Friday, 22 December 2017

Oga Titus Episode 7

Titus:Ehn,Laura where you dey go.. Com gimme transport money o and thank God say you don pay for wetin I dey chop.
Laura:Don’t you ever call my name, you are not my type…Just an illiterate, that’s who you are.
Titus:Na me you dey call illiteracy..No problem but con give me money for transport..
Laura left Titus and Titus didn’t know what to do,he was angry with his friend Chinedu for putting him in such mess.He stood up and started thinking on how he will trek home..
Titus:So na legging tinz be this…chai,my body go hear am today…Well every disappointment,oyibo people talk say na blessing,make I kukuma dey waka but make I finish this wine..In fact make I carry am dey waka,at least e go do for life support.
He started trekking home, 1hr he was still on the road.
Titus:Chai,Egyptian journey… Na Egyptian journey, see sun.Kai,the food wey I chop I don use m trek..Water dey hungry me oooo and the wine don finish..Na God go punish women…I go advice every man say make e no dey trust any woman again.. You wey dey read me,hope you don hear,women dem dey…dem dey…chai,e get the word wey oyibo people dey call am..e be like say na deceit…deceitfool
He was just lamenting aloud and ppl were looking at him like he’s mad…Coz Under the scorching sun he’s putting on suit and trekking again with a wine bottle in his hand..
Meanwhile, Chinedu was getting worried, he wasn’t expecting Titus to stay thiz long.
As he was thinking, he sighted his friend from afar and was like who is this man..
Titus was getting closer to the shop when he fainted…
Chinedu: Aaah,ewooo..Titus wetin do you na,wake up…wake up abeg,wetin she do you? Abi Una f--k wey you con taya?Abeg no do like dis na,wake up…
He ran inside and brought a bucket of water…Waaaaa on Titus body
Titus:Why you pour me water na
Chinedu: You faint na
Titus:Who faint,abi you smoke?
Chinedu: Why you con lie down 4 road
Titus:Thunder go fire you.. You see condition wey you put me, Date am date am,na opportunity to get rich..Now you see am
Chinedu: Wetin happen na
Titus:Chaiiiii…Women…Women…Women
Chinedu: Wetin do dem
Titus: Hair….Women… Mtcheew…hair condition
Chinedu: Wetin concern air condition with question I ask you
Titus narrated his ordeal to Nedu and Nedu laughed at him.
Nedu:Bush man
Titus:You dey craze…No tel me to toast am again o.
Nedu:Na ur problem.
*****Chief house*****
Laura:The guy I went out with is a psycho
Lara:What?! A psycho??
Laura:You need to see how he was eating(demonstrating)
Lara:Jeeeeez,nawa o…that one no be human being o,na village boy e bi
Laura:He’s a poor guy
Lara:A poor guy?Ah ah a poor guy in a bank?
Laura: I lied
Lara:Meaning
Laura:I lied about the guy I went to see
Lara:Nawa for you o..So is he someone I know?
Laura:Yea…that vulcanizer, Tites
Lara:What a funny name, Titus
Laura:Am done with that guy
Lara:Not fair o,you can still change him or rather bring down your level to his
Laura:What rubbish, am done with him and thats final.
Lara:Kai,see opportunity for husband
Laura:Husband that has no better work. In our current economy someone is doing vulcanizing work and you think you won’t suffer in his home?
Lara:Are you asking me?Wait,lemme ask the people reading it..
People o,if someone marries a vulcanizer in thiz BUHARI’S time.Will there be suffering in that home??
to be continued…

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