Friday, 29 December 2017

The Delicate Episode 22

22th Law Of Power : Use The Surrender Tactic. Transform Weakness Into Power.
I stare at myself for the third time today, I still don't see any resemblance in this girl in front of the mirror with the girl before her birthday party. I look different, completely different and I hate this girl am seeing right now. I have decided not to go to school today nor tomorrow being Friday. I have to set some things straight here or I might not get the chance to do so ever again. Am going to tell Chima what's been going on, I just hope he believes me.
“ Ama are you not going to school? ” I heard my mum's voice behind me. I must have fazed out cause I didn't hear her walk in. My mum is beautiful, really beautiful and she has a nice figure that can make any man wants her. What exactly did my dad sees in me and not in her?
“ Ama why are you staring at me like that? And what happened to your mouth, did you get hit? Are you okay? ” she asked, staring at me weirdly. She's tall, fair and has a very nice skin so what's the attraction? What's the difference and why me?
“ Amarachi kee ifeo?” ( what is it)
“ huh? Oh... Is... No.. thing ” I stuttered. I sure sounds like a clumsy girl to her right now but seriously I want to figure something out.
Her boobs are bigger than mine, same thing goes to her hips then there is her long leg. Plus the fact that she's more beautiful and elegant too. What then did he see in me cause seriously I don't see any competition here. I stare at her again, she must really think that I'm loosing my mind. Well yes I am loosing my mind. Am seriously loosing it here cause I just don't understand what is going on. Why me?
“ Do you want to see a doctor? ” I stare at her blankly. Huh? A doctor? What the hell will a doctor do for me? Do I seriously need a doctor and what kind of doctor could that be? What I said next shocked not just her but me too.
“ yes mum! I want to see a doctor, a therapist, a psychologist or anything you call it! ” I retorted. Letting my tears flow freely. I bit a sob, I just can't break down in front of her right now. Did I just say "see someone? " Well yeah... May be I really need to see someone. I heard that this doctors keep whatever you discuss with them confidential so just may be I need to talk to someone about this then hear what they have to say. An advice won't be that bad for a start.
‘“ wait I didn't mean that kind of a doctor, I meant a doctor to check your mouth cause you're hurt." Huh? I don't need a doctor for my jaw. It doesn't hurt as much as the pain I feel in my heart right now.
“ mum I don't want that kind of a doctor, I want to see a therapist ” I stated. "
"Are you sure? Are you okay? You know you can talk to me right? so tell me what's wrong? What's really going on with you dear?”’ she asked, looking really confuse and worried too.
"mum am fine. May be I just need to see someone, may be I need help but not from you.
“ okay princess. We will see someone.”
“ mum not us, just me not with you. ”
“ okay fine I will take you to someone. She's new here in Anambra state, and she's one of the best in the world. Do you want to see her? ” she ask, looking really worried. I must have really scared her. I just need help.
“ yes mum, I want to see her today. Right now mum! ” I don't want to stay in this house but I don't want to go to school neither. I need some where I can always be, always find rest but not here.
“ okay. Dress up and come down for breakfast then we will go later ” she said.
“ thanks mum. This really means a lot to me. ” I smiled painfully at her.
“ anything you want dear. You know we love you right and all we want is for you to be fine so get ready ” I nodded my head at her. I watch her walk out of my door with one prayer in my heart. “ I hope this goes well ”
* * * * *
I stared at this woman my mum had left me with. After breakfast, my mum had took me to this place. It looks so huge both from outside and inside and to my surprise, my mum said that the said therapist owns it and not the government or is it a joint esterblishment. I had pleaded with her that she shouldn't tell dad that am seeing a therapist or phycologist. Anything she calls it. At first she disapproved but with my constant pleading, she agreed. Now here I am, facing this strange woman who some how looks familiar and that gives me a sense of belonging. May be she's nice and not bad like most doctors. Amarachi! Doctors are not bad remember?
I kept on staring at her weirdly, with only one question in my head. Can I really open up to this woman? A total stranger or should I just go back? The moment I woke up this morning, I had already decided to talk to someone but is she the right person? Will she tell my mum or anyone? She's suppose to keep everything about her clients confidential right? God what am suppose to do now and she's not making things any easier by staring at me weirdly like that.
She's looking at me like she's trying to figure me out or something. Can she read my mind or what? I hope this goes well cause am really trying to take a bold step here by opening up to someone. I hope am doing the right thing but of cause, am doing the right thing. Am sure about this and am going to start talking now. Is now or never! I can't keep calm for ever and right now, am going to tell her everything cause my redemption starts now.
“ are you done? Since you have come to a conclusion to tell me what brought you here then let's begin but let's start from introduction first. ” the doctor said.
What the heck! How did she know what I was thinking? “ huh? ”
* * * * *


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