Sunday, 20 May 2018

AFTER ROMANCE Episode 21-25

The streets are dark and quiet once I get away from the frat block. The other frat houses aren't as big as Harry's. There are so many things I don't understand about Harry, why is he in a fraternity with a bunch of preppy, rich kids if he is punk, and why does he go from hot to cold so quickly? I don't know why I even bother to waste my time thinking about him, after tonight I am beyond done trying to be friendly with him. I can't believe I kissed him. That was the biggest possible mistake I could have made and the second I let my guard down around him he attacked, worse than ever. I am not stupid enough to trust that he won't tell anyone but I hope his embarrassment of kissing me will keep him quiet. I will deny it until the grave if anyone finds out.
After an hour and a half of walking, I finally reach the campus. I stop at the coffee house and grab a cup, I might as well stay awake. I need to come up with a good explanation for my mother and Noah for my behavior tonight, not the kissing, they will never know about that, but that I was at a party. Again. I really need to have a talk with Noah about telling my mom things, I am an adult now and she doesn't need to know what I am doing all the time. My legs and feet hurt by the time I reach my dorm and I sigh in relief as I turn the knob. "You've got to be kidding me!" I half scream at the sight of Harry sitting on my bed.
"Where were you?" He asks calmly. "I drove around trying to find you for almost two hours."
"Why the hell would you be looking for me?" I ask in disbelief.
Why didn't he just offer to take me home earlier. More importantly, why didn't I ask him to as soon as I found out he hadn't been drinking? Oh that's right, because there is no way he would have done anything nice for me.
"Because.. because I don't think it is a good idea for you to be walking around at night, alone."
I laugh at his words. He furrows his brows, frowning at me and I laugh harder.
"Get out Harry" I say in between laughs.
I am not laughing because I find this funny, I am laughing because I am too drained to do anything else. He looks at me and runs his hands through his hair. In the little time that I have known this frustrating man that is Harry Styles, I have learned that he does that when he is either stressed or uncomfortable. I hope its both right now.
"Theresa, I am.." He's cut off by pounding on the door.
"Tessa! Theresa Young, you open this door!" It's my mother.
"Oh my god, Harry get in the closet" I whisper and grab his arm yanking him off the bed.
"I am not hiding in the closet, you're eighteen." He says and I know he is right but he doesn't know my mother.
I groan in frustration and she pounds again. I check the mirror, wiping under my eyes and grab my toothpaste, smearing a little on my tongue to conceal the smell of vodka. When I open the door my mother and Noah are standing side by side and my mother looks furious.
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask them as my mom pushes by me and goes straight for Harry.
"This is why you haven't been answering your phone? Because you have this.. this.. tattooed, troublemaker in your room at six am!" She shouts.
My blood boils. I am usually timid and sort of afraid when it comes to her. She has never hit me or anything but she isn't shy when it comes to pointing out my mistakes.
"You aren't wearing that are you Tessa?"
"You should have brushed your hair again Tessa."
"I think you could have done better than that Tessa."
She always puts so much pressure on me to be perfect all the time, its exhausting. Noah just stands there glaring at Harry and I want to scream at both of them, actually all three of them. My mother for treating me like a child, Noah for telling on me, and Harry for just being Harry.
"Is this what you do in college young lady? You stay up all night and have boys in your room? Poor Noah was worried sick about you and we drive all this way to find you being dare I say it, slutty." She says and Noah and I both gasp.
"I just got here, she wasn't doing anything wrong." Harry says and I am shocked.
He has no idea what he is up against. Maybe this will be a good fight, my subconscious grabs a bag of popcorn and sits down in the front row to watch.
"I was not speaking to you, I don't know what someone like you is doing hanging around my daughter anyway."
"Mother." I say through my teeth.
I am not sure why I am defending Harry but I am. Noah looks at me then at Harry and back to me again. Does he know that I just kissed Harry? The memory if fresh in my mind and makes my skin tingle just thinking about it.
"Tessa, you are out of control. I can smell the liquor on you from here. I can only assume that this is the influence of your lovely roommate and him." She says, looking towards Harry.
"I am eighteen mother, I have never drank before and I didn't do anything wrong. I am just doing what every other college student is doing. I am sorry that you drove all the way here but I am fine." I sit down after my speech and she sighs.
"Could you leave us for a minute?" She asks Harry, her voice calmer than it was moments ago.
He looks at me as if asking if I will be okay. I nod and he walks out of the room. Its a strange revelation, me and Harry against my mother and my boyfriend. Somehow I know he will be waiting by the door until they leave.
My mother explains that she is just worried about me ruining my chance at an amazing education and she doesn't want me to drink again. She also tells me that she doesn't approve of my friendship with Steph,Harry, or anyone else associated with them. She makes me promise that I will stop being friends with them and I agree. I don't want to be around Harry after tonight anyway and I won't be going to anymore parties with Steph so there is no way my mother will know if I am friends with her or not.
"Since we are already here, lets go get some breakfast and maybe do some shopping." My mother suggests and Noah smiles.
I nod in agreement, it does sound like a good idea and I am starving. My thoughts are still a little effected by the amount of alcohol I consumed but my walk home and my mother's lecture have sobered me.
"You'll need to clean up a little and change of course" She smiles her condescending smile and I stand up to get some clean clothes out of my dresser. After I change in the closet, I touch up last nights makeup and I am ready to go. When we open the door Harry is sitting on the ground, leaning against the door across the hall. He looks up and Noah grasps my hand.
"We are going to go into town." I tell Harry. I find myself wanting to pull my hand out of Noah's. What is wrong with me?
"Oh, okay." Harry says and for the first time he looks vulnerable and maybe a little hurt. He humiliated you, my subconscious reminds me. I know she is right but I can't help feeling guilty as Noah pulls me along past Harry. My mom gives Harry a fake smile and he looks away.
"I really don't like that guy." Noah says and I nod.
"Me either." I whisper, knowing I am lying.

The breakfast with Noah and my mom is agonizingly slow. My mother continues to bring up my "wild night" last night and finds every opportunity to ask me if I am tired or hungover. Granted, my actions last night were very out of character but I don't want to hear about it over and over. Has she always been this way? I know she just wants the best for me but she seems to be worse now that I am in college, or maybe being away from her for a week has given me a new found outlook on her.
"Where should we shop?" Noah asks and I shrug. I wish he would have just come alone. I would love to spend time with him but not with my mom here. I need to have a talk with him anyway about telling my mom every detail of my life, especially the bad.
"Maybe we should go to the mall around the block, it would be easier. I am not familiar with the area yet." I tell them, cutting the last few bites of my french toast into pieces.
"Have you thought about where you want to work yet?" Noah asks.
"I'm not sure yet, I am going to find a bookstore I think. I wish I could find an internship or something with a publishing house" I tell them and my mother gives me her award-winning proud smile.
"That would be great, then you could work there until you finish college and go right into working" she smiles again.
"Yea, that would be ideal" I try to hide my sarcasm. Noah grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze under the table. As I put my fork into my mouth, the metal reminds me of Harry's lip ring. I need to stop thinking about him. Now. I smile at Noah and pull his hand up to kiss it.
After breakfast my mom drives to the mall. The Vancouver Mall is huge and crowded. "I am going to go into Nordstroms, I will meet you guys after. I will call you when I am ready" My mother tells us and I am relieved. Noah takes my hand again and we browse through multiple stores. He tells me about his soccer game on Friday and how he shot the winning goal, I listen intently and offer him a few comments and praises.
"You look nice today" I tell him and he smiles. His perfect, white smile is adorable. He is wearing a maroon cardigan, khakis and dress shoes. He really does wear loafers. They are cute though and somehow fit his personality.
"You do too Tessa" he compliments and I cringe. I know I look like hell but he is too kind to tell me that. Unlike Harry, who would tell me in a heart beat. Ugh Harry. Desperately wanting to get my mind off of Harry, I stop walking and pull Noah by his cardigan into me. I lean in to kiss him and he smiles, but pulls away.
"What are you doing Tessa? Everyone will be staring at us" He laughs and I shrug.
"So?" I really don't care, usually I would but I need him to kiss me. "Just kiss me please" I practically beg him. He must see the desperation in my eyes because he tilts my chin up and kisses me. His kiss is gentle and slow, no urgency behind it. His tongue barely touches mine but it's nice. It is familiar and warm. I wait for the fire to ignite but it doesn't. I can't compare Noah to Harry. Noah is my boyfriend who I love and Harry is jerk who hooks up with a different girl every weekend.
"What's gotten into you?" Noah teases as I try to push his body against mine. I flush and shake my head.
"Nothing, I just missed you, that's all" I tell him. Oh.. and I cheated on you last night. My subconscious adds. "Could you please stop telling my mom when I do things. It makes me really uncomfortable. I love that you are close to her but I really need you to stop telling on me, i feel like a child when you do that" It feels good to get that off my chest.
"I am sorry Tessa, I was just worried about you. I promise I won't do it again. Honestly" he says and I believe him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead.
The rest of the day is better than the morning, my mom takes me to a salon and I get my hair trimmed and some layers added into it. It still hangs down my back but with my new cut it has more volume and looks much better. Noah showers me with compliments the entire drive back to my dorm. I say goodbye to my mom and Noah, once again promising them to stay away from anyone with a tattoo within a hundred mile radius. I feel a tinge of disappointed when I find my dorm room empty, I am not sure if i was hoping to see Steph or someone else. I don't even bother taking my shoes off before i lay in my bed, I am too exhausted and in need of sleep.
I sleep the entire day and when I wake up Steph is asleep in her bed. We will have to catch up on where she went Saturday and most of Sunday. I stop by the coffee house and grab my usual before heading to my first class. Liam is waiting for me with a smile. We are interrupted by a girl asking for directions and we don't get the chance to catch up until we are walking to our last class of the day. The class that I have been dreading but anticipating all day.
"How was your weekend?" He asks and I groan.
"Terrible actually. I went to another party with Steph" I tell him and he makes a sour face and laughs. "I am sure yours was much better, how is Danielle?"
His smile grows at the mention of her name and I realize that I didn't mention seeing Noah yesterday. Liam tells me about Danielle applying to a ballet company in New York and how happy he is for her. I wonder if Noah's eyes light up when he talks of me like Liam's do as he talks about his girlfriend. he tells me how his father and stepmother were so thrilled to see him and that he did miss him mom while he was gone. His mother must live here or close to here.
"Won't it be hard if she lives so far?" I ask him as we take our seats. Harry's usual seat is empty.
"Well we are already far from each other now and it works. Besides, I want the best for her and if New York is the best thing for her, that's where I want her to be." he says and the professor walks in, silencing us. Where is Harry? He wouldn't skip class just to avoid me would he? We dive into Pride and Prejudice and the class ends too soon.
"You've cut your hair Theresa" I turn around to see Harry behind me. Him and Liam exchange awkward stares and I try to think of what to say to Harry. I hope he won't mention the kiss in front of Liam, he wouldn't would he? Yes, yes he would.
"Hey Harry" I say and he smiles, his dimples deeper than ever.
"How was your weekend?" His expression is so smug. I pull Liam by the arm.
"Good, I will see you around" I yell nervously and Harry laughs.
"What was that about?" Liam asks, obviously catching on to my strange behavior.
"Nothing, I just don't like Harry"
"At least you don't have to see him often." there is something behind his voice. Does he know about the kiss?
"Uhm.. yea. Thank god"
"I wasn't going to say anything because I don't want you to associate me with him, but Harry's dad is sort of dating my mom" he smiles nervously. What?
"What? Harry's dad lives here? Why is Harry here, where is his accent from? If his dad lives here why doesn't he live with him? " I flood him with questions before I can stop myself. He looks confused but less nervous than a moment ago.
"He's from London, his dad and my mom live close to the campus but Harry and his dad don't have a good relationship. Don't mention any of this to him, please. We already don't like each other." he says and a thousand more questions come to my mind but I stay quiet as he goes back to talking about Danielle.

When I get back to my room Steph isn't back yet. Her classes run two hours past mine. While I lay out my books and notes to prepare for my studying tonight, I call Noah. He doesn't pick up, he must be busy. I wish he was here with me at college, it would make things so much easier and comfortable. We could be studying or watching a movie together right now. My guilt about kissing Harry is consuming me, Noah is so sweet and he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. I am lucky to have him in my life, he is always there for me and he knows me better than anyone. We have known each other basically our whole lives. When his parents moved in down the street I was ecstatic to have someone my age to hang out with and even more ecstatic when I got to know him, he was an old soul like me. We spent our time reading, watching movies and bringing life into the green house behind my mom's house. The greenhouse has always been my safe haven, when my dad drank I would hide in there and no one except Noah knew where to find me. The night my dad left was a terrible night for me and my mother refuses to speak of it, ever. It would shatter the perfect façade she has created for herself. Even though I hated him for drinking so much and for pushing my mom around, I still needed him as a father. I could hear the glasses shattering from the greenhouse and when it stopped I heard footsteps. I was terrified it would be my father but it was Noah. I had never been so relieved to see someone in my life and from that day on we were inseparable. Over the years, our friendship turned into more and neither of us have ever dated anyone else.
I text him that I love him and decide to take a small nap before I begin my studies. I pull out my planner and check my work one more time, I can surely fit in a twenty minute nap.
Not even ten minutes into my nap, there is a knock on the door. Steph must have forgotten her key. Of course it isn't her, its Harry.
"Steph isn't back yet" I say and walk back to my bed, leaving the door open for him. Why does he even bother to knock, I know Steph gave him an extra key in case she ever locked herself out. I will have to talk to her about that.
"I will wait" he says and sits down on Steph's bed.
"Suit yourself" I groan and ignore his chuckle as I pull the blanket over my body and close my eyes. There is no way I am going to be able to sleep knowing that Harry is in my room but I would rather pretend to be asleep than face the awkward or rude talk we are bound to have. I try to ignore the sound of him gently tapping the headboard of her bed and my alarm goes off.
"You going somewhere?" He asks and I roll my eyes even though he can't see me.
"No, I was taking a twenty minute nap" I tell him and sit up.
"You set an alarm to be sure your nap is only twenty minutes?" he laughs.
"Yea, I do" What is it to him anyway? All he does is mock me. I grab my books and lay them neatly, in order of my class schedule and stack the notes for each class on top of them.
"Are you ocd or something?"
"No, I just like things a certain way, there is nothing wrong with being organized Harry" I snap and he laughs. I refuse to look at him but I can see him moving and standing up off the bed. Please don't come over here. Please don't come.. and he is standing over me. He grabs my Literature notes and I reach up to grab them, but like the annoying jerk he is he lifts them higher so I have to stand to grab them. He tosses them in the air and they fall to the ground in a scattered mess.
"Pick them up" I demand and he smirks before grabbing my Sociology notes and doing the same. I scramble to grab them before he steps on them and he laughs. "Harry stop!" I yell and he does the same with the next stack. Infuriated, I stand up and shove him away from my bed.
"Someone doesn't like their stuff being messed with" he says, still laughing. Why must he always laugh at me?
"No! I don't!" I yell and go to shove him again. He steps towards me and grabs my wrists, pushing me back against the wall. His face is inches from mine and I am breathing way too hard. I want to scream at him to get off of me and let me go, demand that he picks up my work and puts it back, slap him or make him leave, but I can't. I am frozen against the wall and mesmerized by his green eyes burning into mine.
"Harry, please," I finally find the words.
I'm not sure if I am begging him to let me go or kiss me. My breathing still hasn't slowed and his is increasing. Seconds feel like hours and he removes one of his hands from my wrists but his other hand is large enough to hold both. For a second I think he may slap me but his hand moves up to my cheekbone and he gently tucks my hair behind my ear. I swear I can hear his pulse as he brings his lips to mine and the fire crackles under my skin. This is the feeling I have been longing for since Saturday night. If I could only feel one thing for the rest of my life, this would be it. I don't let myself think about why I am kissing him again or what terrible thing he will say afterwards.
All I want to focus on is the way he let go of my wrists and pressed his body against mine, pinning me to the wall and the way his mouth tastes like mint again. The way my tongue somehow follows his and the way my hands wrap around his broad shoulders. His hands grip the tops of my thighs and he lifts me up, my legs wrap around his waist and I am amazed at the way my body somehow knows how to respond to him. I bury my fingers into his hair, gently tugging at it while he walks back towards my bed, his lips still molded against mine.
My subconscious finds her way in, reminding me that this is a terrible idea but I push her back, I am not stopping this time. I pull Harry's hair harder, earning a moan from him. The sound makes me moan in response, it is the hottest sound I have ever heard and I want to do anything I can to hear it again. He sits back on my bed, still holding me and I am on his lap. His hands stay on my waist, his long fingers dig into my skin but the pain is wonderful. My body begins gently rocking back and forth on his lap and his grip tightens.
"Fuck," he breaths into my mouth and I feel a sensation I have never felt before as I feel him harden against me. How far will I let this go? I ask myself but I don't have an answer.
He hands let go of my waist and find the hem of my shirt, he tugs at it pulling it up. I can't believe I am letting him, but I don't want to stop him. He pulls away from our heated kiss to pull the shirt over my head. His eyes meet mine and go down to my chest, he takes his lip between his teeth seeming to admire my plain black bra.
"You're so sexy, Tess," he says. The thought of dirty talk never appealed to me but somehow Harry saying those words is the most sensual and sexy thing I have ever heard.
I never buy any fancy underwear because no one, literally, no one ever sees then but right now I wish I had. He has probably seen every type of bra there is, the annoying voice in my mind reminds me.
To get the thoughts out of my head, I rock harder against his lap and he wraps his arms around my back and pulls my body to his, our chests touching and the door handle jingles. I push myself off of Harry's lap and grab my shirt. The trance I was in has broken as I throw the shirt over my head.
Steph steps through the door and looks at me and Harry. Her mouth forms an "o" as she takes in the scene in front of her. I know my cheeks are bright red not only from the embarrassment but from the way Harry made me feel.
"What the hell did I miss?" she asks and stares at both of us with a huge grin.
"Nothing" Harry says and stands up. He walks to the door and doesn't look back as he walks out of the room, leaving me panting and Steph laughing.

"What the actual hell was that? You and Harry.. you and Harry are like messing around?" She asks me and covers her face in mock horror.
"No! No way! We aren't messing around" I tell her. Are we? No, we just happened to kiss, twice. And he took my shirt off, and I was basically humping him but we aren't messing around. "I have a boyfriend remember?"
"So, that doesn't mean you can't mess around with Harry. I just can't believe this! I thought you guys hated each other. Well Harry hates everyone but I thought he hated you even more than his normal hatred for people" she laughs. "When did this even.. how did this happen?"
I sit on her bed and run my fingers through my hair. "I don't know. Well Saturday when you left the party I ended up in his room because this creep tried to hit on me and I kissed Harry. We promised to never speak of it again but then he came by today and he started messing with me, not in that way" I tell her after seeing her smirk grow. "Like he was throwing my stuff around and I pushed him and then somehow we ended up on the bed" I tell her. It sounds so bad as I repeat it. I really am acting "slutty" just like my mother said. I out my hands over my face, how could I do this to Noah, again?
"Whoa, that sounds hot" Steph says and I roll my eyes.
"It's not, its terrible and wrong. I love Noah and Harry is a jerk. I don't want to be another conquest of his."
"You could learn a lot from Harry.. you know sexually" she says and my mouth falls open. Is she serious? Is that something she would do.. wait has she? Her and Harry?
"No way, I don't want to learn anything from Harry. Or anyone besides Noah" I tell her. I can't imagine Noah and I making out like that. My mind replays Harry's words "You're so sexy, Tess" he said. Noah would never say something like that. No one has ever called me that before. I feel my cheeks heat as I think about it. "Have you?" I ask her. I have to know if her and Harry have slept together.
"With Harry? No, well I haven't had sex with him but we had a little fling when we first met as embarrassing as that is to admit. But nothing came from it, we were sort of friends with benefits for about a week" she says like it's no big deal. I can't help the jealousy that stirs inside me.
"Oh.. benefits?" I ask, my mouth is completely dry and I find myself suddenly annoyed by Steph.
"Yea, nothing too big. Just like a few heavy make out sessions, a grope or two. Nothing serious" she says and my chest hurts. I am not surprised really, but I wish I wouldn't have asked.
"Does Harry have a lot of friends with benefits?" I don't want to hear the answer but I can't help but ask.
"Yea, he does. I mean not like hundreds but he's a pretty.. active guy" She says and I can tell she is sugar coating it for my sake. I make the mental decision for what feels like the hundredth time to stay away from him. I will not be anyone's friends with benefits. Ever. "He doesn't do it to be mean or use girls, they pretty much throw themselves at him and he lets them know from the start that he doesn't date" she defends him. I remember her telling me that before.
"Why doesn't he date?" Why can't I stop asking these questions?
"I don't know really.. he just doesn't. I think you could have a lot of fun with Harry, but I also think this could be dangerous for you. Unless you know you will never develop any sort of feelings for him I would stay away. I have seen a lot of girls fall for him and it's not pretty" her voice is full of concern.
"Oh, trust me I do not have feelings for him. I don't know what I was thinking" I laugh and hope it sounds genuine because it definitely isn't.
"Good, so how much trouble did you get into with your mom and Noah?" She laughs and sits down on her bed across from me.
I tell her all about my mom's lecture, minus the part about me promising not to be friends with her anymore. We spend the rest of the night talking about classes, Tristan, and everything I can think of besides Harry.
The next day Liam and I meet at the coffee house before class to compare notes for Sociology. It took me an hour to get all my notes in order from Harry's annoying stunt yesterday. I want to tell Liam about it but I don't want him to think badly of me and especially now that I know Liam's dad and Harry's mom live together that would be awkward. Liam must know so much about Harry, I keep reminding myself not to ask him questions about him. I don't care what Harry does. The day flies by and finally it is time for Literature. Harry is in his normal seat next to mine but he doesn't look my way at all.
"Today will be our last day on Pride and Prejudice, I hope you all have enjoyed it, for today's discussion we will be talking about Austen's use of foreshadowing. As a reader, did you expect her and Darcy to end up together in the end?" Professor asks and I raise my hand as always. Liam and I are always the first to answer, and usually the only.
"Miss Young" he calls on me.
"The first time I read the novel I was on the edge of my seat to see whether they would end up together. Even now, as I have read it at least ten times I still feel anxious during the beginning of their relationship. Mr. Darcy is so cruel and says hateful things about Elizabeth and her family so I didn't know if she would forgive him, let alone love him." I answer and smile.
"That's a load" A voice says. Harry's voice.
"Mr. Styles? Would you like to add something?" The professor asks, clearly surprised at Harry's participation.
"Sure. I said that's a load. Women want what they can't have. Mr. Darcy's rude attitude is what drew Elizabeth to him, it was obvious they would end up together." Harry says and picks at his fingernails as if he isn't the slightest bit interested in the discussion.
"That isn't true, about women wanting what the can't have. Mr. Darcy was only mean to her because he was too proud to admit he loved her. Once he stopped his hateful act she saw that he really loved her" I say, much louder than I intended. As I look around the room everyone is staring at me and Harry.
"If he loved her he wouldn't have been mean to her. The only reason he even ended up asking for her hand in marriage was because she wouldn't stop throwing herself at him" he says and my heart drops. I get the feeling he is no longer talking about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth.
"She did not throw herself at him! He manipulated her into thinking he was kind and took advantage of her weakness!" I scream and the room goes silent. Harry's face is flushed with anger and I can't imagine mine looks much different.
"He manipulated her? Try again, she is...I mean, she was so bored with her boring life that she had to find excitement somewhere so she was certainly the one throwing herself at him!" He yells back, his hand gripping the desk.
"Well maybe if he wasn't such a man whore he could have stopped it after the first time instead of showing up to her room!" After the words leave my mouth I know that people have caught on to us. Snickers and gasps are heard throughout the room.
"I think that's enough for today" The professor says and I grab my bag and run out of the room.
"You don't get to run this time Theresa!" I hear Harry's voice yell as I reach the corner of the block. He grabs my arm and I jerk away.
"Why do you always touch me like that? Grab my arm again and I will slap you!" I scream. I am surprised at my harsh words towards him but I have had enough of his crap.
He grabs my arm again but I don't follow through on my promise to slap him.
"What do you want Harry? To tell me how desperate I am? To laugh at me for letting you get to me again? I am so sick of this game with you, I won't play it any longer. I have a boyfriend and you are a terrible person. You really should see a doctor and get some medication for your mood swings! I can't keep up with you. One second your nice then you're hateful. I want nothing to do with you so do yourself a favor and find another girl to play your games because I am done!"
"I really do bring out the worst in you don't I?" he asks, I expect him to be smiling or laughing but he's not. If I didn't know any better I would think he was.. hurt? But I do know better and I know he couldn't care less. "I am not trying to play games with you." he says and runs his hand over his head.
"Then what are you doing because your mood swings give me whiplash" I snap. A small crowd has gathered around us and I want to curl into a ball and disappear but I have to know what he will say next. Why can't I stay away from him. I know he is dangerous and toxic for me. I have never been so mean to someone as I am to Harry. He deserves it I know, but I don't like being mean to anyone. Harry grabs my arm yet again and pull me between two buildings, away from the crowd.
"I.. I don't know what I am doing. You kissed me first remember?" he reminds me again.
"Yea.. I was drunk remember. And you kissed me first yesterday"
"You didn't stop me. It must be exhausting" he says. What?
"What must be exhausting?"
"Acting like you don't want me when I know you do" he steps closer.
"I do not want you. I have a boyfriend" The words tumble out too fast, making him smile.
"That you're bored with. Admit it Tess, not to me, but to yourself. You're bored with him. Has he ever made you feel the way I do?" His voice is much lower and he is talking even slower than usual.
"W..What? Of course he has" I lie.
"No.. he hasn't. I can tell that you've never been touched.. in that way" The words send that now familiar burn through my body.
"That's none of your business" I say and back away, making him take three steps towards me.
"You have no idea how good I can make you feel" he says and I gasp. How does he go from yelling at me to this? And why do I like it so much?

I have no words. Harry's tone and dirty words make me weak, vulnerable, and confused. I have become a rabbit in a fox's trap.
"You don't have to admit it, I can tell." He says, his voice is so arrogant but all I can do is shake my head. His smile grows and I back against the wall. He takes a step towards me and I back against the wall. Not again.
"Your pulse has quickened hasn't it? Your mouth is dry, you have that feeling.. down there. Don't you Theresa?" Everything he is saying is true and the more he talk to me like this, the more I want him. It's a strange feeling to want someone and hate them at the same time. The attraction I feel to him is purely physical which is strange considering how opposite he is from Noah. I don't remember ever being attracted to anyone except Noah.
I know that if I don't say something now, he will win.
"You're wrong." I mutter and he smiles. Even his smile sends electricity through me.
"I'm never wrong." he says and I move away from the wall before he can push me against it.
"Why do you keep saying I throw myself at you if you're the one corning me now?" I ask, my anger pushing past my lust for this maddening tattooed boy.
"Because you made the first move on me, don't get me wrong I was as surprised as you were." he laughs.
"I was drunk and had a long night, as I already told you. I was confused because you were being nice to me, well your version of being nice." I say and sit down on the curb before I end up against the wall. Talking to him is so exhausting.
"I am not that mean to you." he says, the statement sounds more like a question than a comment.
"Yea, you are. You go out of your way to be mean to me. Not just me, but everyone. It just seems like you are extra hard on me." I can't believe I am being this honest with him. I know its a matter of minutes before he turns on me.
"That's just not true. I am no meaner to you than the rest of the general population." he smirks and I stand up. I knew I couldn't have a normal discussion with him.
"I don't know why I keep wasting my time!" I yell as I am walking away from him.
"Hey, I am sorry. Just come back over here."
I groan but my feet move before my brain can catch up. I stand a few feet away from him and he sits on the curb where I was previously sitting.
"Sit" he demands and I do.
"You're sitting awfully far" he says and I roll my eyes. "You don't trust me?"
"No, of course I don't, why would I?" His face falls slightly as my words hit him but he recovers quickly. Why would he care if I trusted him?
"Can we just agree to either stay away from each other or be friends? I don't have it in me to keep fighting with you." I sigh and he moves a little closer.
He takes a deep breath before he speaks. "I don't want to stay away from you." What? My heart beats out of my chest.
"I mean.. I don't think we can stay away from each other, with one of my best friends being your roommate and all. So I suppose we should try to be friends." I try to hide my disappointment from his words but this is what I want right? I can't keep kissing Harry and cheating on Noah.
"Okay so friends?"
"Friends." He agrees and reaches out his hand for me to shake.
"Not friends with benefits." I remind him and feel the blood rush to my cheeks.
He chuckles and plays with his eyebrow ring as he speaks. "What makes you say that?"
"Like you don't know, Steph already told me."
"What about me and her?"
"You and her, and you and every other girl." I try to fake a laugh but it comes out as a cough. He raises his eyebrow at me but ignore him.
"Well me and Steph.. that was fun." He smiles as if remembering something and I swallow the vile rising in the back of my throat.
"And yea, I have girls that I fuck but why does that concern you?" He is so nonchalant about the whole thing while I am in shock. Hearing him admit to sleeping with other girls shouldn't bother me but it does. He isn't mine, Noah is. Noah is. Noah is. I remind myself.
"It doesn't, I just don't want you to think that I will be one of those girls."
"Aww.. are you jealous Theresa?" He mocks me and I shove him. There is no way in hell I will ever admit that.
"No, absolutely not. I feel sorry for the girls." I say and he laughs.
"Oh, you shouldn't. They enjoy it, trust me."
"Okay, okay. I get it. Change the subject please." I groan and lift my head back to look at the sky. I need to clear the image of Harry and multiple girls out of my mind. "So will you try to be nicer to me?"
"Sure. Will you try not to be so uptight and bitchy all the time?"
"I am not bitchy, you're just obnoxious." I start laughing and he joins in.
It's a nice change from screaming at each other in class. I know we haven't really resolved the big issue here which is the feelings that I may or may not have for him, but if I can just get him to stop kissing me, I can focus back on Noah and stop this terrible cycle before it gets worse.
"Look at us, two friends." his accent is so appealing when he isn't being rude.
Hell, even then it is but when his voice is soft his accent makes it so much softer, like velvet. The way words roll of his tongue and through his pink lips.. I can't think about his lips. I tear my eyes away from his face and stand up. Wiping my skirt off.
"That skirt really is dreadful Tess, if we are going to be friends you need to not wear that anymore."
For a second I am hurt but when I look up at him he is smiling. This must be the way he jokes, still rude but I will take this over the malicious way he usually behaves.
My phone starts to vibrate, it's my alarm going off. "I need to get back and study."
"You set an alarm to study?"
"I set an alarm for a lot of things, it's just something I do." I hope he lets this go.
"We should do something fun tomorrow after class." he offers.
Who is this and where is Harry?
"I don't think my idea of fun is the same as yours." I can't even imagine what 'fun' is to Harry.
"Well we will only sacrifice a few cats, then we will burn down a few buildings.." I can't stop the giggle from escaping and he smiles back.
"Really though, you could use some fun and since we are new friends we should do something fun." I need a few moments to contemplate whether I should be alone with Harry before I answer him.
Before I answer he turns to walk away, "Good, I am glad you agree. I will see you tomorrow." He says and he's gone.
I don't say anything back, I just sit back down on the curb. My head is spinning from the last twenty minutes with Harry. He basically offered me sex, telling me I have no idea how good he could make me feel. Then, a few minutes later he was agreeing to try to be nice to me, we were laughing and joking and it was nice. There are still so many questions I have for him, like why he is the way he is, but I know the more I know about him the worse this will be. I can be friends with Harry, like Steph is, okay not like Steph but like Niall or one of their other friends. This is really the best thing, no more kissing, no more sexual advances from him, just friends. As I walk back to my room, I try to shake the fear that I just walked into another one of his traps.
To be continued..


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