Friday, 22 December 2017

Oga Titus Episode 8

****2weeks later****
Pipipipipipipipipipipi,a car was horning in front of Titus shop.
Chinedu: Titus,that woman don come again
Titus:Y you con dey tel me
Chinedu: Go know wetin she want na
Titus:Abeg I no dey for dat one
Chinedu: She fit one beg you
Titus:Mtcheeeew…You sure?
Chinedu: Yes na
Titus:If she no beg me nko
Chinedu: You go remain a vulcanizer
Titus:Idiot
Titus went to meet her frowning his face.
Titus:Yes,madam wetin you want
Madam: Its me o,it’s me Laura
Titus:I no say na you.Just tel me wetin you want
Laura:No vex about the other day
Titus:Ehn!!Madam…eerm…Lawra you say make I no vex
Laura:Yes no vex..Am sorry
Titus:You sure?
Laura:Yes m sure
Titus:Okay,as you don tel me sorry I no vex again. Bye bye
Laura:Ah ah…Titus, calm down na
Titus:Calm down for wetin again.. You don tel me sorry already so wetin happen again
Laura:I wan take you out
Titus:Abeg I no dey go anywhere,I dey on duty
Laura:Please just do it for me
Titus:Hmmmm…na bcos I like you o..You go wait for me make I go change cloth
Laura:Where
Titus:For my house na..
Laura:Oh God
Titus:If you no fit wait carry your wahala dey go o,I no hold you
Laura:I go follow you go your house.
Titus:That place no be for your type, remember you say I no be your type.
Laura: Am sorry na
Titus:Oya make we go…..Nedu I dey com o
Nedu:Bros,no wahala (thank God o)
They went to his house to change then she took him for shopping.. They bought clothes, shoes,phone,etc.They also went to an eatery, this time she didn’t bother about the way Titus was eating and He was happy…After eating, instead of Titus to go to his shop and meet Nedu he took her to his house and trust Igbo guys na,he laid her that evening and am sure she enjoyed it coz we Igbo guys are good at what we do (Igbo’s in the house,true or false).She gave him 5k before leaving and Titus was happy bcoz he hasn’t held up to 5k before,they kissed before she went home.
*****8pm,that same day*****
Chinedu came back from work shop…
Chinedu: Guy so you don come since I con dey wait 4 u
Titus:Who you dey follow talk,come sidon.I no be ur mate again.
Chinedu sat down on the bed,thats the only tangible thing in the room.
Chinedu: Ngwa gist me how e go na…
Titus:(he brought all the clothes out)Chinedu, my life don dey change o.See levels na,from now dey call me Oga Titus you hear?
Chinedu: (saluting like an officer)Yes sir
Titus:See dis one (throwing it on Nedu)I dash you poverty.
He picked another cloth and threw it at him saying na poverty I dey give you, if dem say I no go make am dey don lie.He picked all the clothes and threw at him(Nedu).
Chinedu: She buy shoe 4 you sef.
Titus:Before nko.
He picked the shoe and started hitting it on Chinedu head saying ‘make I no see your leg for this shoe o’.
Chinedu: Abegi e don do..Person no go hear word again bcos you get new new things abi.My own be say marry am fast fast make I benefit too,you hear?
Titus: I don hear… Wetin person go chop this night
Chinedu: I nor know o.Na 350n I make today
Titus:That na nonsense.. Come make we go chop pepper soup jareeh
Nedu:Ehn,where you see money
Titus: You dey chop abi you no chop..If you dey chop follow me buh if you no wan chop sidon 4 there dey ask me Ajuju (question).
Titus left and Chinedu followed suit immediately after weighing the questions.
Titus:Why you dey follow body na
Nedu:Abeg make we dey go joor.
They arrived at a beer parlor and ordered for 2plates of pepper soup and 2 bottles of 33 export each.
Madam Uche is the owner of the beer parlor and she knows Titus very well.
Ma Uche:Ah ah Titus wetin happen
Titus:As how
Ma Uche:You of all people dey buy pepper soup today
Titus:Madam Uche,you dey see me as small boy bcoz I get small body abi?
Ma Uche:No o
Nedu:Madam Uche,Titus don become big Oga o
Titus:Tell am,make she know
Ma Uche:Is that so?
Nedu:Yes o
Ma Uche:Na im be say you go dey set to service me tonight
Titus:Mba Mba (no no) I no dey do that one again, I don change
Ma Uche:Ehhh,make I hear word.. You wey like toto pass anything
Titus:Eeeh,I no dey do anyhow Toto again. Anybody wey get smelly Toto my tin no go enter again
Ma Uche:You dey craze..E be like say this drink don dey work your head make I leave you to enjoy.
Titus:Good better bester (instead of best)..Go and no come o for thus sayeth Oga Titus..
She left their table and went to attend to other customers.. Titus and Nedu ate until dey were filled then they went back home and slept..
******DURING THE NIGHT******
Tadadadatadada…tadadadada…tadadadatadadada…tadadadada…phone continued ringing and Nedu woke up.
Chinedu: Ehn,wetin dey sing(scared) Titus Titus,wake up joorh
Titus:Ehn,wetin happen
Chinedu: You no dey hear wetin dey sing?
Titus:Chineke,na winch o (scared)
Chinedu quickly moved towards him and wanted to cross over the other side where Titus was and Titus started screaming ‘na 14yrs na 14yrs.’ (Hope you understand).
Chinedu: You dey craze?Wetin be 14yrs?I no fit pass over person again?
Titus:No vex na,I think say you wan..phone started to ring again
Chinedu: Which kind tin be this na..Who know maybe na winch that girl carry give you.
Titus:Waka (showing him five fingers in the face)
Nedu:Jesus,see light wey dey shine for there
Titus:Ooooooh….Na my phone dey ring na
Nedu:So na phone con dey sing
Titus:Village boy.
He went to where he kept the phone and picked it but by then it has stopped ringing..
Tbc

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