Tuesday, 22 May 2018

AFTER ROMANCE Episode 61-65

The next morning I wake up before Harry and manage to roll him off of me and untangle our legs without waking him. The memory of him breathing my name in relief and all the secrets about himself he disclosed to me makes my stomach flutter. He was so unguarded and open last night, it made me care for him even more. The depth of my feelings for him scare me and I am not ready to face them yet. I get my curling iron and small bag of Steph's makeup I borrowed, with her permission of course, and walk down to the bathroom to get ready and brush my teeth. The hallway is empty and no one knocks on the door while I get ready. I'm not as lucky as I make my way back to Harry's room. Three guys walk down the hall, I recognize one of them as Louis.
"Hey Tessa!" he chirps and flashes me his perfect smile.
"Hey, how are you?" I ask politely. I feel awkward with the three of them staring at me.
"Good, just on our way out. Are you like moving in here or something?' He laughs.
"No, definitely not. Just uhm.. visiting." I have no clue what to say. The tall guy bends down and whispers something into Louis' ear but I can't make out what it is so I look away.
"Well, I will see you guys later." I say.
"Yea, see you tonight at the party." Louis says and walks away. What party? Why wouldn't Harry mention a party to me? Maybe he doesn't plan on being here? Or maybe he doesn't want you to come. My subconscious adds. Who throws a party on a Tuesday anyway. When I reach Harry's door it opens before I reach the handle.
"Where were you?" He says and opens it wide enough for me to walk in.
"Doing my hair, I wanted to let you sleep." I tell him.
"I told you not to be wandering the halls Tessa." he scolds me.
"And I told you not to boss me around, Harry." I add sarcastically and he chuckles, his features softening.
"Touché" He laughs and steps closer to me. He places one of his hands on the small of my back and puts the other under his shirt onto my stomach. His fingers rough with calluses, but gentle on my skin, move higher and higher on my stomach.
"However, you really should wear a bra when you're roaming the halls of a fraternity house Theresa." He brings his mouth to my ear the exact moment that his fingers find my breasts. He rubs over the sensitive area with his thumbs, making them harden under his touch. He sucks in a sharp breath and I am frozen but my heart is racing.
"You never know what kind of perverts are lurking in the halls" he breathes softly into my ear. His fingers swirl around my nipples, before he pinches them lightly between his thumb and forefinger. My head falls to his chest and I am unable to control my moans as his fingers continue their gentle assault.
"I bet I could make you come just by doing this." he says and applies more pressure. I had no idea that this could feel this..good. I nod and Harry chuckles, his mouth against my ear.
"Do you want me to do that? Make you come?" he asks and I nod again. Does he even have to ask? My heavy breathing and shaky knees should give it away.
"Good girl, now lets move to the .."he begins, my alarm on my cell phone interrupts.
"Oh god! We have to leave in ten minutes Harry and you're not even dressed. I'm not even dressed!" I pull away and he shakes his head and pulls me back to him. This time pulling my pants and panties down my legs. He reaches over and shuts my phone off.
"I only need two minutes, that leaves eight to get dressed." he says and lifts me off the floor, taking me over to the bed. He sits me down on the edge, kneels in front of me, and pulls me by my ankles to the edge.
"Spread your legs baby." he coos and I oblige. I know this wasn't on my schedule for this morning, but I can't think of a better way to start my day. His long finger traces up my thighs and he holds me down with one hand. His head dips down and he licks up and down my core once before puckering his lips and sucking. Its that spot again, oh lord. My hips buck off the bed and he pushes me back down and continues to hold me down. Using his other hand, he inserts a finger into me, pumping faster than ever before. I can't decide if his fingers or him sucking feels better, but the combination is mind-blowing. Within seconds I feel that burn in the pit of my stomach and he pumps his finger faster.
"I'm going to try two okay?" He says and I moan in approval. The feeling is strange, like the first time and uncomfortable but he places his lips back on me and sucks again, making me forget about the subtle pain. I whimper as Harry removes his mouth once more. "Shit, you're so tight baby." His words alone are going to send me over the edge.
"You okay?" he asks. I grab him by his curls and push his face down. He chuckles and then attaches his lips again.
I moan his name and pull his hair as I experience my strongest orgasm. Not that I have had many, but this one was definitely the quickest and strongest. Harry places a small kiss on my hip bone before standing and walking to the closet. I lift my head and try to catch my breath. He walks back over and wipes me off with a t-shirt, I would be more embarrassed if I was fully coherent.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to brush my teeth." He smiles and exits the room. I stand up and get myself dressed and check the time. We have three minutes until we have to leave. When Harry returns, he quickly gets dressed and we leave.
"Do you know how to get there?" I ask as he pulls out of the driveway.
"Yea, my father's best mate from university is Christian Vance." he tells me.
"Oh..wow." I knew Ken had a connection there but I didn't know the CEO was his best friend.
"Don't worry, he's a nice guy. A bit of a square but nice, you'll fit right in." His smile is contagious. "You look lovely by the way." he praises.
"Thank you, you seem to be in a good mood this morning." I tease.
"Yea, having my head between your thighs this early in the morning makes for a good day." he laughs and takes my hand in his.
"Harry!" I scold him and he laughs once more. The drives goes quickly and in no time we are pulling into a parking lot behind the large building. Vance Publishing House is a six story building with mirrored glass sides and a large V placed on the front.
"I'm nervous." I admit to Harry as I check my makeup on the mirror.
"Don't be, you will do fine. You are so smart and he will see that." Harry assures me. I love when he is nice like this.
"Thank you." I say and lean across to kiss him. It is a sweet and simple kiss.
"I'll be in the car waiting for you." He says and kisses me again.
The inside of the building is just as elegant as the outside. When I reach the front desk, I am instructed to go to the sixth floor. I reach the desk on the sixth floor and give the young man my name. He flashes his perfect white smile at me before walking me to a large office.
"Mr. Vance, Theresa Young is here." He says and I am waved in by a middle aged man with a beard. His green eyes can be seen from across the room as he walks towards me and shakes my hand. His smile is comforting and relaxes me as he tells me to have a seat.
"It's very nice to meet you Theresa. Thank you for coming." Christian Vance greets me.
"Tessa, call me Tessa. Thank you for having me." I smile.
"So, Tessa you are a freshman English major?" He asks and I nod.
"Yes, sir." I answer.
"Ken Styles gave you a great review, says I would be missing out if I didn't give you an internship" he smiles.
"Ken is a very kind man." I say and he nods, rubbing his beard with his fingers.
He asks me to name my favorite and least favorite authors and explain why I feel that way. He nods and hums through my explanation and when I finish he smiles.
"Well Tessa, when can you begin? Ken has agreed to have your schedule altered so you can be here three days a week and take classes on campus, the other two." he says and my mouth falls open.
"Really?" Is all I can say. This is beyond expectations. I had assumed I would have to take night classes and come here during the day IF I got the offer.
"Yes, and you will also receive credit hours towards your degree for your time spent here."
"Thank you so much. This is such an amazing opportunity, thank you again." I can't believe how lucky I am.
"We will discuss your pay Monday when you start."
"Pay?" I had assumed it would be an unpaid internship. This really is the best day of my life.
"Yes of course you will be paid for your time." he smiles and I nod. I am afraid if I open my mouth I will thank him for the thousandth time.
I practically run to the car and Harry climbs out as I reach the car.
"Well?" He asks and I squeal.
"I got it! It's paid and I will be here three days a week and school two days and I get college credit and he was so nice and your dad is wonderful for doing this for me, and you too of course. I am just so excited and I.. well I guess that's it." I laugh and he wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tight and lifting me into the air.
"I am happy for you." he says and I bury my fingers into his hair.
"Thank you." I say and he puts me down. "Really, thank you for driving me and waiting in the car."
He assure me that it is no problem as we both climb into the car.
"What do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?" Harry asks.
"Go back to school of course, we can still make it to literature"
"Really? We could find something much more fun to do."
"No, I have already missed too many classes this week, I don't want to miss anymore. I am going to Literature and so should you." I smile. He rolls his eyes but nods in agreement. We make it just in time for Literature and I gush to Liam about the internship. He congratulates me and gives me a tight hug. Harry rudely makes gagging noises behind us and I kick at his leg.
After class Harry walks out with Liam and I as we discuss the details for the bonfire this Friday. We agree that I will meet Liam at his house at five for dinner then we will go to the bonfire at seven. Harry stays quiet during our discussion and I wonder if he will accompany me. He told me before he was going to the bonfire, but I believe that was only to compete with Zayn. Liam tells me goodbye as we reach the parking lot.
"Styles!" Someone calls. We both turn around to see Niall and Molly walking towards us. Great, Molly. She is wearing a tank top and a red leather skirt. It's only Tuesday, she should save the skanky outfits for the weekends.
"Hey" Harry says and takes a step away from me.
"Hey Tessa" Molly smiles. I return her greeting and stand awkwardly as Harry and Niall exchange hellos.
"You're ready right?" Niall asks him and it becomes clear that Harry told them to meet him here. I don't know why I had assumed we would hang out again, it's not like we can spend every day together. Even though I wish we would.
"Yea, I'm ready." Harry tells them and looks at me. "See you around Tessa" he casually says and turns to walk away from me. Molly looks back at me with a smirk on her makeup covered face as the three of them climb into Harry's car, Molly in the passenger seat. While I stand on the pavement and wonder what the hell just happened.

During my walk back to my room I realize how foolish I have been expecting Harry to be different than before. I should have known better. I should have known that this was too good to be true. Harry kissing me in front of Liam, Harry being nice and wanting "more", Harry telling me about his childhood. I should have known that as soon as his friends came along he would go right back to the Harry that up until two weeks ago, I despised.
"Hey girl! You coming tonight?" Steph asks as I walk in the room. Tristan is sitting on her bed staring at her in the adoring way I wish Harry would stare at me.
"No, I am going to study" I tell her. It's nice to know that everyone was invited yet Harry didn't see it fit to invite me. Probably so he could hang out with Molly with any distractions.
"Oh come on! It will be fun. Harry will be there" She smiles and I force one back to her.
"Really, it's okay. I need to call my mom and catch up with her and plan my assignments for next week."
"Lameeee!" Steph teases and grabs her purse. "Suit yourself. I'll be out all night so if you need anything let me know." she says and hugs me goodbye.
I call my mother and tell her about my internship, of course she is beyond pleased by my amazing opportunity. I leave Harry out of the explanation but I do mention Ken, but I say he is Liam's soon to be stepfather which is true. She asks about Noah and I but dodge her questions. After listening to her talk about her new co-worker whom she believes is having an affair with her boss, we get off the phone. My mind immediately goes back to Harry, as always. My life was much more simple before met Harry, and now after.. it is complicated and stressful and I am either extremely happy or there is this burning in my chest when I think of him with Molly.
I will go insane if I just here and it's only six o'clock by the time I give up trying to study. Maybe I should go for a walk? I really need some more friends. I grab my phone and call Liam.
"Hey Tessa!" his voice is friendly and soothes some of my anxiety over Harry and Molly.
"Hey Liam, are you busy?" I ask him.
"No, just watching the game. Why is something wrong?"
"No, I was just wondering if maybe I could come over and hang out.. or maybe if your mom doesn't mind maybe I could take her up on those baking lessons." I laugh.
"Yea of course you can come over. I know she would love that, I will let her know you're coming." he says.
"Okay, the next bus isn't for thirty minutes but I will be there as soon as I can." I tell him.
"Bus? Oh yea, I forgot you haven't found a car. I will come get you."
"No, really it's okay. I don't mind taking the bus, I don't want you to go out of your way."
"Tessa, its less than ten miles. I'll leave now." he says and I finally agree.
I grab my purse and check my phone one last time. Of course he hasn't text or called me. I hate the way I feel dependent on him, especially when I obviously can't depend on him. Liam comes to get me and I turn my phone off. If I leave it on, I will go crazy checking it every few minutes. I should just leave it here. I walk over and sit it in my top drawer before I walk out and lock my door. I sit down on the curb and wait for Liam to pick me up. Minutes later he pulls up and honks lightly, I jump off the curb from the surprise and we both laugh as I climb in the car.
"My mother is going insane in the kitchen right now so be prepared for a very detailed baking lesson." He laughs.
"Really? I love the details!" I joke.
"I know you do, we are alike that way." he tells me and turns on the radio. I hear the familiar sound of one of my favorite songs.
"May I turn this up?" I ask and he nods.
"You like The Fray?" He asks in a surprised tone.
"Yes! They are my favorite band, I love them. Do you like them?"
"Yes! Who doesn't?" he laughs. I almost tell him Harry doesn't but I decide against it.
When we arrive to the house, Ken greets us at the door with a friendly smile. I hope he wasn't expecting Harry to be with me. I see no disappointment on his face so I smile back.
"Karen is in the kitchen, enter at your own risk." He laughs.
He wasn't joking, Karen has the entire large island covered in pans, mixing bowls, and a lot of other things that I have no idea what they are.
"Tessa! I am just getting everything ready!" She smiles.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" I ask.
"No, not at the moment. I am almost finished. ..There I'm done."
"I hope it wasn't too late of notice for me to come by." I tell her.
"Oh no dear, you are always welcome here." She assures me and I know she means it. She hands me an apron to wear and I tie my hair up into a bun. Liam sits on the bench and talks to us for a few minutes while Karen shows me all the ingredients to make cupcakes from scratch. I pour them into the mixer and turn it on low speed.
"I already feel like a professional baker." I laugh and Liam leans across, wiping his hand across my cheek.
"Sorry, you have some flour on your face." His cheeks flush and I smile.
"It's okay." I tell him and go back to pouring my cupcakes into the baking pan. Liam leaves the room to finish the football game. Karen and I ice our cupcakes and I am pleased with the way mine turned out. I use the piping bag to make an "L" on the top of one of them and sit it aside for Liam. Karen expertly pipes flowers and grass onto her cupcakes.
"We will make cookies next time." She smiles and places the cupcakes in a serving case.
"Sounds good to me." I tell her and take a bite of my cupcake.
"Where is Harry tonight?" Karen asks. I chew my cake slowly before answering.
"He's at his house." I simply answer. She frowns slightly but doesn't push it.
Liam joins us back in the kitchen and Karen leaves the room to take a few cupcakes to Ken.
"Is this cupcake for me?" Liam asks and holds up the cupcake with the squiggly L written in icing.
"Yea, I have to work on my piping skills." I laugh and he takes a big bite.
"Tastes good." he says with a full mouth. I giggle and he wipes his mouth.
I eat another cupcake and Liam talks about the game. My mind travels to Harry again and I stare out the window.
"Are you okay?' Liam pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Yea, I'm sorry. I was paying attention.. at first." I smile apologetically.
"It's alright. Is it Harry?"
"Yea.. how'd you know?" I tease.
"Where is he?"
"At his frat house, there is a party tonight and he didn't tell me about it. He had his friends meet him and he said see you around Tessa, when he said goodbye to me. I feel like an idiot even repeating this, I know how stupid I sound but it's driving me crazy. The girl Molly, he used to mess around with her, all the time and she is with him now, and he didn't tell them we are.. whatever we are." I breathe.
"Aren't you two supposed to be dating?" Liam asks.
"Yea.. well I thought so but I don't know now."
"Why don't you try to talk him? Or go to the party?" He suggests and I laugh.
"I can't just go to the party."
"Why not? You've been to their parties before and you and Harry are sort of dating or whatever this is, and your roommate will be there. I would go if I was you."
"Really? Steph did invite me, I don't know." I want to go just to see if Harry is with Molly but I feel stupid just showing up there.
"I think you should."
"Will you come with me?" I ask.
"Oh no, no. Sorry Tessa. We are friends but no." he laughs and I join. I knew he wouldn't but it was worth asking.
"I think I will go. At least to talk to him." I decide.
"Good, I would wipe the flour off your face first." he laughs and I gently push his arm.
I stay a little while longer to hang out with Liam, I don't want him to think I was just using him for a ride to the party, even though I know he doesn't think that.
"Good luck, call me if you need me." He says as I get out of the car. After he drives away I remember that I left my phone in my room to avoid worrying about Harry, yet here I am showing up at his house.
A group of scantily clad girls are standing in the yard and I look down at my outfit. I am wearing jeans and a cardigan, I barely have any makeup on and my hair is in a bun on top of my head. What the hell was I thinking coming here? I swallow my anxiety and walk inside. I don't see any familiar faces except Louis who is doing a body shot off of a girl wearing only a bra and panties. I walk through the kitchen and someone hands me a red cup full of alcohol, I put the cup to my lips. If I am going to confront Harry I need alcohol. I push my way through the crowded living room to the couch that their group usually hangs out on. Molly's pink hair comes into vision. I feel sick as I notice she isn't sitting on the couch, she is sitting on Harry's lap. His hand is on her thigh and she leans back against him, laughing amongst her circle of friends. How did I get myself in this situation with Harry? I should have stayed away from him, I knew it then and I am slapped in the face with it now.
I should just leave, I don't belong here and I don't want to cry in front of these people again. I am sick of crying over Harry and I am done trying to make him something he isn't. Every time I think I feel as low as I can, he does something else and I realize I have no idea the real pain that unrequited feelings can cause. I watch as Molly puts her hand over Harry's and he moves it away, but then puts his hand on her hip, giving her a playful squeeze and she giggles. I try to force myself to move, to back up, to run, to crawl, to do anything to get me out of here, but my eyes are locked on the boy I was falling for while his eyes are locked on her.
"Tessa!" Someone calls. Harry's head snaps up and his green eyes meet mine. His eyes are wide with shock and Molly looks my way and leans further onto Harry. His lips part as if he is going to say something but he doesn't.
Zayn appears at my side and I finally force my eyes from Harry's. I try to muster a smile for Zayn but all of my energy is being used to prevent myself from bursting into tears.
"Do you want a drink?" He asks and I look down. I was holding a cup of beer wasn't I? At my feet is my cup, the beer spilled across the carpet. I take a step away from it, I normally would clean it up and apologize but right now I would rather just pretend it wasn't mine.
"Yes please" I say, my voice is strained. I have two options, I can run out of here in tears and let Harry know he got the best of me, or I can put on a brave face and act like I don't care about him and the way he is still holding Molly on his lap.
I decide to go with option two.

"Cool, lets get you a drink." Zayn smiles and walks into the kitchen. I follow behind, mentally psyching myself up so I can get through this party. I wanted to stop over and curse Harry out, tell him to never speak to me again, slap him and rip Molly's pink hair out of her head. However, he would probably find that amusing, so I decide to gulp down the entire cherry vodka sour that Zayn made me and ask for another. Harry has ruined too many of my nights, and I refuse to be that girl.
"Woah, slow down killer. You already drank two!" Zayn laughs as I hold my cup out for another drink within minutes.
"It tastes really good." I laugh and lick the remaining cherry flavoring off my lips.
"Well, lets just take it slow on this one, yea?" he smiles and I agree.
"I think we are about to play another round of truth or dare." He informs me. What is with these adults and their annoying games of truth or dare? I thought people stopped playing those ridiculous games when they were in high school. The pain in my chest returns as my mind goes over all of the things Harry and Molly may have been dared to do.
"What did I miss during the last round?" I ask him with my best flirty smile that I can manage. I probably look insane but he smiles back so it seems to work.
"Just some drunk people sucking face, the usual." he laughs. The lump in my throat rises but I swallow it back down with my drink. I give a fake laugh and continue to drink out of my cup as we make our way back to the couch. Zayn takes a seat on the floor diagonal from Harry and Molly's spot on the couch and I sit down next to him, closer than I usually would but that's the point. Harry's eyes draw to slits but I ignore him. Molly is still perched on his lap like the whore she is, and Steph gives me sympathetic smile and glances towards Harry. The vodka is beginning to take its effect as Niall's turn comes.
"Niall, truth or dare?" Steph asks and Niall smiles.
"Truth." he answers and she rolls her eyes.
"Pussy" she says. Her colorful language never ceases to surprise me. "Is it true that you pissed in Tristan's closet last weekend?" She asks and they all start laughing except me. I have no clue what they are talking about.
"No! I already told you guys that wasn't me!" He groans and everyone continues to laugh. Zayn looks over and winks at me in the middle of his laughter. Geez he is hot. Really hot.
"Tessa, you playing?" Steph asks and I nod. I look up at Harry and he is staring at me. I smile at him and look back at Zayn. The frown on his face takes a little of the pressure off my chest. He should feel as terrible as I do.
"Okay, truth or dare?" Molly asks. Of course she would be the one to ask me.
"Dare." I bravely say. God knows what she will have me do.
"I dare you to kiss Zayn." She says and a few gasps and chuckles are heard.
"We already know how she feels about kissing people, pick something else." Harry says through his teeth.
"Actually, it's fine." He wants to play, we can play.
"I don't think.." Harry starts to say.
"Shut up Harry." Steph says and gives me a knowing smile.
"I can't believe I agreed to kiss Zayn, even though he is one of the most attractive people I have ever seen, I have only really kissed Noah and Harry, Johnny from elementary school doesn't count.
"You sure?" Zayn asks. He is trying to act concerned but I can see the excitement in his perfect features.
"Yea, I am sure." I answer and take another drink before sitting it next to me. Everyone's eyes are on us as Zayn licks his lips and leans in to kiss me. His lips are cold from his drink and I can taste the sweetness of the cherry juice on his tongue. His lips are soft, yet hard against mine and his tongue moves expertly with mine. I feel the heat rising in my stomach, not nearly as hot as with Harry, but it still feels good. Zayn's hands move to my waist and we both move up to our knees.
"Okay.. damn she said kiss, not fuck each other in front of everyone." Harry says and Molly tells him to shut up. Harry looks mad, beyond mad. But he brought this upon himself. Part of me had assumed he would have Molly get off his lap by now, but he hasn't.
I pull away from Zayn and feel my cheeks flush as everyone stares at us. Steph gives me a thumbs up and I look at the ground. Zayn looks very pleased and I feel embarrassed but thrilled with Harry's reaction.
"Tessa, your turn to ask Tristan." Zayn says. Tristan chooses dare so I give him the least creative dare and have him take a shot.
"Zayn truth or dare?" Tristan asks as he chases his shot. I down the rest of my drink, the more I drink, the more numb my emotions become.
"Dare." Zayn answers and Steph whispers something in Tristan's ear.
"I dare you to take Tessa upstairs for ten minutes." He says and I choke on my breath. This is too much.
"That's a good one!" Molly says and laughs at my expense. Zayn looks at me as if asking me if I'm okay with it. Without thinking, I stand up and grab Zayn's hand. He looks as suprsied as everyone else but he stands up with me and grips my hand.
"This isn't part of truth or dare, this is.. uhm well it's fucking dumb." Harry says.
"Why does it matter? They are both single and it's all in good fun, so why do you care?" Molly asks him.
"I.. I don't care. I just think it's stupid." Harry answers and my chest hurts again. He obviously had no plan on telling any of his friends that we are .. were.. whatever we were. He has been using me this entire time, I am just another girl to him and I was foolish, beyond foolish to think otherwise.
"Well good thing it's none of your business Harry." I snap and pull Zayn by the hand.
"Burn!" Damn!" I hear a few voices say and Harry cuss at them as we walk away from them. We find a random bedroom right up the stairs and Zayn pulls the door open and turns the light on. Now that I am away from Harry, I a beginning to feel much more nervous being alone with Zayn. No matter how angry I am at Harry, I don't want to mess around with Zayn, well I wouldn't say I don't want to, but I know I shouldn't. I am not that type of girl.
"So what do want to do?" I squeak.
He chuckles a little and leads me to the bed. Oh lord.
"Let's just talk, yea?" He says and I nod and look down at the floor.
"Not that I wouldn't love to do many other things with you, but you're intoxicated and I want you to be fully aware of what's going on. I don't want to take advantage of you." He tells me and I gasp.
"Surprised?" He beams and I laugh.
"A little." I admit.
"Why? I'm not a jerk, like Harry." he says and I look away again. "You know, I thought you and Harry had something going on for a little bit."
"No.. we are just.. well we were friends but not anymore." I don't want to admit how stupid I was for believing Harry's lies.
"So are you still seeing your boyfriend from high school?" He asks. I am relieved to stop talking about Harry.
"No, we broke up."
"Oh, that's too bad. He was a lucky guy." he smiles. He is so charming. I find myself staring into his caramel eyes, his eye lashes are fuller than mine.
"Thanks." I flush and he smiles wider.
"Maybe I could take you out sometime? On a proper date? Not into a bedroom at a frat party." he laughs nervously.
"Uhmm.." I don't know what to say.
"How about I ask again tomorrow when you're sober?" He is much nicer than I thought he would be. Usually guys as attractive as him are jerks, like Harry.
"Deal" I agree and he takes my hand again.
"Let's go back down." He suggests and I nod. When we walk back downstairs Harry and Molly are still on the couch, but Harry has a drink now and Molly has her legs draped over him from the side, instead of sitting on his lap. Harry's eyes dart down to Zayn and I's intertwined hands, I jerk away without thinking but then grab his hand again. Harry clenches his jaw and I look away.
"How was it?" Molly smirks.
"Fun." I answer and Zayn stays quiet. I will thank him later for not correcting me.
"It's Molly's turn." Niall announces as we sit back on the floor.
"Truth or dare?" Harry asks her.
"Dare of course." She tells him. He looks right into my eyes and says, "I dare you to kiss me."
My heart stops, literally. It stops beating, he is a bigger asshole than I ever imagined. My ears are swimming and my heart is pounding as a boastful glance is shot by way by Molly before she latches herself to Harry. All the anger I feel towards Harry is washed away and replaced by hurt, its all consuming and I feel the hot tears on my face. I can't watch anymore, I am on my feet and pushing past the drunk crowd within seconds. I hear Zayn and Steph both call after me and the room feelings like it's spinning and when I close my eyes all I can see is Molly and Harry. I finally reach the door and the fresh air fills my lungs and brings me back to reality. How could he be so cruel? I run down the stairs on the sidewalk, I have to get away from here. I wish I would have never met him, I wish I would have had a different roommate, I even wish I would have never came to WSU.
"Tessa!" I hear and I turn around, convinced I am imagining it until I see Harry running after me.

I force my feet to move faster, I have never been very athletic but my adrenaline is in full effect. I reach the end of the street and I begin to tire. Where the hell am I going to go? I don't remember the path that I walked back to my dorm last time and I stupidly left my phone in my room.
"Tessa stop!' Harry yells again. I stop. I stop dead in my tracks. Why am I even running from him, he needs to explain why he keeps playing games with me. "What did Zayn say to you?" What?
When I turn around to face him he is only a few feet away, due to the shocked expression he holds, I know he didn't expect me to stop.
"What Harry! What could you possibly want from me?" I scream. My heart is pounding from running and from him breaking it.
"I.. " He seems to be at a loss for words for once. "Did Zayn say something to you?"
"No.. why would he?" I take another step forward so I am face to face with him, well I would be if he wasn't so much taller than me. My anger is rolling off of me.
"I'm sorry okay?" He says quietly. He looks into my eyes and reaches his hand out to take mine but I swat it away. He ignores my question about Zayn but I am too mad to care.
"You're sorry? You're sorry?" I repeat, my voice comes out in a laugh.
"Yea, I am."
"Go to hell Harry." I begin to walk away, he grabs my arm again and my anger boils over. My hand flies up and smacks him, hard. I am surprised by my violent actions as he is and I almost want to apologize for hitting him, but the pain he has caused me is much more than a slap on the cheek.
He rubs his cheek with his hand and looks back to me. "What the hell is your problem you were the one kissing Zayn!" He yells. A car passes and the driver stares but I ignore it. I don't care about causing a scene right now.
"You're not seriously trying to blame me? You lied to me and played me like a fool Harry! Just when I thought I could trust you, you humiliate me! If you wanted to be with Molly why not just tell me to leave you alone? Instead, you feed me that bullshit about wanting more and beg me to stay the night with you just so you can use me! What was the point what did you get out of it, oh besides a blow job!" I scream, the word tastes odd coming out of my mouth.
"What? You think that's what I am doing? You think I am using you?" He shouts.
"No, that's not what I think Harry, that is what I know. But guess what? I'm done, I am so beyond done. I will move rooms if I have to so I don't have to see you again!" I say and mean it.
"You're overreacting." he states and it takes everything in me not to slap him again.
"I'm overreacting? You didn't tell your friends about us, you didn't tell me about this party, then you left me standing in the parking lot like a dumbass while you left with Molly out of all people! Then I show up here to find Molly on your lap, and then you kiss her. Right in front of me Harry. So my reaction is justified." I say, my voice much quieter, exhausted. I wipe the fresh tears from my face and wait for his response.
"You kissed Zayn right in front of me! And I didn't tell you about the party because I don't have to! You wouldn't have wanted to come anyway, you would have been too busy studying or watching the damn paint dry" he hisses.
"So why even waste your time with me? Why even follow me out here Harry?" He doesn't say anything. "That's what I thought, you thought you could come out here and say sorry and I would stay a secret, you're boring little hidden girlfriend. You're wrong, you took my kindness for weakness and you were sadly mistaken."
"Girlfriend? You thought you were my girlfriend?" He almost laughs. The pain in my chest is magnified by a thousand.
"No.. I." I start to say. I don't know what to say.
"You did, didn't you?" he laughs.
"You know.. I did." I admit. I am already humiliated so I have nothing to lose. "You fed me that bullshit about wanting more and I believed you. I believed all the shit you said to me, all the things you claimed to never tell anyone, that was all bullshit too. I am sure none of that even happened. But you know what? I'm not even mad at you, I am mad at myself for believing it. I knew how you were before I started to fall for you, I knew you would hurt me. What were your words, 'You'll destroy me?' Congratulations Harry, you won." I sob. Pain flashes in his eyes, well what looks like pain. It is probably humor.
I no longer care about winning or losing or playing these exhausting games with him. I turn away from him again and begin to walk back towards the house, I will have to find someone's phone to use to call Liam or get directions to the dorms.
"Where are you going?" He asks. It hurts that he doesn't have anything to say, he has offered me no explanation. He has only confirmed what I already knew, that he is heartless.
"Back to the house, I need to use someone's phone to call Liam." I walk faster, only a few more houses until his.
"Liam? Why would you call Liam?"
"Because I can depend on him"
"You can't depend on me?" He asks. He can't be serious.
"Are you really that crazy or are you just playing with my head again? You can't possibly think I could ever depend on you or even trust you." I spit. We are back to the steps in front of the house and I spot Molly's pink hair outside. "Aww look, she is waiting for you. You two really are perfect for each other."
"It's not like that and you know it." He says.
"I don't know anything, obviously." I snap and take two steps at a time.
Zayn appears in the doorway and I rush to his side. "Can I use your phone? Please?" I beg and he nods.
"Are you okay? I tried to go after you, but you were long gone." he says and I nod. Harry stands in front of Zayn and I while I call Liam and ask him to pick me up. Zayn and Harry stare at eachother for a second before Zayn looks away and back down at me.
"Is he coming?" Zayn asks, his voice full of concern.
"Yea, he will be here in a few minutes. Thank you for letting me use your phone." I tell him, ignoring Harry.
"No problem, do you want me to wait with you?" He asks.
"No, I will wait with her." Harry's voice is full of venom.
"I would love if you could wait with me, Zayn." I say and Harry balls his fists at his sides. I walk back down the steps with Zayn. Harry being the asshole that he is follows us down the steps and stands behind us awkwardly. Steph, Tristan and Molly walk down the steps to us.
"Are you okay?" Steph asks and I nod.
"Yea, I am leaving though. I shouldn't have even come here." I say and she hugs me.
"You got that right.'' Molly says under her breath.
"You are right, I shouldn't be here. I don't enjoy getting drunk and hanging all over every guy in the place." I snap. I hate confrontation usually but I hate Molly even more.
"Excuse me?" She says.
"You heard me."
"What's your problem? Are you mad that I kissed Harry because guess what sweetie? I kiss Harry all the time." she says and I feel the blood draining from my face.
I look at Harry and he doesn't say anything. So he has been messing with Molly the entire time? This doesn't surprise me as much as it should. I don't even have a comeback to her, I try to think of something to say back, anything really but I can't. I am sure as soon as I walk away I will think of ten comebacks, but right now I have nothing.
"Let's go inside." Tristan suggests and grabs Molly and Steph by their arms. I try to smile at him to thank him as they begin to walk away.
"You too, Harry. Get away from me." I say and stare at the street.
"I haven't kissed her, I mean lately. Except for tonight. I swear." He says. Why is he saying this in front of them? Molly turns around.
"I don't really give a shit who you kiss. Now leave me alone." I repeat. A huge wave of relief washes over me as I see Liam's car pull up.
"Thanks again." I tell Zayn.
"No problem, don't forget what I asked." he smiles, reminding me of his proposition to take me on a date.
"Tessa.." Harry calls as I step away. I ignore him. "Tessa!" He calls louder.
"What the hell do you want Harry? I have said everything I have to say to you. I am done listening to you and your bullshit!" I scream. I am aware of everyone's eyes on us but I have had enough. "Now leave me the fuck alone!" I scream.
"I.. Tessa, I.." He says, rushing after me.
"You what? You what Harry?" I scream even louder.
"I ..I love you!" He yells. All the air from my lungs disappears as Molly sounds like she is choking and Steph looks like she has seen a ghost.
"You're sick Harry, you're really fucking sick." I grab for the door handle on Liam's car but I am yanked away by Harry. Despite the fact that I know this is part of his game, it still awakens something inside me to hear those words come off his lips.
"It's true, I do. I know you won't believe me but I do, I love you. " He says, his eyes brimming with tears. He is better than I thought. I can't believe he is doing this in front of everyone.
"You expect me to believe that? You wouldn't even tell your friends about us and then you humiliate me in front of everyone and you expect me to believe that?" I shove him backwards and open the door. I lock the door before Harry gains his balance.
"Please drive, just get me away from here." I beg Liam as Harry bangs his hands against the window.
I put my hands over my face so Harry doesn't see me cry as Liam drives away.

"What happened? What was he doing?" Liam asks after I finally stop sobbing.
"He was all over Molly, then he kissed her in front of me, literally five feet away from me." I tell him.
"Did I hear him say that he loves you?" He asks quietly.
"Yea.. I don't know what that was about. He was just trying to cause a scene or something." I still haven't been able to come up with a logical explanation.
"Do you think.. don't get mad at me.. but do you think that maybe he does? You know, love you?"
"What? Of course not. I am not even sure if he even likes me, I mean when we are alone he is so different, and I think maybe he does care about me but then once we get around people he is totally different. But I know he doesn't love me. He isn't capable of loving anyone other than himself." I explain.
"I'm on your side Tessa, I am. But I saw the look on his face as we drove away, he looked heartbroken and you can't be heartbroken if you aren't in love." Liam says. That can't be true, I felt my heart shatter when he kissed Molly but I don't love him.
"Do you love him?" He simply asks.
"No, I don't love him.. he is.. well... he's a jerk. I have known him less than two months, and half of that .. actually all of that time we have spent fighting. You can't love someone after two months of meeting them." My voice comes out strained and my words too quick. "Besides, he is a jerk."
"You already said that." Liam says and I notice the hint of a smile on his lips as he tries to keep his expression neutral.
I don't like the pressure that I feel in my chest as we are talking about me loving Harry. It makes me feel nauseous and the space in the car feels much smaller. I roll down the window a little and lean my head against the window.
"Do you want to come back to my house or your dorm?' He asks. I want to go to my dorm and curl into a ball on my bed but I am afraid that Steph or Harry will show up. The chance of Harry coming to his father's house is so slim, that seems to me the better option.
"Your house, but can we go by my room so I can grab some clothes? I am sorry for asking you to drive me all over." I tell him and mean it.
"Tessa, you haven't asked very much of me. The drive is short and you are my friend, stop thanking me and apologizing to me for driving you." he says sternly but his sweet smile makes me laugh.
He is the best person I have met here and I am so lucky to have him.
"Well let me thank you one last time for being such a great friend to me." I say and he frowns playfully.
"Your welcome, now lets move on." he says and I nod.
I rush around my room to gather a change of clothes and my books. I feel like I never stay in my room anymore. This will be the first night in five days that I will be staying without Harry. I was beginning to get used to it, how foolish of me. I grab my phone out of my drawer and walk back to Liam's car.
When we get to his house it is after eleven o'clock. I am exhausted and thankful that Ken and Karen are asleep when we arrive. Liam puts a pizza in the oven for us and I eat another one of my cupcakes from earlier. Baking with Karen seems like weeks ago, not hours. I have had such a long day and it started so well with my morning with Harry, the internship, and then he ruined it, just like he always does. After we eat the pizza, Liam and I walk back upstairs and he shows me back to the guest room that I stayed in last time. Well I didn't quite stay in there because I was woken up by a screaming Harry. Time hasn't made sense since I met him, everything has happened so quickly and it makes me dizzy to think about the better times we have had. I thank Liam again and he rolls his eyes at me before leaving me and going into his room. I turn on my phone to find many texts from Harry, Steph, and my mom. I delete all of them, except the message from my mother, without reading them. I already know what they will say and I have had enough of it today. I turn my ringtone and text notifications on silent and sit my phone on the nightstand.
I put on my pajamas and climb onto the bed, it is one in the morning. I have to wake up in four hours, tomorrow is going to be a long day. If I wouldn't have missed my morning classes today, I would just stay home, well here. Or go back to my dorm. Why did I convince Harry to come back to Literature? After tossing and turning, I roll over to check the time. It's almost three. Despite the fact that today has been presumably the best, and then worst day of my life, I am too exhausted to even sleep.
Before I realize what I am doing I am standing in front of Harry's bedroom door. With no one around but myself to judge me, I open the second drawer and grab a white t-shirt, I can tell that it has never been worn but I don't care. I pull my own shirt off and replace it. I lay down on the bed and bury my head in the pillow. Harry's minty scent fills my nostrils and I finally fall asleep.
Harry's POV.
"Come on Niall.. just let me use your phone." I beg.
"She didn't answer your number, Steph's number, or Tristan's, she isn't going to answer mine. He tells me. I roll my eyes and snatch his phone out of his hands.
"I'm not calling her." I snap as my fingers dial her number. I know she isn't going to answer by now, but I can't help it. She is too stubborn, she will surely avoid me for days, if she ever speaks to me again When I get her voicemail I hang up and hand Niall back his phone. He retrieves it with a smirk plastered across his face.
"Don't look at me like that." I warn him. He raises his hands defensively and walks away.
I walk back over to the couch where Molly, Steph and Tristan are sitting and plop down on the end.
"Why don't you just go to our room? I am sure she is there studying or sleeping." Steph tells me.
"Or crying" Molly adds. I glare at her. "Chill out, it's not like she is anything to miss, she's a prudish, annoying.."
"Shut the fuck up Molly! Damn, just shut up!" I yell. She jerks away, obviously frightened but I don't give a shit.
"Don't forget what I can do Harry." She says through her teeth.
"I can do things much worse than that Molly, so watch your fucking tongue." I tell her and stand up.
"Give me the key." I demand and hold my hand out while Steph digs in her purse. As soon as it drops into my hand I head to my car. I haven't seen Zayn in at least thirty minutes, he better not be with Tessa.
No one has mentioned my declaration of love for Tessa, they must know better. I don't know what I was thinking calling it out that way, I just couldn't bear to watch her leave thinking that I don't care about her. I love her, and I have loved her since the first time I woke up to find her small arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't even realize what the feeling was when it happened, but I found myself drawn to her in an unexplainable way. I love the way she looks at me, especially when she thinks I am unaware. I love the way she yells at me and rolls her eyes when I make crude remarks to her. She has been there for me despite every horrible thing that I have done to her, in a way that no one else has. I wish I had an explanation to give her for treating her this way or for letting Molly sit on my lap, but I don't. The best thing I can come up with is that I don't know how to deal with the intensity of my feelings for her, I don't like to be vulnerable to anyone and loving Tessa gives her more control over me than I can deal with so I push her away. It won't make sense to her, hell it doesn't even make sense to me but it's all I've got.
As I reach my car, I try to call her one last time. I know she is going to be pissed off when I show up at her room and I hope she screams at me and even slaps me again. I don't care what she does as long as she lets me in. What if Zayn is there with her? I don't see her letting him in her room, but she was so pissed at me that she might do it just to spite me. Images of them kissing flash over and over in my mind, I have never been jealous of anyone in my life. I don't need to be, I always get what I want. Except with Tessa, first I had to deal with her obnoxious high school boyfriend and now I have to worry about Zayn. If only I could tell her how he is, but I can't because I am equally as guilty. If he is in there with her, I won't be able to stop myself from beating the shit out of him, friend or not. I loved the fact that I was one of only two people she has really kissed, and now Zayn has ruined that.
I get to her room and push the key in. The room is pitch black, letting me know immediately that she isn't here. I call Zayn's phone and he doesn't answer. She must really be with him, the idea makes me sick to my stomach. Why do I have to be so fucked up? If I wasn't such a dick she would be laying in bed with me right now, I would be laying in her lap as she runs her fingers through my hair, an action that I have never let anyone do to me before. I walk over to her bed and notice her school books are gone too, I don't see Zayn bringing her by here to get school books. Liam! She is with Liam, she has to be. How the fuck did I not think of that? Jealousy clouds my thoughts and I begin to think of the possibility of Liam and Tessa, I admit on paper they would be perfect together. He seems to really be in love with that girlfriend of his that I don't care enough to remember her name, so I hope he keeps his hands off of my girlfriend.. she could be my girlfriend if I wouldn't have been an asshole when she confessed that she thought she already was.
The drive to my father's house is short and I practically run to the door. It's locked, I could care less about waking them up but I don't want an audience when I find Tessa. I scroll through to a number I thought I would never actually call.
"Hello?" Liam answers, obviously just waking up.
"Hey.. its uhm Harry, I need you to open the front door." I mutter.
"I don't think that is a good idea." He says.
"Come open the door or I will smash the glass and open it myself." I growl.
"Fine, I will be down in a second." he hangs up.
True to his word, he appears at the door within thirty seconds and opens it.
"Where is she?" I ask and push past him into the foyer.
"She is asleep, I don't think you should bother her. She didn't even get into her room until after one." He tells me.
"Where the hell was she before that?" I ask, taking a step closer to him.
"We were eating pizza, relax." he says and walks up the stairs.
"I have to talk to her." I tell him, I don't know why I am even talking to him.
"We both know what is going to happen when you wake her, but if you don't care then fine." Liam says and I open the guest room door across from my room.
I switch on the light, the bed is empty. The blankets are ruffled and her bag is on the chair but the room is empty.
"Did she leave?" I panic.
"No, she couldn't have, I would have heard her and she doesn't even have a car."
If she is walking around alone at three am, I will lose it. My eyes drift to my door behind Liam and I walk past him to open it. The small lamp on the nightstand is switched on and I step on something as I walk into the room. A shirt? Tessa's shirt. She is curled up on her side wearing a white t-shirt, my heart leaps when I see that one of the dressers drawers is open slightly. She is wearing one of my shirts, laying in my bed, hugging onto my pillow with her long hair sprawled out above her head like a halo.
"I found her.' I look to Liam standing in the door way, then back to Tessa. I want to smooth the crease out of her forehead that I know I caused, and kiss the frown off of her full lips. I can't wake her, I have already caused her enough pain today. I turn off the light and walk out of the room to the guest room across the hall.
"You don't deserve her." Liam says quietly.
"I know." I reply.

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Sunday, 20 May 2018

AFTER ROMANCE Episode 56-60

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Harry asks as he finally breaks our kiss. He sits on my bed and I join him.
"Nothing, just studying." I feel nervous now, like there is some way I should be behaving now that we are.. more, but I have no clue what way that is.
"Cool." He says and clicks his tongue onto the roof of his mouth.
He seems nervous too, I am glad it isn't just me.
"Come here" Harry beckons me and opens his arms. The moment I sit on his lap, the door opens and he groans. Steph, Tristan and Niall all enter the room. They all stare at us and I climb off of Harry and sit on the other side of the bed.
"So are you guys like fuck buddies now?" Niall asks and I squeak.
"No! We aren't" I tell them. I don't know what I should tell them, I will wait for Harry to say something. He stays quiet as Tristan and Niall begin to talk to him about the party last night.
"It seems I didn't miss much." Harry tells them and Niall shrugs.
"Until Molly gave us a strip show, she got completely naked, you should have been there." Niall tells Harry. I cringe and look towards Steph who is staring at Tristan, probably hoping he isn't going to comment on Molly being naked.
"Nothing I haven't seen before." Harry smiles and I gasp then try to conceal it as a cough. He did not just say that. His face falls, seeming to understand what he just did.
Maybe this was a terrible idea, it is already sort of awkward and now that everyone is in the room it is magnified. Why didn't he tell them we were dating? Are we dating? I don't really understand myself. I thought after his confession that we were but we never actually said we are. Maybe we don't need to? This uncertainty is already driving me crazy, the entire time I have been with Noah I have never had to worry about his feelings for me. I never had to deal with ex- friends with benefits, I am the only girl Noah has ever kissed in his life, and honestly I like it that way. I wish Harry had never done anything with another girl, or less of them at least.
"We're going bowling after I change, do you want to come?" Steph asks and I shake my head.
"I have to catch up on my studying, I have barely gotten any done this weekend." I tell her and look away as the memories of this weekend flood through my mind. When did Harry make the plans to go, probably before everything that happened.
"You should come, it will be fun." Harry offers but I shake my head. I really need to stay in, I was sort of hoping he would stay with me.  Steph steps into the closet and returns a few minutes later with different clothes on.
"Ready guys? You're sure you don't want to come?" She asks me and I nod.
"I'm sure." I tell her. They all get up to leave and Harry gives me a wave and a small smile before exiting the room. I am a little disappointed with his goodbye, but what did I expect? For him to rush over and kiss me, tell me he would miss me? I laugh at the thought. I don't know if anything will even change between Harry and I besides we will stop actively trying to avoid one another. I am too used to how things are with Noah so I have no idea how this is going to be and I hate not having control over every situation.
After an hour of studying and attempting to take a nap, I grab my phone to text Harry. Wait, I don't even have his number. I had never thought about it before, we have never talked on the phone or text before. We never needed to, we couldn't stand each other. This is going to be more complicated than I thought.
I call my mother to catch up with her, and mostly to see if Noah has told her what happened yet. He would be arriving back home soon from his two hour drive, and I am sure he won't waste any time telling her everything. She answers with a simple hello, so I know she has no clue yet. I tell her about my attempt to get a car, and the possible internship with Vance. Of course, she reminds me that I have been at college over a month and I still haven't found a car. I roll my eyes and let her continue to ramble on about what she has been doing the last week. My phone lights up while I am listening to her, I place her on speakerphone and read the text.
* You should have came with us, with me .* The message reads. My heart swells, it's Harry.
Pretending to listen to my mother I mumble ,"hmm.. oh.." a few times while I text him back.
*You should have stayed.* I send. I stare at the screen waiting for him to reply.
*I am coming to pick you up* he replies after what seems like forever.
*What? No, I don't want to go bowling, you're already there. Just stay.*
*I already left, be ready.* He is demanding even through a text message.
My mother is still talking and I have no idea what about. I stopped listening once Harry text me.
"Mom, I will call you back." I interrupt her.
"Why?" her tone is surprised.
"I uhm.. well I spilled coffee on my notes. I gotta go" I lie and hang up.
I hastily go into the closet and pull Harry's pajamas off of my body and grab my new jeans and a plain purple top. I brush my hair out, it looks decent considering it hasn't been washed. I check the time and go down to the bathroom to brush my teeth, when I return Harry is waiting on my bed.
"Where were you?" He asks.
"Brushing my teeth." I tell him and put my toiletry bag away.
"Ready?" He stands up and walks towards me. I half expect him to hug me, but he doesn't. He just moves to the door.
I nod and grab my purse and phone.
When we get to his car, he keeps the radio down as he drives. I really don't want to go to the bowling alley. I hate bowling, but I want to spend time with him. I don't like how co-dependent I already feel.
"How long do you think we will be there?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.
"I don't know..why?" He looks sideways at me.
"I don't know.. I don't really care for bowling."
"It won't be too bad. Everyone is there." he assures me. I hope everyone doesn't include part time hoe Molly.
"I guess." I mumble and look out the window.
"You don't want to go?" His voice is quiet.
"Not really, that's why I said no the first time." I laugh a little.
"Let's go somewhere else then?"
"Where?" I am irritated with him, I am not sure why.
"My house." He suggests and I smile and nod. His smiles grow, showing the dimples that I have grown so fond of.
"My house is it then." He reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh. My skin warms, and I put my hand over his.
Fifteen minutes later we are pulling up the large fraternity house. I haven't been here since Harry and I fought, as always, and I walked back to the dorms. He walks slightly ahead of me and leads me up the stairs, I am more familiar with this house than I should be. None of the guys bother to look twice at us, they must be used to seeing Harry bring a girl home. My stomach pings at the thought. I need to stop thinking this way, because it is going to drive me insane and there is nothing I can do to change it.
"Here we are." Harry says and unlocks his door. I follow him inside and he turns the light on, kicking his boots off his feet and onto the floor. He moves over to his bed and pats the spot next to him.
As I walk towards him, my curiosity gets the best of me. "Was Molly there? At the bowling alley?" I look out his window as I ask him.
"Yea, of course she was." he answers causally. "Why?"
I sit down on the soft bed and Harry pulls me by my ankles loser to him. I laugh and slide closer, my back flat against the bed, putting my knees up and my feet on the other side of his legs.
"I was just wondering.." I tell him and he grins.
"She is always going to be around, she is a part our group." he informs me and I nod. I know it is silly of me to be this jealous of her, but she just bothers me. She acts like she likes me when I know she doesn't, and I know she likes Harry. Now that we are.. whatever we are, I don't want her near him.
"You aren't like worried that I will fuck her are you?" I swat his arm at his use of words. I love the way dirty words sound coming off his lips, but not when she is involved.
"No, well I.. maybe. I just know you have before and I don't want you to again." I admit my jealousy. I am sure he is going to mock me or laugh so I turn my head sideways. His hand goes to my knee and he squeezes gently.
"I wouldn't do that.. not now. Don't worry about her, okay?" His words are gentle, and I believe him.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about us?" I know I should just shut my mouth but it has been bothering me.
"I don't know.. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to. Besides, what we do is our business. Not theirs." he explains. His answer is much better than what was going through my mind.
"I guess you're right, I thought maybe you were embarrassed or something?" I say and he laughs.
"Why would I possibly be embarrassed by you? Look at you." His eyes darken and he moves his hand to my stomach. His fingers tug up my shirt and he draws circles on my bare skin with his digits. Goosebumps raise my skin and he smiles.
"I love the way your body responds to me." He breathes. I know what is coming next, and I can't wait.

Harry's fingers trail further up my shirt, causing my breathing to accelerate. A smile crept onto his beautiful face as he became aware.
"One touch and you're already panting" His raspy voice whispers. He leans over, moving my feet off of his lap so that he is can bring his mouth to my neck. His tongue makes a flat stripe down my neck and I quiver. My fingers thread into his curls and I tug as he nips at my skin. One of his hands slides down in between my legs but I grab his wrist to stop him.
"What's wrong?" He breathes.
"Nothing.. I just thought that I would do something for you this time?" I look away. His fingers cup my chin so I am forced to make eye contact with him. He tries to hide his smirk but I catch him.
"And what would you like to do for me?"
"Well.. I thought I could, you know what you said the other day?" I don't know why I am so shy with words when Harry says anything and everything he is thinking, but the words 'blow job' are not in my vocabulary.
"You want to suck my cock?" He asks, clearly surprised. I am officially horrified. Yet somehow turned on.
"Uhm.. yea. I mean if you want me to?" I hope as our relationship progresses I will be able to say these things to him.
"Of course I want you to, I have wanted your lips around me since I saw you the first time." he says. I am oddly flattered by his crude remark.
"Are you sure though? Have you ever .. even seen a dick before?" I know he knows the answer to that, maybe he is just trying to remind me?
"Of course I have. Not a real one, but pictures and I once walked in on the neighbor watching a naughty movie." I tell him and he stifles a laugh.
"Stop laughing at me, Harry." I warn him.
"I'm not baby, I'm sorry. It's just I have never met anyone who has such little experience. It's a good thing though, I swear. Sometimes your innocence just throws me off a bit. But with that being said, it's a huge turn on that I am the only one who has never made you come, yourself included." he doesn't laugh this time which makes me feel better.
"Okay.. so let's get started." I request. He smiles and runs his thumb along my cheek.
"So sassy, I like it." he says and lays stands up.
"Where are you going?" I ask him and he smiles.
"No where, I am just taking my pants off."
"I wanted to do that." I pout and he chuckles and tugs his pants back up.
"Here ya go babe." he puts his hands on his hips.
I smile and move forward, pulling his pants down. Should I pull down his boxers too? Harry takes a step back and puts his heels against his bed before sitting down.
I drop to my knees in front of him and he takes a deep breath.
"Come closer babe."
I scoot closer and place my hands on his bent knees.
"Are you okay?" He asks carefully.
I nod and he pulls me up by my elbows.
"Let's just kiss for a minute?" He suggests pulls on top of him. I am relieved, I still want to do it, I just need a minute to process and kissing will make me more comfortable.
He kisses me, slowly at first but within seconds the electricity builds and takes over me. I grip his arms, hard under my fingertips and rock back and forth on his lap. The bulge in his thin boxers grows and I tug gently on his hair. I wish I would have worn a skirt so I could lift it up and fell him against me.. I am surprised by my own thoughts as I reach down and palm him through his boxers.
"Fuck Tessa. If you keep doing that I will come in my boxers again." He moans and I stop, climbing off of him I move to get on my knees again.
"Take your jeans off." He instructs and I nod before unbuttoning them and slide them down my legs. Feeling brave, I pull my shirt over my head and toss is aside. Harry takes his lip between his teeth as I move back down in front of him. My fingers grip the waistband of his boxers and tug, he lifts off the bed enough for me to pull them down.
I can feel my eyes widen and hear my own gasp as Harry's manhood came into view. Wow, it is big. Much bigger than I expected. How am I going to even get it into my mouth. I stare for a few seconds until I reach out and touch it with my index finger. Harry chuckles as it moves slightly but bounces right back.
"How.. I mean.. what should I do first?" I stutter. I am intimated by the size of him but I want to do this.
"I'll show you, here.. wrap your fingers like last time." He tells me. My fingers wrap around him and I wiggle them a little. The skin covering him is much softer than I expected. I know I am poking it and examining it like a science project but this is so new to me, it almost feels like one. I grip it lightly and move my hand up and down slowly.
"Like this?" I ask and Harry nods, his chest rising and falling.
"Now.. just put your mouth around it. Not all of it, well if you can.. but just put as much as you can." he instructs. I take a deep breath and lean down. Opening my mouth, I take him in, only about halfway. He hisses and his hands move to my shoulders. I pull back slightly and taste something salty. Is that come already? The taste goes away and I move my head up and down. Some instinct that I wasn't aware of tells me to move my tongue up and down his shaft as I move.
"Holy fuck. Yea, like that." Harry groans and I repeat the action. His grip on my shoulders tightens and his hips rock upwards to meet my mouth. I push myself further, taking almost all of him in and look up at him. His eyes are rolled to the back of his head and he looks heavenly. I turn my focus back to sucking and move a little faster.
"Use your hand on.. on the rest.." he gasps and I oblige. My hand moves up and down on the bottom of him as my mouth works the top. I suck my cheeks in and he groans again.
"Fuck.. fuck. Tessa. I am.. I am so close." he strains. "If you don't want it in your mouth.. then .. you .. have to stop."
I look up at him, keeping him in my mouth. I love the way he is losing control because of me.
"Shit.. keep looking.. at me." His body tenses as he watches me. I bat my eyelashes, giving the full effect. Harry curses my name repeatedly and I feel a slight jerk in my mouth, the warm salty liquid shoots down my throat in short spurts. I gag and pull back. It didn't taste as bad as I thought it would, but it definitely doesn't taste good. His hands move from my shoulders to my cheeks.
"How was it?" He is out of breath. I climb off of my knees and sit next to him on the bed. His arms wrap around me and he lays his head on my shoulder.
"I thought it was nice." I say and he laughs.
"Nice?"
"It was fun, sort of. To see you that way. And it didn't taste as bad as I thought." I confess. I should be embarrassed that I just admitted to liking it but I am not. "How was it for you?" I ask nervously.
"I was pleasantly surprised. It was the best head I have ever gotten." I blush at his words.
"Sure it was." I laugh. I appreciate him trying to make me feel better about my lack of experience.
"No, really. The way you are so.. pure, it does something to me. And fuck, when you looked up at me.."
"Okay! Okay!" I cut him off and wave my hand at him. I don't want to relive every detail of my first time doing this. He chuckles and gently pushes me back against the mattress.
"Now let me make you feel as good as you did me" he growls in my ear and sucks the skin on my neck. His fingers hook into my panties and tug them down. "Do you want my finger or my tongue?" He whispers seductively.
"Both" I answer and he smiles.
"As you wish." he says and dips his head down. I whimper and tug at his hair again. I do that a lot to him, but he seems to like it. "I will try two fingers next time." he says against my sensitive area. My back arches off the bed and within minutes I am in a completely euphoric state, calling Harry's name as I come undone.
He stays quiet as he lays down next to me, letting me enjoy my sedated state. After my breathing slows, I sit up and bring my fingers to trace the dark ink on his chest. He watches me carefully but doesn't stop me.
"No one has ever touched me this way." He admits and I swallow all the questions I want to ask him. Instead of interrogating him, I give him a small smile and a quick kiss on his chest.
"Stay with me tonight?" He asks and I shake my head.
"I can't, tomorrow is Monday and we have classes." I want to stay with him but not on a Sunday.
"Please."
"I don't have any clothes to wear tomorrow."
"Wear those, please stay with me. Just one night, I promise you will make it to your classes on time."
"I don't know.."
"I will even make sure you get there fifteen minutes early and have enough time to stop by the coffee house and meet Liam." he says and my lips part.
"How do you know I do that?"
"I watch you.. I mean not all the time. But I notice you more than you think." he tells me and my heart swells. I am falling for him, hard and fast.
"I will stay." I tell him but hold my hand up to continue, "On one condition."
"What's that?" He smiles.
"Come back to Literature." I ask and he raises his eyebrow.
"Done."
I smile at his simple answer and he pulls me closer to his chest.

( For everyone wondering who I picture as Tessa, it's Indiana Evans. What she looks like in Blue Lagoon, not H2o and Noah is Zach Roerig from Vampire Diaries)
After laying in Harry's arms for a few minutes, I begin to think about my agreement to stay with Harry tonight.
"I don't have my books, or a toothbrush. And I haven't taken a shower." I tell him. He sighs and lifts up, unwrapping himself from me.
"We can get your books in the morning before your first class, or we could even go get them now, as long as you come back with me. You promised." He reminds me with a smile. His lips meet my jaw, trialing kisses up and down. His lips on my skin cause my judgment to cloud, he knows exactly what he is doing.
"And what about my shower?" I remind him.
"You can take one here, down the hall."
"In a frat house? Who knows who will come in."
"One, the door locks and two, I would accompany you obviously." he remarks.
I scowl at his tone but decide to ignore it. "Fine. I would like to take a shower now, before it gets too late."
He nods and stands up and reaches for his jeans. I climb off the bed and do the same, leaving my panties off. I don't like the idea of wearing these clothes again tomorrow but since Harry is going to take me by my room in the morning, I will change then.
"No panties?" He smirks and I roll my eyes.
"Do you have shampoo? I don't even have a hairbrush." I am starting to get anxious thinking of all the things that I don't have with me. "And q-tips? Dental floss?" I continue.
"Relax, we have q-tips and floss. We probably even have an extra toothbrush and I know there is a hairbrush or two in there. There are probably even extra panties in every size if you want some." he informs me.
"Panties?" I ask before I realize he means they were left by other girls. "Never mind." I say before he can explain. I hope Harry doesn't have some weird collection of girls panties that he has slept with.
He leads me to the bathroom, I feel more comfortable in here than I imagined, only because I have been in this bathroom quite a few times.
Harry turns on the water and pulls his shirt over his head.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Taking a shower?"
"Oh, I thought I was taking one first."
"You can take one with me." he says casually.
"Uhm.. no! I won't." I laugh. I can't take a shower with him.
"Why no? Ive already see you, you have seen me. What's the big deal?" He groans.
"I don't know.. I just don't want to." I know he has already seen me naked but taking a shower together just seems so intimate. More intimate even than what we just did.
"Fine. You go first then." his voice has a slight edge to it.
I smile sweetly and ignore his sour tone and undress. His eyes scan my body and then look away. My hand reaches behind the curtain to check the temperature of the water and I step in.
Harry stays silent while I wet my hair. Too silent. "Harry?" I call. Did he leave the bathroom?
"Yea?"
"I thought maybe you left." I admit. He pulls back the curtain a little and pops his curly head in.
"Nope, still here."
"Is something wrong?" I ask him. He shakes his head in response but doesn't say anything. Is he really pouting like a child because I won't take a shower with him? I almost want to tell him to join me, but I want him to get the point that he can't just get his way all the time. His head disappears from the shower and I hear him sit down on the toilet.
The shampoo and body wash are both strong musky scents, I miss my vanilla shampoo but this is fine for one night. It probably would have made more sense for Harry to stay with me in my room, but Steph would be in there and it would be awkward to explain everything and I don't imagine Harry would be as affectionate if she was around. The thought bothers me but I push it back.
"Could you hand me a towel?" I ask him and shut off the water. "Or two, if you have enough." I like to have one for my hair and one for my body.
His hand pushes through the curtain holding two towels, I thank him and he mutters something that I don't understand.
He pulls his jeans down as I dry off and turns the water back on. I can't help but stare at his naked body as he gets into the shower. I should have taken one with him, not because he is pouting, but because I really want to.
"I'm going to go back to your room." I tell him. He is ignoring me anyway.
He jerks the curtain back, causing the rings to scrape against the rod. "No, you're not."
"What is your problem?" I snap. He is annoying me now.
"Nothing, you're just not going back by yourself. There are thirty guys living here, you don't need to be wandering the halls."
"There is something else, you have been pouting since I said you couldn't take a shower with me."
"No..I haven't."
"Tell me why or I will go out there in this towel." I threaten, knowing I would never actually do it. His eyes narrow and he reaches out for my arm to stop me, splashing water on the floor.
"I just don't like being told no." His voice is low but much softer than it was moments ago.
I imagine that when it comes to girls Harry hardly, if ever, hears the word no. My mind tells me to tell him to get used to it, but I haven't told him no until this point either. As soon as he touches me, I do whatever he wants.
"Well, I am not like the other girls Harry." I snap. My jealousy surpassing my annoyance towards him.
A small smile plays on his lips as the water runs over his face. "I know, Tess. I know." He closes the curtain and I pull my clothes on and he turns the water off.
"You can wear some of my clothes to bed." He tells me and I nod. I barely hear him because I am too focused on his glistening body in front of me. He rubs the towel against his hair, leaving it sticking up all over his head, then wraps the towel around his waist. The white towel hangs so low on his hips, he looks like pure sex. It feels like the temperature in the bathroom has raised twenty degrees. He bends down and opens the cabinet, pulling out a hairbrush and places it into my hand.
"Come." he says and I shake my head, trying to clear the dirty thoughts from my mind. We walk down the hall and turn the corner as a tall blonde guy almost runs into me.. I look up at his face and my bones chill.
"Haven't seen you in a while." he purrs and I feel nauseous.
"Harry." I squeak and he turns around, it takes him only a moment to remember this is the same guy who tried to make a move on me before.
"Get away from her Neil." he snaps and Neil pales. He must not have seen Harry before he turned the corner.
"My bad Styles" Neil says and walks away.
"Thanks" I whisper to Harry. He wraps his hand over mine and unlocks his door.
"I should just beat the shit out of him, yea?" Harry says as I take a seat on the bed.
"No! You shouldn't." I beg. I can't tell if he is serious but I don't want to find out. He grabs the remote off his dresser and switches the television on before opening the drawer and tossing me a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.
I remove my jeans and pull the boxers on, rolling them a few times at the top.
"Could I maybe wear the shirt you wore today?" I don't realize how weird it sounds until the words are out.
"What?" He grins.
"I.. well.. never mind. I don't know what I was saying." I lie. I want to wear your dirty shirt because it smells good? That sounds strange and crazy. He chuckles and picks the shirt off the floor and walks over to me.
"Here babe" He says and hands me the used shirt. I am glad he didn't embarrass me further, but I still feel a little silly.
"Thanks" I chirp and pull my purple shirt off and remove my bra, replacing them with his shirt. It smells just as amazing as I knew it would. his eyes soften as he looks at me.
"You are beautiful" he says and looks away. I get the feeling he didn't mean to say the words out loud, which makes my heart swell even more. I smile at him and take a step towards him.
"So are you." I compliment and his cheeks flush.
"Enough of that" he laughs. "What time do you need up in the morning?" He asks and sits on the bed, browsing through the channels.
"Five, but I will set my own alarm"
"Five? Five in the morning? Your first class at what, nine? Why do you get up so early?"
"I don't know, just to be prepared I guess?" I rake the hairbrush through my hair.
"Well lets get up at seven, my body doesn't function before seven" he tells me and I groan. Harry and I are so different.
"Six thirty?" I try to compromise.
"Fine, six thirty." he agrees.
We spend the rest of the evening watching random television shows before Harry falls asleep with his head on my lap, my fingers running through his hair. I slide down and lay next to him, trying not to wake him.
"Tess?" He groans and his hands move in front of him as if he is reaching for me.
"Here" I whisper from behind him, he turns to his other side and wraps his arm around me before falling back to sleep. He says that he sleeps better when I am around, that is true for me as well.
..
The next morning, my alarm goes off at six thirty and I rush around to try to put yesterday's clothes on and get Harry up and dressed. He is so hard to wake up. I feel flustered and unprepared but we make it to my room by 7:15, giving me plenty of time to change and brush my hair and teeth again. Steph sleeps through us being there and I prevent Harry from pouring a glass of water on her head to wake her. Harry doesn't make any rude comments as I pull on one of my long skirts and a plain blue shirt.
"See, it's only eight, we have twenty minutes before we have to leave to walk to the coffee house." Harry brags.
"We?"
"Yea, I thought I would walk with you? If not, that's cool too" He says and looks away.
"Yea, of course its fine." I am just not used to whatever this is that has changed between us. It will be nice to not have to avoid Harry, or worry about running into him. What will Liam think? Will we even tell Liam? "What should we do with our twenty minutes?" I smile.
"I have a few ideas." His lips turn to a smirk and he pulls me onto him.
"Steph is here." I remind him as he sucks the skin under my ear.
"I know, we are only kissing." He laughs and presses his lips to mine.
We leave before Steph wakes and Harry offers to carry my bag which is a nice but unexpected gesture.
"Where are your books?" I ask him.
"I don't bring them, I just borrow one everyday, in every class. Prevents me from having to carry one of these." he says and gestures to my bag on his shoulder. I roll my eyes and laugh at him.
When we reach the coffee house Liam is leaning against the brick and seems surprised to see Harry and I together. I give him an "I will explain everything later" look and he smiles.
"Well, I better get going, I have classes to sleep through." Harry says and I nod. I am not sure if I should hug him? He drops my bag and hooks his arm around my waist, pulling him to his chest before kissing me. I didn't see this coming. I kiss him back and he releases me.
"See you later" he grins and looks at Liam. This couldn't be more awkward. Liam's jaw is practically on the floor and I am embarrassed by Harry's bold move.
"Uhmm.. sorry about that." I don't really care for public displays of affection usually. Noah and I have never done anything like that, expect when I tried to kiss him at the mall to get Harry off my mind. "I have a lot to tell you." I flush and Liam picks up my bag.

I explain to Liam that Noah and I broke up and that I am not sure what to call my relationship with Harry. I think we are dating, but we haven't exactly discussed the technical terms. He stays quiet during most
"I know I have already warned you, so I wont do it again. But please just be careful with him. I will admit he seems to be infatuated with you, as infatuated as he can be for being him." Liam tells me as we take our seats.
"Thank you." It means a lot to me that despite his dislike of Harry he is doing his best to be understanding and supportive.
As I walk into my third class my Sociology professor waves me over to his podium.
"I just got a call to have you report to the chancellor's office" He tells me. What? Why? For a second I forget that Harry's father is the chancellor. I relax a little but then my nerves take over again. What could he possibly need? I know college doesn't work the same way as high school, but I feel as if I am getting called down to the principles office, only the principle happens to be my.. boyfriends? dad.
"Oh okay." I finally respond.
"We are just going over natural selection, I am sure you already have the assignment completed." he smiles and I nod. I love when professors acknowledge my hard work.
I pull my bag onto my shoulder and make my way across campus to the administration building. It is a far walk and takes me over a half hour to get there. I really need to get a car, this week. I will have to go further away from campus to prevent getting ripped off but I can't go another week without a car.
I give the secretary at the front desk my name and she quickly picked up the phone. I can't hear anything except "Dr. Styles." Of course Ken holds a doctorate.
"He is ready for you." She smiles and points to the wooden door across the hall.
Before I can knock, the door creaks open and Ken greets me with a smile. "Tessa, thank you for coming." He says and gestures for me to sit down. He takes a seat in the large swivel chair behind an over sized cherry wood desk. I feel much more intimated by him in this office than I ever did at his home.
"Sorry for calling you out of class, I didn't know how else to reach you and you know Harry can be.. difficult." He says and I laugh.
"It's okay, really. Is something wrong?" I ask nervously.
"No, not at all. I have a few things to discuss with you. I will start with the internship, I talked to my friend at Vance and he would love to meet with you, the sooner the better. If you're free tomorrow that would be best." He says.
"Really!" I shriek, my excitement brings me to my feet. I realize it is awkward that I am standing, so I hastily sit back down. "That is so great, thank you so much! You have no idea how much I appreciate it!" I tell him. This is such great news, I can't believe he would do this for me.
"It really is my pleasure Tessa. Shall I tell him you will come tomorrow?" He asks. I really don't want to miss any classes but this is worth it and I am ahead anyway.
"Yes, that will be great. Thank you again. Wow." I say and he laughs.
"Now for the second thing, if you say no that is perfectly fine.It is more of a personal request, or favor I suppose. Your internship at Vance will not be effected in any way if you decline." he says and I grow nervous. I nod and he continues. "I am not sure if Harry has told you that Karen and I are to be married next weekend."
"I knew the wedding was coming up." I tell him. I didn't know it was that close. My thoughts travel to when Harry crashed their home and drank almost an entire bottle of scotch.
"I was wondering if there is any way.. that you could possibly convince Harry to come." His eyes leave mine and he stares at the wall. "I know this is overstepping my boundaries but I would hate for him to not be there and honestly, I believe you are the only one who could convince to show up. I have asked him a few times and he says no immediately." He breathes.
I have no idea what to say to him, I would love to get Harry to his father's wedding but I doubt he will listen to me. Why does everyone seem to think he will? I remember when Ken told me he believes Harry is in love with me. I almost laugh again at the thought.
"I will certainly talk to him. I would love if he went." I tell him honestly.
"Really? Thank you so much Tessa. I hope you don't feel pressured to say yes. I look forward to hoepfully seeing you both there." He smiles. A wedding with Harry? The idea sounds so lovely, but Harry will be hard to convince. "Karen is very fond of you, she really enjoyed having you over this weekend. You are welcome anytime."
"I really enjoyed being there, maybe I can get in touch with her about those baking lessons she offered." I laugh and he chuckles. He looks so much like Harry when he smiles that it makes my heart warm. Harry's father is so desperate to have a relationship with his angry, broken son that it breaks my heart. If I can do anything to help Ken, I certainly will.
"She would love that! Come by any time." He says and I stand up.
"Thank you again for helping me with the internship. It means so much to me." I tell him.
"I have looked over your grades so far and they are very impressive. I believe Harry could learn a lot from you." he says with hope in his green eyes.
I feel my cheeks heat as I smile and say my goodbye. By the time I walk back across campus to the Literature building, I have only five minutes until class begins. Harry occupies his old seat and I can't help the smile on my face.
"You held up your end of the deal, so did I." he smiles back. I greet Liam and take my seat between them.
"Why were you so late?" Harry whispers as the professor begins class.
"I will tell you after class." I smile. I know if I bring this up now, he will cause a scene in the middle of class.
"Tell me."
"I said I willl tell you after class, it's no big deal." I promise him. He sighs but lets it go.
When class ends, Harry and Liam both stand up and I am not sure which one to talk to. I usually talk to Liam after class and we walk out together, but now Harry is back and I am unsure.
"Are you still coming to the bonfire with Danielle and I Friday? I was thinking you should come over for dinner first. I know my mom would love it." Liam says before Harry can speak.
"Yea, of course I am still coming. Dinner sounds great, just let me know the details and I will be there." I smile. I can't wait to meet Danielle, she makes Liam happy and for that I already love her.
"I'll text you." he says and walks away.
"I'll text you" Harry mocks and I roll my eyes.
"Don't make fun of him." I warn.
"Oh yea, I forgot how angry you get. I recall you almost jumping over that booth at Molly when she did." he laughs and I shove his shoulder.
"I mean it Harry, leave him alone. Please." I add to soften the mood.
"He's living with my dad, I have earned the right to make fun of him." he smiles at me and I laugh. As we walk out of the building, I decide it's now or never.
"Speaking of your dad..." I look over and he has already tensed. "That's where I was today. In his office, he has set up an interview at Vance for me tomorrow. Isn't that great?"
"He what?" He scoffs. Here we go.
"He set up and interview for me. It is a great opportunity for me Harry." I plead for his understanding.
"Fine." He sighs.
"There's more." I add.
"Of course there is.."
"He invited me to the wedding next weekend.. well us. He invited us to the wedding." I stutter and he glares at me.
"No, I am not going. End of discussion." He turns to walk away from me.
"Wait, just hear me out. Please?" I reach for his wrist but he jerks away.
"No. You really need to stay out of this Tessa, I am not kidding. Mind your own damn business for once." he snaps and I frown.
"Harry.." I say once more but he ignores me. He walks away and into the parking lot. My feet have become cement, keeping me from following after him.
I watch as his white car peels out of the parking lot. He is overreacting and I am not going to feed into it. He needs some time to cool off before we speak again. I knew he wouldn't want to go but I had hoped he would at least discuss it. Who am I kidding? We only started this "more" thing two days ago. I don't know why I keep expecting things to be so much different. They are in some ways, Harry is nicer to me mostly, and he kissed me in public which was really surprising. However, Harry is still essentially Harry and he is stubborn and has an attitude problem. Sighing, I hook my bag over my shoulder and walk back to my room.
Steph is sitting cross-legged on the floor staring up at her television when I enter the room.
"Where were you last night? It's not like you to stay out on a school night young lady." She teases and I roll my eyes playfully.
"I .. was out." I tell her. I don't know if I should tell her that I stayed with Harry.
"With Harry." She adds and I look away.
"I know you were, he asked me for your number then he left the bowling alley and never came back." She states.
"Don't tell anyone, I don't exactly know what is going on myself." I tell her. She promises not to say anything to anyone. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking about her and Tristan before he picks her up to take her to dinner. When he arrives at the room he kisses her as soon as she opens the door, he holds her hand while she gathers her things and he smiles at her the entire time. Why can't Harry be that way with me? I haven't heard anything from Harry in a few hours but I don't want to be the one to text him first. Petty, I know but I don't care. I finish up my studying and gather my things to go take a shower, my phone buzzes as I reach my door. My heart leaps as soon as I see Harry's name.
*Stay with me tonight?* The text reads. He hasn't spoken to me in hours but he wants me to stay with him? Again?
*Why? So you can be a jerk to me?* I respond. I want to see him but I am still annoyed.
*I'm on my way, be ready.* He sends. I roll my eyes at his bossy tone but can't help feel excited to see him.
I rush down and take a shower so I don't have to take one at his frat house again. By the time I finish, I barely have enough time to gather my clothes for tomorrow. I dread taking the bus all the way to Vance, its a thirty minute drive. I am folding my clothes neatly into my bag when Harry opens the door, without knocking of course.
"Ready?" He asks and grabs my purse off the dresser. I nod and put my bag over my shoulder and follow him out. We walk to his car in silence, I hope the rest of the night doesn't go this way.

Harry pulls out of the parking lot and I stare out the passenger window, I don't want to speak first. I need to assess his mood first. He turns the radio on and turn the volume up too loud. I roll my eyes but try to ignore it, but I can't. I hate his taste is music, it gives me an instant headache. Without asking I turn the knob down and Harry looks over at me.
"What?" I snap.
"Woah, someone is in a pissy mood." He says.
"No, I just didn't want to listen to that and if anyone is in a bad mood it is you. You were being rude earlier then you text me and ask me to stay, I don't get it."
"I was pissed because you brought up the wedding, now that it is settled that we aren't going there is no need for me to be pissed." His tone is calm and sure.
"It is not settled, we didn't even talk about it."
"Yes we did. I told you I'm not going so drop it Theresa."
"Well you may not be going but I am. And I am going over to your dad's house to learn to bake with Karen this week." I tell him. He clenches his jaw and glares at me.
"You're not going to the wedding, and what are you and Karen like best friends now. You barely even know her. Why do you want to go to the wedding anyway?"
"Yes I am going to the wedding, and so what if I barely know her. I barely know you." I tell him. His face falls and I feel bad but it is true.
"Why are you being so difficult?" He says through his teeth.
"Because you aren't going to tell me what to do Harry. It's not happening. If I want to go to the wedding I will, and I really would like if you would come with me. It could be fun, you may even have a nice time. It would mean a lot to your father and Karen, not that you care about that."
He doesn't say anything. He lets out a large breath and I stare back out the window. The rest of the ride is spent in silence, both of us too angry to speak. When we pull up the fraternity house, Harry grabs my bag out of the backseat and puts it over his shoulder.
"Why are you part of a frat anyway?" I ask him. I have been wanting to know the answer since I discovered his room the first time.
He takes another deep breath as we walk up the steps. "Because, by the time I agreed to come here the dorms were full and I sure as hell wasn't going to live with my father so this was one of the few options I had."
"Then why stay in?"
"Because I don't want to live with my father Tessa. Besides, look at this house, its nice and I did get the biggest room." He smirks a little. I am glad to see his anger is wearing down.
"Why don't you live off campus?" I ask him and he shrugs. Maybe he doesn't want to have to get a job. I follow him quietly up to his room and wait as he unlocks the door. What is it with him and his obsession over no one going into his room.
"Why won't you let anyone in your room?" I ask and he rolls his eyes. He sits my bag down on the floor.
"Why do you always ask so many questions?" He groans and sits on the chair.
"I don't know, why won't you answer them?" I ask but of course he ignores me.
"Can I hang up my outfit for tomorrow? I don't want it to get too wrinkled from being in my bag."
He seems to think about it for a second before he nods and stands to retrieve a hanger from his closet. I grab the skirt and blouse out and hang them on the hanger, ignoring his sour expression at the outfit
"I have to get up earlier than usual tomorrow so I can be at the bus station by 8:45, the stop three streets over will take me two blocks away from Vance." I inform him.
"What? You're going there tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I did.. you were too busy sulking to pay attention." I fire back.
"I will drive you there, you don't need to take an hour long bus ride." I want to decline his offer just to annoy him but I decide against it. Harry's car is a much better way to get there than a crowded bus.
"I am going to get a car soon, I can't last any longer without one. If I get the internship, I would have to take the bus there three days a week."
"I would drive you" He says, his voice is almost a whisper.
"I'll just get my own car." I tell him. "The last thing I need is for you to be mad at me and not pick me up."
"I would never do that." His tone is serious.
"Yea, you would. Then I would be stuck trying to find a bus route. No thanks." I half joke. I honestly feel like I could depend on him but I don't want to take any chances, he is just too moody.
Harry turns on the television and stands up to change his clothes. No matter how annoyed with him I am, I would never turn down a chance to watch him undress. His shirt is pulled over his head first, then I watch his muscles contract under his skin as he unbuttons and pulls down his tight black jeans. Just as I think he is going to only wear boxers, he pulls a pair of thin cotton pants out of his dresser and puts them on. He stays shirtless, lucky for me.
"Here" He mumbles and hands me the shirt he just removed. I can't help the smile on my face as I take it in my hands. This must be our thing now, he must like me wearing his shirt to bed as much as I love the smell of him on the fabric. Harry focuses on the television as I follow his lead and change into his shirt and a pair of yoga pants. The pants are more like spandex leggings, but they are comfortable. After I fold up my bra and clothes Harry finally looks at me again. He clears his throat and his eyes rake my body.
"Those uhm.. pants are really sexy." he compliments and I flush.
"Thanks."
"Much better than your fuzzy cloud pants." he teases and I laugh while taking a seat on the floor. I feel oddly comfortable in this impersonal room. Maybe its the books, or Harry, I am not sure. Harry
"Did you mean it in the car when you said you barely know me?" He asks quietly. His question is very unexpected.
"Sort of. You aren't the easiest person to get to know." I admit.
"I feel like I know you." he says, his eyes locked into mine.
"Yea because I let you, I tell you things about myself."
"I tell you things too. It may not seem that way, but you know me better than anyone else does." he looks down at the floor then back into my eyes. He looks sad and vulnerable, such a difference from usual but equally as captivating.
I am not sure what to say to his confession, I feel like I do know Harry on a very personal level, like somehow we connect much deeper than just knowing minuscule information about each other but I would like to know more about him.
"You know me better than anyone too." I tell him. He knows me, the real Tessa. Not the Tessa that I have to pretend to be around my mother, or even Noah. I have told Harry things about my father leaving, my mother's criticism, and my fears that I ever never told anyone else. Harry seems very pleased with this information, a smile covers his beautiful face as he stands from the chair and moves to the floor. He sits next to me and takes my hands into his.
"What do you want to know Tessa?" He asks and my eyes almost pop out of my head. Harry is finally willing to tell me more about himself. I am this much closer to figuring out this complicated, angry, yet sometimes lovely man.
Harry and I both lay back on the bed, eyes on the ceiling as I ask him at least a hundred questions. He talks about the place he grew up, Hampstead and how nice it was living there. He talks about the scar on his knee from the first time he learned to ride a bike with no training wheels, and how his mother passed out from the blood. His father was at the bar that day, all day long so his mother was the one who taught him. He tells me about grade school and how he spent most of his time reading. He was never very social, and as he got older, his dad drank more and more and his parents fought more and more. He tells me about how he got kicked out of secondary school for fighting but his mother begged them to let him back. He began getting tattoos at sixteen, his friend would do them in his basement. His first tattoo was a star, and once he got one he wanted more and more. He tells me he doesn't have a specific reason why he hasn't tattooed his back, he just hasn't gotten around to it yet. He hates birds and loves classic cars. The best day of his life was when he learned to drive and the worst was when his parents divorced. His father stopped drinking when he was fourteen and has been trying to make up for all the terrible years but Harry isn't having it. My head is swimming with all of this new information and I feel like I finally understand him. There are still many more things I would love to know about him but he falls asleep while telling me about the playhouse made from cardboard boxes that him and his mother made when he was eight. As I watch him sleep he appears so much younger now that I know about his childhood. It was mostly happy until his father's alcoholism poisoned it, creating the angry Harry that he is today. I lean over and give Harry a kiss on his cheek before crawling to the bed to sleep, I don't want to wake him so I pull the comforter sideways to cover myself up. My dreams are clouded by a curly haired little boy falling off a bicycle.
"Stop!" I jolt awake at the pained sound of Harry's voice. His body is jerking on the floor. I hurry out of the bed to get down to him and shake his shoulders gently to try to wake him. I remember how difficult it was to wake him last time, so I lean down on him and wrap my small arms around his shoulders as he tries to thrash away from me. A whimper escapes his perfect lips and he wakes up.
"Tess." He breathes and wraps his arms around me. He is panting, out of breath, and sweating. I should have asked him about the nightmares, but I didn't want to be greedy, he told me much, much more than I had ever expected him to.
"I'm here, I'm here." I comfort him. I pull his arm, gesturing him to get up and come to bed. When his eyes meet mine, the confusion and fear slowly fades out of them.
"I thought you left." He whispers. We lay down and he pulls me as close to him as possible. I run my fingers through his damp and unruly hair, his eyes flutter closed.
I don't say anything, I just continue to rub his scalp to calm him.
"Don't ever leave me, Tess." he whispers and falls back into sleep. My heart nearly explodes at his plea, and I know that as long as he wants me here, I'm here.

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