Thursday, 7 December 2017

Friends With Benefits Episode 9

By the morning I had made up my mind that I would have to stop things with Jackson. Jeez I sounded like I was breaking up with him. However, I knew we couldn't keep doing this though. I couldn't keep sleeping with Jackson . I couldn't risk our friendship anymore.
I followed Emily as we made our way down to the entrance hall of the school where we would meet the rest of the students. It was only the second day since resumption yet I felt like we had been here a week already.
"Have a good class today?" Jackson's voice emerged from the crowd of students. I looked up to see Jackson sitting on the seat in front of me.
"It would have been better if you were there," I joked as George took the seat next to Jackson.
"Oh you don't have to tell me babe, I already know that," George butted in.
"You wish Georgie," I smirked.
"Well I don't have to, you can come to my room tonight," George smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"The only reason she will come to our room is to see me," Jackson comment, his confident smirk returning.
"Hate to break it to you Jackson but it's never going to happen," I giggled
The whole cafeteria filled with students.
My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket so I dug around in my bag until I found it. I giggled quietly as I read the new message from Jackson,
'Hate 2 break it 2 u, but you already did #wink '
However, before I could reply it hit me. I would never be with Jackson again. I knew I was going to miss it, which was probably a bad thing seeing as we were meant to be best friends and I obviously wasn't meant to be enjoying this as much as I was. But I was and I couldn't help how I felt. I couldn't help that I loved every time Jackson touched me. The way he looked at me before his lips touched mine.
I flicked my eyes out the window as I stuffed my phone back into my bag, without responding to the text. The rain was pattering lightly on the window .
"You looked a bit lonely," Jackson's voice whispered as he rested his head on my shoulder and slipped his arms round my torso.
"Can't keep away can you?" I chuckled.
‘“not when my sleeping beauty look worried ”’ he half joked and half looked serious which really scared me cause he looked more serious than joking.
"Not when I know what will be happening tonight," I teased. I couldn't see his face but I knew from the tone of his voice that he was smirking. I sighed as I realised now was as good a time as any to tell Jackson. I hated that I had to do this but it was the right thing. I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.
I turned around so I was facing Jackson . "Look about that..." I started. Jackson's eyebrows immediately pulled together into a frown as he slipped my hands into his. "I think we should stop," I mumbled, the words not wanting to leave my mouth. I don't know why I was so reluctant to stop. I knew it was going to stop sooner or later so why did it matter that it was a bit sooner than I planned.
"What?" Jackson asked a confused expression plastered on his face.
"I think we should just go back to being best friends," I muttered, my eyes firmly fixed on the floor.
"Why?" Jackson asked as his grip on my hands tightened and a flash of an emotion I couldn't quite understand crossed his eyes. Almost like he was upset.
"I don't know," I mumbled not sure how to explain what I was feeling.
"If you don't know then why can't we continue? I mean you enjoy it, don't you?" He asked, looking a little bit hurt.
"Yeah, but I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place," I whispered, hoping he would follow my example because I didn't want anyone else to hear this conversation.
"Why not? Why are you suddenly regretting this? What has changed since yesterday?" He questioned his voice angry.
"Because I realised how wrong this is!" I snapped, we agreed at the beginning that if one of us wanted to stop that would be okay. Why was he making this so much more difficult than it had to be?
"It's not wrong!" Jackson challenged, "Please, just think about it," he begged, pulling me closer so he could look straight into my eyes.
"There is nothing to think about Jackson!" I was aware that I was practically shouting at Jackson now, but I didn't care. "I don't want to do it anymore! Why can't you just accept it?"
"Because I don't want to alright," he sighed.
"Well it's not all about you," I countered angrily.
"You shouldn't have agreed to this if you were just going to back out!" He growled, his face contorted in anger.
"We only agreed until the end of our birthday month!" I shouted, my eyes glazing over with unshed tears.
This was exactly the reason I wanted to stop. I couldn't lose him as a best friend yet that is exactly what seemed to be happening right now.
"You know what just fuck this!" Jackson cried angrily before storming towards the doors of the cafeteria just as the opened. He marched out without even looking back.
I stood still. Frozen to the spot. I was trying to save our friendship yet somehow I had managed to ruin it. I thought I was doing the best thing. I didn't do anything when the tears started flowing down my cheeks. I didn't do anything when Emily came over. I didn't do anything. I just stood there.
"Jenny , come on," Emily cooed as she dragged me out of the cafeteria and back into the rain. Even though my legs were moving slowly I didn't respond to her questions. I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I was in complete shock. Jackson and I had fought before but never like this. Never had he stormed away and left me. We would always resolve it. It would always be okay. However, I got the feeling that somehow this wouldn't be.
"Jenny , what happened?" Emily whispered, as she looked me straight in the eyes and held my hands in hers, just like Jackson had a few minutes ago. Jackson. That's all I could think of. Jackson and the hurtful things that he had said.
"Jackson," That was all I managed to croak, my throat dry, my tears stained by shed tears.
"What did he do?" She continued as we filed back on the bus which would take us to our next destination. I barely noticed the confused stares I received as I took my seat on the bus. I barely heard the whispers of fellow students about the fight seen between Jackson and I.
"I told him I didn't want to anymore and he just freaked out," I managed to stutter, tears still falling down my cheeks.
I finally seemed to wake from my daze.
"What?" Emily asked, her eyebrows knitting together in an angry expression.
"I told him I wanted to stop," I sniffed, sobbing quietly.
"And he got angry at you?" Emily growled, "That son of a bitch," she muttered under her breath.
I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't think about Jackson and I not being best friends anymore. Sobs wracked my body as Emily wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her chest.
I barely heard Emily's rant about how stupid Jackson was due to my loud sobs. I didn't care about the fact that the whole bus could probably hear me wailing. I didn't care about the fact Emily was ranting about how much of an idiot Jackson was. None of those things mattered. Nothing mattered, except Jackson . Jackson was the only one I cared about at this point.
Soon I became aware that Emily's rant was no longer directed at me but down her mobile. I sat up from her chest to see her shouting down the phone to Jackson.
"You son of a bitch! Jackson I swear to god I am going to kill you." She paused while I assumed Jackson spoke. "I don't want to hear it; my best friend is sitting here in tears because of you! Don't you even care?" She said, her voice becoming softer with the last sentence.
I pressed my ear to the phone so I could hear his answer. Did he care? Because right now he really wasn't acting like he did.
"Of course I fucking care! She is my best friend! The problem is I care too much!" He shouted, I was surprised the rest of the students couldn't hear him.
"What do you mean you care too much?" Emily asked, suddenly sounding very interested.
"I don't know, I just..." he mumbled, obviously not sure how to finish his sentence.
"You just like her?" Emily tried to finish.
I sighed as I took my ear away from the other side of the phone. Why did Emily always have to bring it back to that?
I leant my head against the window, wiping my red eyes and hoping my make-up wasn't too smudged but knowing it was.
A couple of minutes later Emily hung up the phone, a small smile on her face.
"What?" I groaned.
"Nothing," she shrugged, just as the bus pulled up at our next stop: the theatre.
This afternoon we were spending it at the theatre watching Hairspray the musical.
"That was amazing!" I chirped as I strode out of the theatre, Emily beside me and Maddy close behind.
"I want to go again!" Maddy squealed from behind us just as the cool air hit us.
"OMG it was totally amazing!" George joked in a very camp voice. I couldn't help but laugh as he started walking beside Maddy.
"I knew you'd love it Georgie," I teased, "You love a bit of Link," I giggled.
"Hell yeah I do!" He chirped as he squeezed in-between Emily and I and flung his arms around our shoulders. "Who doesn't love a bit of Link?" He added.
"I'm more of a Walter girl myself," I laughed.
"We all know how you love the older men," George chuckled.
We kept talking about the show as we walked to the bus which was waiting down the road from the theatre. We were going out to dinner and then back to the apartment . Once we had climbed on to the bus I took a seat near the back of the bus, expecting Emily to sit next to me, however, George slumped into the seat next to me.
"Um.." I started, frowning slightly.
"Don't worry, Emily wanted to sit next to Jackson anyway," George answered without me even having to answer the question.
"Okay," I shrugged, not wanting to start a conversation about Jackson. The show had been a good distraction for everything that had happened earlier.
"So..." George started and I immediately knew where he was going.
"Just spit it out George," I sighed.
"What happened with you and Jackson? He won't say anything but we all saw you fighting earlier. "
"Does it really matter?" I asked, finally looking up at George.
"Yes! I have never seen Jackson so upset before," George said. I sighed, why was Jackson so upset? I didn't understand why this was such a big deal.
"Look we had a fight, it'll blow over," I lied, looking intently at the ground.
"Why do I somehow not believe that?" George muttered.
"Because you're stupid," I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"I am hurt by that!" George cried, pressing his hand to his heart. "But look, you really need to talk to Jackson," he continued in a much more serious voice.
I sighed again, knowing he was right.


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