." Harry's voice is full of venom.
"I would love if you could wait with me, Zayn." I say and Harry balls his fists at his sides. I walk back down the steps with Zayn. Harry being the asshole that he is follows us down the steps and stands behind us awkwardly. Steph, Tristan and Molly walk down the steps to us.
"Are you okay?" Steph asks and I nod.
"Yea, I am leaving though. I shouldn't have even come here." I say and she hugs me.
"You got that right.'' Molly says under her breath.
"You are right, I shouldn't be here. I don't enjoy getting drunk and hanging all over every guy in the place." I snap. I hate confrontation usually but I hate Molly even more.
"Excuse me?" She says.
"You heard me."
"What's your problem? Are you mad that I kissed Harry because guess what sweetie? I kiss Harry all the time." she says and I feel the blood draining from my face.
I look at Harry and he doesn't say anything. So he has been messing with Molly the entire time? This doesn't surprise me as much as it should. I don't even have a comeback to her, I try to think of something to say back, anything really but I can't. I am sure as soon as I walk away I will think of ten comebacks, but right now I have nothing.
"Let's go inside." Tristan suggests and grabs Molly and Steph by their arms. I try to smile at him to thank him as they begin to walk away.
"You too, Harry. Get away from me." I say and stare at the street.
"I haven't kissed her, I mean lately. Except for tonight. I swear." He says. Why is he saying this in front of them? Molly turns around.
"I don't really give a shit who you kiss. Now leave me alone." I repeat. A huge wave of relief washes over me as I see Liam's car pull up.
"Thanks again." I tell Zayn.
"No problem, don't forget what I asked." he smiles, reminding me of his proposition to take me on a date.
"Tessa.." Harry calls as I step away. I ignore him. "Tessa!" He calls louder.
"What the hell do you want Harry? I have said everything I have to say to you. I am done listening to you and your bullshit!" I scream. I am aware of everyone's eyes on us but I have had enough. "Now leave me the fuck alone!" I scream.
"I.. Tessa, I.." He says, rushing after me.
"You what? You what Harry?" I scream even louder.
"I ..I love you!" He yells. All the air from my lungs disappears as Molly sounds like she is choking and Steph looks like she has seen a ghost.
"You're sick Harry, you're really fucking sick." I grab for the door handle on Liam's car but I am yanked away by Harry. Despite the fact that I know this is part of his game, it still awakens something inside me to hear those words come off his lips.
"It's true, I do. I know you won't believe me but I do, I love you. " He says, his eyes brimming with tears. He is better than I thought. I can't believe he is doing this in front of everyone.
"You expect me to believe that? You wouldn't even tell your friends about us and then you humiliate me in front of everyone and you expect me to believe that?" I shove him backwards and open the door. I lock the door before Harry gains his balance.
"Please drive, just get me away from here." I beg Liam as Harry bangs his hands against the window.
I put my hands over my face so Harry doesn't see me cry as Liam drives away.

"What happened? What was he doing?" Liam asks after I finally stop sobbing.
"He was all over Molly, then he kissed her in front of me, literally five feet away from me." I tell him.
"Did I hear him say that he loves you?" He asks quietly.
"Yea.. I don't know what that was about. He was just trying to cause a scene or something." I still haven't been able to come up with a logical explanation.
"Do you think.. don't get mad at me.. but do you think that maybe he does? You know, love you?"
"What? Of course not. I am not even sure if he even likes me, I mean when we are alone he is so different, and I think maybe he does care about me but then once we get around people he is totally different. But I know he doesn't love me. He isn't capable of loving anyone other than himself." I explain.
"I'm on your side Tessa, I am. But I saw the look on his face as we drove away, he looked heartbroken and you can't be heartbroken if you aren't in love." Liam says. That can't be true, I felt my heart shatter when he kissed Molly but I don't love him.
"Do you love him?" He simply asks.
"No, I don't love him.. he is.. well... he's a jerk. I have known him less than two months, and half of that .. actually all of that time we have spent fighting. You can't love someone after two months of meeting them." My voice comes out strained and my words too quick. "Besides, he is a jerk."
"You already said that." Liam says and I notice the hint of a smile on his lips as he tries to keep his expression neutral.
I don't like the pressure that I feel in my chest as we are talking about me loving Harry. It makes me feel nauseous and the space in the car feels much smaller. I roll down the window a little and lean my head against the window.
"Do you want to come back to my house or your dorm?' He asks. I want to go to my dorm and curl into a ball on my bed but I am afraid that Steph or Harry will show up. The chance of Harry coming to his father's house is so slim, that seems to me the better option.
"Your house, but can we go by my room so I can grab some clothes? I am sorry for asking you to drive me all over." I tell him and mean it.
"Tessa, you haven't asked very much of me. The drive is short and you are my friend, stop thanking me and apologizing to me for driving you." he says sternly but his sweet smile makes me laugh.
He is the best person I have met here and I am so lucky to have him.
"Well let me thank you one last time for being such a great friend to me." I say and he frowns playfully.
"Your welcome, now lets move on." he says and I nod.
I rush around my room to gather a change of clothes and my books. I feel like I never stay in my room anymore. This will be the first night in five days that I will be staying without Harry. I was beginning to get used to it, how foolish of me. I grab my phone out of my drawer and walk back to Liam's car.
When we get to his house it is after eleven o'clock. I am exhausted and thankful that Ken and Karen are asleep when we arrive. Liam puts a pizza in the oven for us and I eat another one of my cupcakes from earlier. Baking with Karen seems like weeks ago, not hours. I have had such a long day and it started so well with my morning with Harry, the internship, and then he ruined it, just like he always does. After we eat the pizza, Liam and I walk back upstairs and he shows me back to the guest room that I stayed in last time. Well I didn't quite stay in there because I was woken up by a screaming Harry. Time hasn't made sense since I met him, everything has happened so quickly and it makes me dizzy to think about the better times we have had. I thank Liam again and he rolls his eyes at me before leaving me and going into his room. I turn on my phone to find many texts from Harry, Steph, and my mom. I delete all of them, except the message from my mother, without reading them. I already know what they will say and I have had enough of it today. I turn my ringtone and text notifications on silent and sit my phone on the nightstand.
I put on my pajamas and climb onto the bed, it is one in the morning. I have to wake up in four hours, tomorrow is going to be a long day. If I wouldn't have missed my morning classes today, I would just stay home, well here. Or go back to my dorm. Why did I convince Harry to come back to Literature? After tossing and turning, I roll over to check the time. It's almost three. Despite the fact that today has been presumably the best, and then worst day of my life, I am too exhausted to even sleep.
Before I realize what I am doing I am standing in front of Harry's bedroom door. With no one around but myself to judge me, I open the second drawer and grab a white t-shirt, I can tell that it has never been worn but I don't care. I pull my own shirt off and replace it. I lay down on the bed and bury my head in the pillow. Harry's minty scent fills my nostrils and I finally fall asleep.
Harry's POV.
"Come on Niall.. just let me use your phone." I beg.
"She didn't answer your number, Steph's number, or Tristan's, she isn't going to answer mine. He tells me. I roll my eyes and snatch his phone out of his hands.
"I'm not calling her." I snap as my fingers dial her number. I know she isn't going to answer by now, but I can't help it. She is too stubborn, she will surely avoid me for days, if she ever speaks to me again When I get her voicemail I hang up and hand Niall back his phone. He retrieves it with a smirk plastered across his face.
"Don't look at me like that." I warn him. He raises his hands defensively and walks away.
I walk back over to the couch where Molly, Steph and Tristan are sitting and plop down on the end.
"Why don't you just go to our room? I am sure she is there studying or sleeping." Steph tells me.
"Or crying" Molly adds. I glare at her. "Chill out, it's not like she is anything to miss, she's a prudish, annoying.."
"Shut the fuck up Molly! Damn, just shut up!" I yell. She jerks away, obviously frightened but I don't give a shit.
"Don't forget what I can do Harry." She says through her teeth.
"I can do things much worse than that Molly, so watch your fucking tongue." I tell her and stand up.
"Give me the key." I demand and hold my hand out while Steph digs in her purse. As soon as it drops into my hand I head to my car. I haven't seen Zayn in at least thirty minutes, he better not be with Tessa.
No one has mentioned my declaration of love for Tessa, they must know better. I don't know what I was thinking calling it out that way, I just couldn't bear to watch her leave thinking that I don't care about her. I love her, and I have loved her since the first time I woke up to find her small arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't even realize what the feeling was when it happened, but I found myself drawn to her in an unexplainable way. I love the way she looks at me, especially when she thinks I am unaware. I love the way she yells at me and rolls her eyes when I make crude remarks to her. She has been there for me despite every horrible thing that I have done to her, in a way that no one else has. I wish I had an explanation to give her for treating her this way or for letting Molly sit on my lap, but I don't. The best thing I can come up with is that I don't know how to deal with the intensity of my feelings for her, I don't like to be vulnerable to anyone and loving Tessa gives her more control over me than I can deal with so I push her away. It won't make sense to her, hell it doesn't even make sense to me but it's all I've got.
As I reach my car, I try to call her one last time. I know she is going to be pissed off when I show up at her room and I hope she screams at me and even slaps me again. I don't care what she does as long as she lets me in. What if Zayn is there with her? I don't see her letting him in her room, but she was so pissed at me that she might do it just to spite me. Images of them kissing flash over and over in my mind, I have never been jealous of anyone in my life. I don't need to be, I always get what I want. Except with Tessa, first I had to deal with her obnoxious high school boyfriend and now I have to worry about Zayn. If only I could tell her how he is, but I can't because I am equally as guilty. If he is in there with her, I won't be able to stop myself from beating the shit out of him, friend or not. I loved the fact that I was one of only two people she has really kissed, and now Zayn has ruined that.
I get to her room and push the key in. The room is pitch black, letting me know immediately that she isn't here. I call Zayn's phone and he doesn't answer. She must really be with him, the idea makes me sick to my stomach. Why do I have to be so fucked up? If I wasn't such a dick she would be laying in bed with me right now, I would be laying in her lap as she runs her fingers through my hair, an action that I have never let anyone do to me before. I walk over to her bed and notice her school books are gone too, I don't see Zayn bringing her by here to get school books. Liam! She is with Liam, she has to be. How the fuck did I not think of that? Jealousy clouds my thoughts and I begin to think of the possibility of Liam and Tessa, I admit on paper they would be perfect together. He seems to really be in love with that girlfriend of his that I don't care enough to remember her name, so I hope he keeps his hands off of my girlfriend.. she could be my girlfriend if I wouldn't have been an asshole when she confessed that she thought she already was.
The drive to my father's house is short and I practically run to the door. It's locked, I could care less about waking them up but I don't want an audience when I find Tessa. I scroll through to a number I thought I would never actually call.
"Hello?" Liam answers, obviously just waking up.
"Hey.. its uhm Harry, I need you to open the front door." I mutter.
"I don't think that is a good idea." He says.
"Come open the door or I will smash the glass and open it myself." I growl.
"Fine, I will be down in a second." he hangs up.
True to his word, he appears at the door within thirty seconds and opens it.
"Where is she?" I ask and push past him into the foyer.
"She is asleep, I don't think you should bother her. She didn't even get into her room until after one." He tells me.
"Where the hell was she before that?" I ask, taking a step closer to him.
"We were eating pizza, relax." he says and walks up the stairs.
"I have to talk to her." I tell him, I don't know why I am even talking to him.
"We both know what is going to happen when you wake her, but if you don't care then fine." Liam says and I open the guest room door across from my room.
I switch on the light, the bed is empty. The blankets are ruffled and her bag is on the chair but the room is empty.
"Did she leave?" I panic.
"No, she couldn't have, I would have heard her and she doesn't even have a car."
If she is walking around alone at three am, I will lose it. My eyes drift to my door behind Liam and I walk past him to open it. The small lamp on the nightstand is switched on and I step on something as I walk into the room. A shirt? Tessa's shirt. She is curled up on her side wearing a white t-shirt, my heart leaps when I see that one of the dressers drawers is open slightly. She is wearing one of my shirts, laying in my bed, hugging onto my pillow with her long hair sprawled out above her head like a halo.
"I found her.' I look to Liam standing in the door way, then back to Tessa. I want to smooth the crease out of her forehead that I know I caused, and kiss the frown off of her full lips. I can't wake her, I have already caused her enough pain today. I turn off the light and walk out of the room to the guest room across the hall.
"You don't deserve her." Liam says quietly.
"I know." I reply.

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